Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Hospital Window



Hospital Window

A great note for all to read it will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

"Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

The origin of this letter is unknown, but it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.

Do not keep this letter.

Just forward it to your friends to whom you wish blessings.

Wednesday, November 2, 2005

Update on me... whatever...

Nothing new is happening to my life right now. I'm just playing Final Fantasy VIII to keep me busy and I love it! I'm already on the last CD and I'm about to finish it! It's a very good game. On my phone I installed Lufia the Legend Returns (Gameboy Advance) to keep me entertained while on the road or something. Why am I keeping myself so entertained? Because I'm bored! I have nothing better to do and I can't even explain why I'm already so excited to go to school! Well I have to admit that I love school, it's the only thing I'm good at so why blunder or fail right? I'm really determined to finish nursing but I don't want to end there. I really want to become a doctor. I wanted to become a nurse but the reason of most nurses sicken me. Yes, we do need money to survive but they give nurses the image of prostitutes doing everything for money. Money money money! I hate it! But aside from that, there are also nurses who chose nursing as their career because they simply wanted to help and that it's their calling. These are the kind of nurses I look up to and want to be someday, before I becoem a doctor that is.



Now, you might think I'm a heartless self-centered person for saying those things. But your wrong... sometimes I jsut want that to be true so rthat I wont feel the pain of being hurt by people all the time. That's why i play RPGs. Yes, it might be because I prefer to be in a different world where I have the power so that no one can hurt me any longer.



But that's life... isn't it... it's unfair.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Government Destabilization: An Opinion

Government Destabilization: An Opinion

The Philippines seems to go down the drain. It really seems that there is no more hope for this country so why stay and drown with it right? I don't know I'm not really in my patriotic self right now. It's just because of the STUPID people. Let's take the stupid congressmen first. They are all big stars doing anything to get media attention saying that they're doing something to hide the fact that they really aren't doing anything. Instead of wasting their time desperately trying to cause government destabilization and ruining our economy, why don't they do their job?! Did you know that it's been a couple of years now and there has been no action to separate the minor offenders from the legally responsible ones. If they really want to make a change in this country, why don’t they do that change first? Innocent children are on the death row right now and have life sentences. What kind of heartless beasts would do nothing even if they had the power to give these children a chance to live a good life and have a better future?! They are so stupid. They should do their part first and allow the president to do her part.

The president is at war right now, she's on the constant battle to prevent poverty, terrorism, and other crimes to take us over but instead of supporting her they add to the problem making our lives worst. Well people will be people, greedy, selfish, and did I say greedy? And the bishops, the stupid bishops… Because of them my faith has gone down the drain. When will they learn that the state is SEPERATE from the church? What do they want? Do they want to regain the power they once had during the time we were colonized by Spain? And it is also the church’s fault that we are facing overpopulation. No to birth control they say but wouldn’t it be better to prevent conception than to throw the innocent to a life in poverty or hell as it is now. Mind you, contraception is way different from abortion. But this is not my point, my point is that the church may want the greater good but they should know that there are better ways other than adding to the chaos we have by going on the streets rallying. The church should know their place. They are here to unite the people and bring them closer to God, and not to cause chaos. Their so called assembly was not there only for prayer, it was a prayer RALLY. A wolf behind sheep’s clothing as they say. The prayer was a lie because it was inferred that the whole assembly was to trick everyone to mutiny.

I totally side with the government with the water cannon incident. Why? Everyone is equal in the eyes of the law and no one is above it. So what if they were bishops, senators, congressmen, nuns, and so what if the ex-vice president was there? The video footage was hilarious and I can’t help but say they deserved it. It has been clear that there is a no-permit-no-rally policy to maintain peace and order and to protect the safety and interest of the people! Mendiola is a no-rally area. Why? It is near the center of governance and an up rise led by this small group of selfish people will give a wrong impression to the international community that the Philippines is an unstable country making us look worse as we are now. Plus there are proper places to hold a rally and they are adding to the traffic. Excuse me Mr. Ex-Vice President but you really were interfering with the rights of others by giving them inconvenience by causing traffic jams. We should report you to the United Nations for starting an up rise. They said that their assembly was a peaceful one. Yeah right! It's so peaceful that it's political in nature and leads to the president's resignation. But what good will we get from the president's resignation ESPECIALLY at the time like this where terror, poverty, and economic crisis all enmesh in this sphere waiting to explode and envelope us all. I was thinking, if there was only a restart button and a save point in our lives, why don’t we let the president resign, and of course that would lead to a power struggle, chaos, terrorists will grab the opportunity and add more to the chaos, the economy becomes worst, prices o the commodities will rise, and who will the masses, who do not even pay tax by the way, blame now? The president? The government? Who! Their stupid selves of course because they allowed themselves be fooled by hard, cold cash.

They are right when they said that they have the right to freedom of speech. The thing is that this so called right of theirs should not interfere with the right of others? There are appropriate places to hold a rally. Business centers, government offices, and public roads are not one of those places. Please take consideration of the rights of others. Do not allow our economy go down to shambles just because of your lust for power. Yes, I'm talking to the opposition. You do not represent the people. Because there will be a party for the government and I am one of that party. And because I am a citizen of this country I will not allow you people to take over and do with it as you will. I also have the right to freedom of speech and I am obliged to my opinion yes so this is my opinion and I will stand up for it.

I wonder why the government does not arrest the anti-government groups for treason. To me they are worst than rebels. They sicken me because they go out rallying but when they are caught they hide their faces because they are ashamed to take a stand to their beliefs. I am talking about the UP teens who tried to disturb a peaceful gathering where the president was at. I don’t know but the Filipinos don’t know a single thing about loyalty. They don’t trust the government that’s why because they think that nation building is only the government’s job. They are wrong for nation building is EVERYONE’S CONCERN! We should play our part in this attempt to even form a NATION for I believe that we don’t have one for we DON’T HAVE UNITY. Why does the government have to place rewards for information about the whereabouts of criminals? Isn’t it the duty of the citizens to hand out to the law these enemies of society? Isn’t it that the government is only trying to protect the people and the country?

The president does not run the country by herself that is why there are local government agencies. Do not blame the president for every blunder of local government agencies and for the soaring high prices of commodities and goods. She is not God and she is not superwoman. She does not have the power to control and change everything that is why during this time of war that she has, that we have, let us not be traitors to our great leader and to our country. Let us support her and unite for change!

All of us have a role that we must play in our quest for change, development, and peace. Let us not be brain washed by the opposition who are desperate and are trying everything to destabilize the government, the one thing that keeps us all together. Let us take a stand right now. Think of the common good. Speak your mind. There is still hope.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Silent Intramurals

Sadly the XU Intramural Days of SY 2005-2006 was not that thrilling at all, well at least in my point of view. Maybe it was because of my great expectation of this special event that may have led me to think that the intramurals of this school year was bland. Sure there were these occasional shouts and screams when someone scored a goal but I really did not feel the spirit of teamwork, competitiveness, and perseverance. I could only feel the aura of boredom looming around the campus. It even shocked me to have experienced serenity and peace in the once overpopulated and earsplitting hang-outs of the campus.

Maybe the intramurals wasn’t boring after all. Perhaps the students already had fun staying at their homes pleasuring themselves from the break from classes. And for the few students who cheered, maybe it was already enough for them to soak in the scorching rays of the sun, cheering for the mud-covered players giving their all to win. Another very good reason why the intramurals wouldn’t be boring may be because I only saw the boring part of the intramurals. I’m sure that the Cheer Dance Competition at the end of the Intramural Days would be more exciting. Over all, the intramurals was not bad at all, it just needed some zest and more participation on the students' part.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

The Nerds as defined by Fr. Xrysz (I'm one of them!)

xrysz, sj: "Richie Fernando Class is "sui generis." One can understand them only from within. They will remain incomprehensible in the eyes of an outsider... They have their own place in history... they shall shape destiny... I am privileged to have some sporadic glimpses to the stirrings in their souls... the groaning of their desires... shedding of their tears... the whimpering of their fears... I am so blessed experiencing their unpretentious doubt, anger, cruelty... things that they show only to those whom they allow to be part of their "orbit existentialle." If "nerds" means "hopelessly studious, intellectual, speculative, page-eating individuals," these people do not deserve the title.... but if by "nerds" we refer to "people who experience life to the fullest, and learn to love their humanity with its pains and joys, failures and triumphs, folly and wisdom... and in the end choose that which is true, good and beautiful," then ~dara, rap, sweet, maxine, mikh, edgar, nerissa, bernie, kirbz, jo_blanc, mirandz, charm, cars, xtine, jboy, jowee, kc, dale, migz, nice, chikay, michael, edz, xta, deeka, neil, kaye, dj, eloise, mike, mark, karen, jiggy, demi, chee, popo, andre, sherrz, jux, blah, rosie, donnskie, 88, mampi, chloe, beaver, charles, richie~ad maiorem natus sum!"

ShIrox's very interesting profile an blog...

I saw a very interesting blog!
NEWSFLASH!!! Upon my very investigative investigation (wahahaha) I have found out who Shirox is. Here is his short profile...

shIr0x™
Age: 17
Gender: male
Astrological Sign: Scorpio
Zodiac Year:: Rabbit
Industry: Government
Occupation: IT Student / Drummer
Location: Singapore : East : Singapore
About Me: go to http://www.a-l-l-a-n.blogspot.com to find out.
Interests: Drumming reading blogging photography music computer games Vodka ...
Favorite Movies: Forrest Gump The Lion King The Bone Collector Back to the future Ray ...
Favorite Music: Dir En Grey X-japan Malice Mizer Taking back sunday Saosin Sum 41 Green Day Finch Transplants.

This short profile simply gives us a blurry picture of who this guy is. He's so cool! You should visit his blog and learn more. He's still a working student, he says that he's happy to recieve but his parents are not so happy about giving. He likes death as shown by this short but very disturbing and inspirational poem:

SET ME FREE
Love me, my razor blade. Peel my skin, make me scream. Sink so deep, make me weep. Cut my flesh, make me bleed. Take my life, set me free.

I for one am very moved by his words. He may use vulgarities in his blog but here is his reason: "It is part of life. why do your armpits stink? because it is part of life so learn to live with it. i have a fucking boring life. i have no life. i'm worse than a nerd who digs his books everyday. i don't even have anything to dig into. OMG."

A very intelligent mind indeed. Very hard working, a compoter addict (hehehe), an artist (music), and a true blood Asian.

An update of my life... from where I left of...

I don't really get to post these days. Nursing is so demanding. it takes your time, money, and strength! I'm already so stressed out that I don't think straight anymore. Well Nursing is ok at times, especially when I get high grades wahaha... I won't post my grades na... People might say I'm a bit showy but I love my midterm grades! I just don't know how my final grades would look like, I wish that somehow they would still look the same! I'm having a hard time consolidating my posts between my blog and the tataknerd.blogspot.com blog. I'll try to post on both every time i'm online. nothing really special is happening in my life... just study, sleep, eat, and test. With a dash of projects i haven't done yet! I feel that i'm only a step away from losing my self! I'm becoming crazier by the moment. I'll end my very late post here. I have to finish my IMP work that my group mates are not helping me in!
Here's the story... I still have my essays to knit together and proof read, damn groupmates! Grr! They always let me do all the work! I should resign as team leader and let them do the thinking and planning and I won't cooperate so that they could feel the difficulty I'm going through. As in if they really wanted to be journalists then they should have the passion for it. They should have the initiative to write articles about the output they got from their interviews and area works! And if I tell them to do something it turns out mediocre! Where is MAGIS!!! GRRRR! Imagine, they write an article or whatever and then they give it to me in a draft paper?! Hello! Do you expect me to encode your work for you! It would be Ok if I didn't have other articles to edit! I plan of telling them my problem but I don't think that they can handle my wrath!!!! (Horns growing out of head by now)... I could resign but I fear that our work will be shit. Sorry, I do hope my group mates don't get to read this... But not all my group mates are lazy and undependable. It so happens that we don't get to see each other during ordinary school days.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

What is happening to the nerds?

It's really is so depressing... What is happening to the xu nerds? Is there really an issue here that the XU nerds are just simply slipping away? Please, huwag naman. I can't bear to see you guys like this. Take me instead... What can I do to change all of this from happening? Buhuhuh... really so depressing...

Saturday, August 6, 2005

To all Nerdz, you've made me cry!





nerd no. 6


Today is a Friday night, well yesterday was. I’m alone in my room right now. I just want to thank you NerdZ for making me cry! Yes you did! But it’s not a bad thing too. Only the people I love and matters to me are the ones that can make me cry. They can either make me cry because they’ve hurt me or they made me extremely happy. Now, I thank all of you for making me cry because you all made me happy. Why do am I saying all this balderdash all of the sudden? Well, I just happened to read your palancas to me to our retreat at the Jesuit Retreat House in Malaybalay last February 18, 2005.

You know it doesn’t mean that I don’t love all of you just because I’m quite or just because I don’t talk to you often. Just because you people don’t hear me doesn’t mean I don’t think of you and long to see all of you. Believe it or not I do care for you all. You have become a part of me; you’re not just my past. Where ever I may go and whatever I do, the memories of you guys still haunt me. I don’t know if I’m obsessed with you people but I just simply miss you guys. I miss each and every one of the 48 NerdZ if I’m not mistaken. Well that’s 49 if you include Father Xrysz. How I ache to once again sit at my chair in the Fernando classroom and listen to Father Xrysz’s discussion on Morality once more.

I know that I’ve said this so many times that it already sounds so dull but I will never be tired to say it over and over again…. I just miss all of you and hope that you wouldn’t forget me. I know I won’t for each and every one of you has a special place in my heart. I will always be a Nerd in mind, heart, and action. To the people studying in far flung places I miss you and take care. To the NerdZ in XU hope we still greet each other, sorry if there are times I don’t see you in the hallway or something. We may have sad and even bad times together but there were also the good times.

Thank you for everything guys. Why am I feeling like this? I feel that I have a hang-over of my high school life. How ironic, I so wished to end my suffering in high school so much that I forgot that I also had extremely happy times.

To my lunch buddies how are you? I miss all of you… Especially Demi who I don’t hear from lately, hope you’re okay. Sorry if hotheaded ako sometimes but I really love your company. Michael, hi I’m so glad I still see you. Daryl sad and Miranda and Nerissa, you guys are so special to me.

Gosh I so want to make palancas again! Sige, I’ll e-mail nalang you guys. Or better yet Friendster. Basta I’ll spend my midterm break in getting in touch with you guys. Take care you all! This is Edgar na nagpaparamdam….





Internet Ecstacy drown the Drain!

Buhuhu! No more internet for me! I mean my dream of unlimited internet with a speed of 128 kb/s has gone down the drain! Why do I live so far away from civilization in the first place?! It's so ironic! I already have the right equipment for the Smart WiFi and I've already paid for the installation fee and for the one month subscription. The only thing is our damn location isn't reachable by the WiFi signal! Argg! Why! Why do I \have to stick with Sotelco's 28.8 kb/s at the most internet speed? Well, it is better than nothing but if you compared Sotelco's Php 100 for 10 hours of very slow internet speed to Smart WiFi's unlimited internet for Php 800/month of very fast internet speed it's so degrading!!! I mean depressing! Or both! We should really consider moving to the city! What is it here in bukidnon anyway? The nosy neighbors? The uncivilized, WiFi unreachable, hard to go to place? There must be a reason. Just don't know why... where is justice! Wahaha!

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Boring

I’m depressed right now. I’ve always been depressed. I feel that my life is a constant rerun. I really am bored, sick, and tired of my routines that are so monotonous. Sometimes, I just want to sit at one corner and don’t care anymore. Who cares about school or friends and family? Is this really what lies ahead for me? I feel so empty and I know and I feel that there is something out there that I need to be truly happy. I don’t want to do anything right now. I don’t want to think and I don’t want to move. I want to be like a rock so that I could not feel anything anymore. They say that this feeling is normal for teens because of all the hormones and changes that are occurring within me. It is also true that I have to find who I am. Everything is so confusing. I don’t understand myself right now. Sometimes I feel that I am already complete and that I don’t need anyone. I feel that I have everything planned out and that everything will be alright. But everything is not that easy. I want to jump of a cliff right now. I want to hide my self somewhere because I am not in the mood to be with anyone right now. My head is starting to hurt. I feel that I’m crazy, a madman. I can really relate to the anime, “Vision of Escaflawne.” I’m just like Hitomi. I just want to sleep and never wake up. When I am asleep I forget everything. I forget all the problems and pains that I have to go through every single day. I seem to vanish when I’m asleep and no one ever notices. But the question is do they even notice me when I’m awake? I feel that I wander and that I have no where to go. This must be the reason why I love taking walks in the evening. I’m not depressed when I’m alone because when I’m alone I don’t feel left out when I’m in a group. In fact, I prefer being alone because I can think more and reflect on things like I’m doing right now. But what am I longing? What do I need to make me whole? What is it that I look for? I don’t really understand.

Loyola Group

I really did not want to go to Manresa today for the community building and planning of the Loyola Group (FFP representatives). It’s a Monday and it’s not just any ordinary Monday, it’s a day that I can have a break from school. I really have no plans to do anything related to school today but I had to because I was chosen by my class to represent them. I could have easily declined but I felt that it was my responsibility and duty as a class officer to represent them. The assembly place was at 7:30 am at XU in front of Goldcrest so I had to wake up early because I went home to Bukidnon last Sunday. I was almost late and I was lucky to have caught up with the group when they were about to take a jeep to Manresa. But I did not regret coming a single bit because I really had fun. I think I even had an overdose of laughter when we were discussing our plans and projects because my group mates were really funny and some of them were clowns. We had fits of laughter when a group mate played with her words adding –ing to her words like outreaching, SM-ing, immersioning, and the likes. I met new and old friends and I learned a lot of things. I was reminded that IQ is not all that matters because EQ also plays a vital part. They were just crazy and their proposed programs were absurd yet interesting like moving into the Loyola House because we were the Loyola Group or just build ourselves our own Loyola House. What’s more fun during the whole activity was the eating part. The food was really good and I wanted to have second servings. Before going home, we went to SM and sang songs at Quantum and ate again. I could say that the activity was a great success and I can look forward to a more fun, more energetic, and more tiring activities and programs.

Blogging

I am so happy because I can now update my blog, or online journal, regularly. Usually, I only blog when I have something that really bothers me or when I have a chance to write but now I have to write every day for my English journal which is a good thing. My address for my blog is http://vincentbautista.blogspot.com and it is powered by Blogger. Blogger was introduced to me during my third year in high school in my Christian Humanism class. My teacher created a blog for my class and we really enjoyed it. Now, some of my classmates and I, have our very own blogs. My high school classmates from third year to fourth year, the NerdZ, even have our very own blog, http://tataknerd.blogspot.com, aside from our Yahoo Group. Blogging has already been a very popular way of expressing ourselves. Friendster even has offered a blogging service signifying the growth of online journals or blogs. This is a very good news since it will help teens and people young at heart to develop their writing skills. Blogger even offers to store pictures in your blog so that you can share your special moments with people. There are a lot of things that you can add to your blog aside from your own posts. You can add a chat box, links to other blocks, and you can even customize your blog that is if you know how to encode an html document. I wanted to do all of these things just like what my friends did but I completely forgot my computer language and programming lessons and to think I only had them in fourth year, shame on me. If I have time I guess I can take a look at my computer book and encode my own blog. I have to be careful though because one wrong command or code could mean a ruined blog.

NSTP - CWTS AB (IMP)

I am so glad to know that my old NSTP section, the CWTS AB, was not dissolved or anything. CWTS AB is not like any other CWTS sections because our class focuses more on journalism and documentation since it is an Information Management Program (IMP). It feels good to be a special class because as our KKP Volunteer, Don Manuelo Patrimonio, said we are special children. Last Saturday was very exciting because speakers came to our class and gave us a workshop on how to conduct interviews and personal investigations and we were also taught some basics to Photo Journalism. The interview and investigation part was not anymore new to us but the workshop on Photo Journalism was intriguing. We learned that there are three main rules or points to know in order to determine a good photo from a bad one. The first rule was that a good photo always had the subject at the side and is not focused at the center of the photo. The reason for this was that if the subject was at the center, the photo would look plain and normal. A subject that is at the side is given more emphasis and is more attractive. We were given picture cut-outs from newspapers and the side rule was really applied. The second rule was that the subject should not look at the camera and shows action. This rule is really important because photo journalism focuses more on telling a story through a picture taken. There is noting interesting in a picture of a security guard who is facing the camera and is doing nothing. It is more interesting and more information is conveyed if the security guard is actually doing an action like checking bags for explosives and weapons. The last rule is that the photo taken should be at the right point of view and should not be blurred. It is by common sense that we know that we shouldn’t take a picture of someone at the back or at the top of his head. A blurry picture is also good for the trash bin because it is uninteresting and the art and story in it is hardly seen. I am really looking forward for my next IMP class.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Chat Box

Yeah! I finally have a chat box! :) I don't know how I did it but I do have one now! I'm not really good at making websites and all. I forgot na all the programming language I learned in 4th year. I'm such a bad student... buhuhu! Please do check out my chat box!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Me and my stand on PDA

It is very disturbing when I see some students doing PDA or Public Display of Affection. I can bear to see people holding hands and all but what I saw was just disgusting. I really felt somehow offended to be an audience to such a display of such gross behavior that is so unbecoming of an Atenean. This really did not happen today but it just sprang out of my mind and I am clue less why this happened. I believe that it happened last Monday when I accompanied my friend and blockmate, Rhea, at PACT/S. I went to the fountain near the MBA Office and I waited in line. It so happened that there was this couple who was also in line. The girl was drinking and then the guy just grabbed the girls behind. I was the one who had this hysterical reaction which was a bit ironic for the girl just remained calm and just smiled at the guy. I froze for a moment and thought if they even realize that there was a minor behind them, and to think they were also minors. They were juniors I think. This event will really remind me not to engage in PDA if I am in a relationship, especially the type of PDA that I saw.

Cofee Matters!

I just love coffee! I really believe that coffee is a student’s best friend! With out coffee I wouldn’t have survived high school and hopefully I will also survive college with coffee. Why do I believe that coffee should be my best friend? Well for one thing I usually study at 1 in the morning so I should have something that would keep me awake and that’s coffee. I really love this style of studying because it really suits me. If I studied other than that time, I am either tired or sleepy. So I sleep early and wake up early. And if I finished my assignments and my studying early then I go back to sleep if there is still time. Coffee I simply love you! And I think many people would agree with me if I say that coffee is a necessity. Have you seen the cafes and coffee shops that just mushroomed everywhere? It is said that coffee is the most drank beverage around the world! It’s great that coffee lovers are ensured of a steady supply of the heavenly concoction which is coffee.

Online Love Part 2

Online love is very intriguing. Can you really find love on the internet? Online love is when you join into a certain website or web community where you meet people who have the same likes and dislikes as you do. Another way is through online chatting. It may be only by chance that you will meet a person of your dreams but does that mean it’s destined? I only wonder, if finding love or friends on the internet doesn’t work, why do people continue to support this? Let’s take Friendster as a case in point. People always add you if you are physically attractive or if your profile captivates them, but do they even send you a message or anything? And to think they are called “friends” but they don’t even know the person and have no plans to either. The main reason of adding a person as a friend is for them to have friends who look good. I may be one of these suspects at times but this is how online life is. There are a lot of people and they have different reasons why they join in these so called online communities so if you want to find a person who is really interested in knowing you better just don’t keep your hopes up. Chances of meeting a person of your type are slim. Despite everything I said, I did find friends who I was able to really communicate with and express my feelings. Plus, it’s really easier to communicate with someone who you don’t really see face to face, that is if you’re an introvert like me. But I think the main thing that we have to look into is the thing called destiny or synonymously known as fate.

I hate dancing!

I really hate dancing! I am not inclined into dancing at all and I’m better off at singing. I really don’t like aerobics. It’s so frustrating because we have to perform aerobics but we don’t even have time to practice. AHSE is not really a course that conveniently offers free time for we go home every night at 6:15 pm or 6:50 pm. We can still practice but we don’t have any energy left. We have to go home and do our homeworks, read our notes, and sleep to have energy for the following day. Practicing at that late hour would be fine and it would even work if and only if I was with group members who are dedicated to aerobics and will willingly spend time to practice but the problem is I’m not with these kind of people. I’m doomed! I will fail and lose my scholarship because of PE. I hate PE too! I’m not really this active person who wants to run around and sweat. Well I do love to run around at times but I don’t want to do push-ups and I definitely hate playing basketball. I do try to like PE but I just don’t. Why is PE needed anyway and why is it important? I asked this question to my PE teacher and she answered that we have to have PE because it is already an integral part of education. But I wonder how essential it is to education, we only have it once a week and I’m not really becoming more fit to be honest. But why should I be so negative anyway? Why do have a lot of questions? The answer is I don’t know it’s just the way I am. But to tell you the truth, I would rather have biology the whole day than have PE for one hour.

Me and My Fantasy Worlds

I am really fixated into fantasy role-playing games and anime. I really want to live in a world that is different from our world now. I want to live in a place filled with wondrous things and I want to be someone who is strong and have special abilities that I can use to defend my kingdom or people. I want a world were I can really be free to do things that I want. There are times that I believe that there must be more to life than my life now so I just imagine things. In my world I have no limits because I am not just any ordinary mortal. In the real world, I am bombarded with so many problems that give me heartaches and headaches so I just want to forget them and just go to my world. That’s why I spend most of my time playing games because I tend to forget the world around me. I know that I shouldn’t do this in excess but it’s what makes me happy. I do have a social life but I find more fulfillment with my computer than with the people I usually hang out with I’m sorry to say. I am even afraid that I’ll grow up to be a serial killer because they said that most serial killers start with fantasies before they actually commit murder. But I doubt it that I’ll become a serial killer because I don’t have time to kill anyone. No I’m just fooling around. As long as my conscience is clean and I’m not hurting anyone I’ll still continue with my love for anime and computer games.

Sleeping More and Education

I really need to sleep more. I’m always tired and just want to sleep. It’s not that I’m lazy or anything but college life is really demanding. I’m not complaining because even high school was like this, hard and frustrating, but gladly I was able to survive. I think I’m already becoming an insomniac. There are times that I only sleep for two hours because either I have to study or I can’t sleep. I do have free times, Saturday night and the whole Sunday but it still is occupied with assignments and study periods. That means there really is no rest day for a student. Study, study, study is all I do but amazingly I don’t really get A’s. It’s frustrating really when I only get A-, B, or sometimes even lower marks when I really took time to study for that subject but that only means I have to study harder. I think I’m starting to become a nerd. Wait, I am already a nerd. I’m thankful that I only have to wait and bare all of this for 4 more years because after that I’m off to work. I really prefer the moving activities rather than sitting down and answering stuff. There is a flaw in my plan though. Do I still want to continue my studying and proceed to medicine after I graduate? That means 10 more years at most of studying! Ok, is it me or do I sound that I hate studying? Well my counselor did tell me that I rated the education part of my psychological exam very low so does that mean I hate school? Well I don’t really hate school it’s just that stress gets me sometimes. I am glad to be in school and I sometimes think of those people who want to go to school but can’t. I should really be thankful to be given a chance to receive education. But education is not really a thing to be given to a selected few because I believe that everyone has a right to education. Even if school is difficult and demands all my time and attention, I still love it for I know that with it I will become a more competent student. And I’m lucky that I’m not getting just any kind of education for I am given a chance to be formed by Jesuit education. Jesuit education will mold me holistically into a person with competence, conscience, and commitment, a true man for others.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

www.go-quiz.com

As stated above you should really try this site. I found this in Cheenees Blogger and it's really amusing. It generates stuff saying who you are or what your personlity is based on your name and tests. I don't know if it's true but the results are applicable to me! Hahaha!

I so Love www.go-quiz.com!!!





How to make a vincentb88
Ingredients:


3 parts competetiveness


5 parts arrogance


5 parts empathy
Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add fitness to taste! Do not overindulge!

From go-quiz.com!

VValiant
IIntense
NNatural
CCrazy
EEntertaining
NNormal
TTrustworthy
BBold
8
8

Name / Username:



Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

My Warning Label from www.go-uiz.com

UCAUTION
IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP VINCENTB88 AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.

Username:


From Go-Quiz.com

Online Friend/Love Finders

It's amazing what loneliness can do to a person... Didi you know that I have quite a number of accounts in sites where you supposedly meet and make friends with people? I have hi5, friendster, neatvibe, sms.ac, and currently espinthebottle (just add www....com except for sms.ac). Join me! Hehehe... But honestly it does not work... chat is better. If you don't care about physical appearances go for chats, but you can go into eye-ball chats if you believe the looks is what matters. Try eye-ball chat at eyeball.com I think or Yahoo Messenger!

Theater Arts

You know what I joined or auditioned rather in a school organization related to the theatrical arts, I so sucked! I did not act, I simply said words with feelings! Hahaha, but doesn't matter if I don't get picked anyway since I will be having a lot of things in my hand like my studies for once. It's really so so... uh... it really asks a lot from you, time, effort, and everything. But it's not that stressful, I had more stress in high school as compared to this. I just wish that I can really do my best and get high grades as well since I need at least B - to maintain my scholarship, half scholarship to be exact. Right now I'm at our computer lab waiting for my next subject, Biology. I don't even have time anymore to have fun, well not that much time that I was accustomed of. Well, Life is still good.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Love this Song by HALE!

Take me as you are,

Push me off the road the sadness,

I need this time to be with you

I'm freezing in the sun;

I'm burning in the rain

The silence;

I'm screaming,

Calling out your name.

And i do reside in your light

Put out the fire with me and find

Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles

That's what i'll do if we say goodbye.



To be is all i gotta be

And all that i see

And all that i need is time

To me, the life you gave me

The day you said goodnight.



The calmness in your face

That i see through the night

The warmth of your light is pressing unto us

You didn't ask me why

I never would have known oblivion is falling down.

And i do reside in your light

Put out the fire with me and find

Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles

That's what i'll do if we say goodbye.



To be is all i gotta be

And all that i see

And all that i need is time

To me the life you gave me

The day you said goodnight.



If you could only know me like your prayers at

night

Then everything between you and me will be all

Right.



To be is all i gotta be

And all that i see

And all that i need is time

To me the life you gave me

The day you said goodnight.



She's already taken,

She's already taken

She's already taken me

She's already taken,

She's already taken

She's already taken me.

The day you said goodnight

Friday, June 17, 2005

Join Me at Neatvibe!

Vincent Bautista has invited you to join his community at Neatvibe, where you and Vincent can network with each other's friends.



Neatvibe is an online community that connects people through networks of friends. Once you join Neatvibe, you will be automatically connected to Vincent, and all of his friends.



Click on the link below to join Neatvibe:

http://www.neatvibe.com/invite.jsp?Rid=261f6f27b1048b9105ac7c08344

Virus Alert!

If someone by the name of dvorak@yahoo.com wants to add you to your list don't accept it. It's a virus. Tell everyone on your list because if somebody on your list adds them you will get it too. Tell everyone on your list not to open anything from angell11, tewwtuler, and sassybitch. lt is a hard drive killer and a very horrible virus. Please pass this on to everyone on your list. We need to find out who is using these accounts. Sorry for the inconvenience. Right click on your group name of your buddy list and click Send Message To All. Copy and paste this message.



I really hate people who send viruses and all to other people. It's not funny and it's definetely very offensive, It destroys not only important files but also our computer. This is a serious crime and yes it is against the law. Do not open any attachments in e-mails sent to you by strangers because they may likey contain viruses.

Wednesday, June 8, 2005

College Life Update

College life is fun! I have never had so many brakes in my life! I have all the time to do assignments and study during breaks BUT I seem to be having too much fun with my friends that I forget to study na or I get too lazy... buhuhuh. I wish that I'll sort this out. I shouldn't see my friends during breaks so that I can concentrate on my studies. Hey college is no small deal! It's very expensive and failing it is not an option. Failing will never be an option, ever! I wish that I'll finish college honors or no honors. But I'll still do my best to get higher grades. The feeling of graduating with honors is euphoric! Euphoric... wonder what this means, I'm just using it because it sounds good. Anyway college here I come! Veni Vedi Vici! I came, I saw, and I will conquer!

Never Do Anything When You're Mad

You know what I've learned something very important today... Never act when you're mad because the tendency is that your testosterones will work and you can't control what your saying or doing. This is one good realization I've learned from my friend. From now on I will be calm and peacefull... hopefully.

Saturday, June 4, 2005

My WORST Day at XU

This event took place this morning of Saturday, June 4, 2005. I was at XU and I was going to get my ID. I was glad to go to school this Monday and I was even excited. It didn't bother me that the 1,000 (I think) Freshmen students had to make a line to get their ID's. There were even only two tellers who facilitated the handing out of the ID's by the way. Ok it was hot, crowded, and confusing but I still smiled and said to my self that I should sacrifice a little because this will end quickly. A couple of minutes later and our line was moving slower than a snail, literaly. Thye people then went balistic when someone said that not all ID's would be given that day. The people rushed to the blackboard were the names of the people who will receive their ID's that day, People pushed and squeezed just to search for their names. The blackboard was almost tipped over because of the crowd who wants to get a glimpse.
Despite the crowd, the long line, the hot sun, everything was going well when all of the sudden there were already three lines! What's the big deal with the three lines? Remember there were only two tellers so where does the extra line go? To one of the tellers specifically the A-L window. The other window was M-Z, you had to go to the window with the letter where your surname starts. Unfortunately I was with the A-L window with the two lines. All of the sudden the teller said to make one line. The guy infront of me didn't know how to converse with the teller because he might be shy or confused as I was. I told her that there were two lines to begin with. The crowd was so enormous that we couldn't make head or tails of the lines. I tried to reason with her, I asked her which line we should follow because both lines were already very long and it would be unfair for both of our parts to break up one line. I asked the people if it was ok if both lines cooperated and just go to the teller at intervals and both lines agreed. But still this teller was so closed-minded and stubborn. I reasoned with her but she completely ignored me so I was overcome with my irritation and maybe it was just because of the hot temperature that I lost my calmness. I admit I did raise my voice, but to a right level so I would be heard. I did respected them and addressed them with courtesy saying "Ma'am". There was one of the assistants who was more open to the problem and indeed realize that there was really a problem. She agreed with our plan but the teller would not. One line... what line would be dissolved I asked. She replied "Kamo na mag sabot..." but didn't you listen to me at all? We already decided to do an interval. The rest is a blank to me. After I got my ID I left the chaos and the heat of things.
Someone told me that people were calling me names like "Dramatic Person" or "Scene Maker" and some even tagged me gay because of my accent and expressions.
If it is wrong to argue and talk to fix things then fine I won't do anything! I quit! If it is so wrong to fix a chaotic scene with unity then fine I won't do anything of that! If it is wrong to speak out your mind then I will shut my mouth and let things as they are, I won't try to change things, it is impossible to make a difference at all. If I get laughed at instead of being supported then fine I don't care. I'm really confused. What ius the right thing to do? What would an Atenean do?
I admit that I did make a scene but it was after I was ignored. I DID KEEP MY CALM but lost it when I was IGNORED. She was right for following the rules, we should have made one line. But how? What line would be dissolved, we had waited so long and then we would be at the back of another line? We did solve that problem when we agreed to make intervals when we approach the "teller" or person-in-charge.
No one spoke up. The person in front of me did not speak up. What would happen? What happened after I spoke and made a fool of my self?
Ok I suddenly realized that we should have made one line with the interval thing but was I wrong to speak up? I did not mean to make a scene and that is the last thing I would do. But I was ignored she did not reply and did not tell us what to do. We were in chaos because we lacked the information. There were no signs of what to do and there wasn't any student assistants or leaders outside assisting the crowd.
I may be out of line sometimes that is why...
I apologize for my actions. They were immature and not right at all. I should just go with the flow and just follow what happens.
I have to admit I do feel bad and I don't know anything at all. All of the things I beleived in flew away and are nonsense. I don't know what to do anymore. Sorry...

Sunday, May 29, 2005

A Poem That Will Touch Every Soul

Last February 18 to 25 of 2005, my class the 4 – Richie Fernando were at the Jesuit Retreat House in Malaybalay City for obviously their retreat, our retreat rather. Here we knew our selves more and our classmates, our friends, more. Tears were shed, thanks and sorry were uttered, and letters from the people who loved us were read. One poem that I would never forget and had made an impact to me was of Ma’am Shals, the Jedi Knight. Ma’am Shals defender of the weak and upholder of the light, may the Force be with her!
Any way as I was saying, she gave us a poem or a chain of poems that really brought me to tears because it really reflected what I feel inside. Here is the said poem…

AFTER A WHILE
After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open,
With the grace of an adult and not the grief of a child.

And you begin to build all your roads on today for tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to give you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong. And you really do have worth.

AFTER “AFTER A WHILE”
After ‘after a while’
You want to hold a hand not to chain a soul but to enjoy its company, and you want someone’s lips to kiss, not because you are lonely but because you are happy, and you want to give presents and you want to make promises.

After ‘after a while’
You begin to accept your defeats like an adult, but unlike a child, will want someone to listen and care, and you want someone who will build roads with you today so maybe you can pave the way for your future together.

After ‘after a while’
You want someone’s sunshine and warmth, but also accept the rain and the cold, and you want to give flowers picked from your own garden.

And when your garden is picture perfect, you want it to be more than a picture even if it means having to be imperfect because you want someone in it to stay and to live. Then you’ll see that there is such a thing as love… and that you were made to live in someone else’s garden… and you’ll know that there is more to life than your self.
AND NOW…
You realize that no matter how tightly you hold, if you’re meant to let go, you can.
And then you will understand that loves gives you reasons to understand even the most complicated situations.
And you will grow older believing that just because you have convictions doesn’t mean your right.

You will remember lips because of the smiles that made your day, the words that touched your soul, not only because of the sweet kisses.
And as you graciously accept defeat and absorb the meaning the meaning of lessons learned,
You feel that you are finally being the person you never thought you’d be.

So armed with courage, strength and confidence, you will face the world ahead on…
With or without an army behind you.
Because you know your worth and that alone is an armor.
With more hearthbreaks you will cry. But after every hearthache you will rise.

SOON…
The whole world will be your garden, and sometimes you need the weeds as much as the flowers. For it asks you to be patient and persevere. It knows your worth. It knows that you dare to love even those who are not lovable. So grow with the weeds, and care for them as you do the flowers. For life is a garden… it takes long to make it beautiful. But it’s always worth the wait… c”,)

The Stolen Voice

I really love singing. Ever since I was a child I’ve always dreamt of being a singer. Once I even made a “recording” with my favorite cousin, I wonder where she is right now. I believe that I can sing, some people think I am a good singer but sometimes I just think I am too ambitious to even be able to sing a note.
Singing for me is a good way to express my self. Music inspires me and strengthens me. It revives me and makes me believe in what seems impossible. My sadness, happiness, and mostly any feelings I may have. I do this mostly when I’m alone because my voice is always stolen from me when I want to speak. I am always held down when I want to stand up for my self. People underestimate me and even step on my rights. I want to fight but I just let it go because I know it’s useless. I always lose in the end.
There was one very depressing moment when my voice was really taken away from me. I remember it like it just happened yesterday and the wounds are still aching. It was one cold December and I was a sophomore back then. We were having this Christmas Carol competition and of course I was excited because I was ready to join in this competition and win it like last year. I was so full of spirit but was all sucked down the drain when I found out that I wasn’t included in the singers. I was crushed! Like what the? We didn’t even have an audition like last year with our other music teacher and she was able to pick the singers already? I then l realized that the audition was last times test, the National Anthem and School Hymn Singing Quiz. It so happened that I did not really sing that time. I thought that she was only testing if we knew the lyrics and what’s worse I had a partner who distracted me. She did not tell us that it was an audition!
Fine I should have always been in my performance level and always sang with my heart no matter how the song sounded (no offense to our National Anthem and School Hymn). I was sulking and I couldn’t stand a night with out thinking of the fact that I wasn’t going to sing. Was it because I suck? My other music teacher thought likewise and I had my third voice baritone pitch. But all of that was trash for her. Oh I loathed that second year music teacher of ours! I so hated her and I still do now. You know what added to my misery? There was this guy who was picked to sing but never really wanted to sing in the first place. He did not join in the practices and this really pissed me off! I wanted to give him a piece of my mind! I wanted to tell him how lucky he was and I should have had his place if he didn’t want to sing. I deserved that place!
I was placed as the flute player which “she” said in the later days was unnecessary. So I wasn’t able to sing and I wasn’t able to perform. My other unfortunate “musicians” were so gleeful and happy about the idea but not me. Oh no! I was a performer! The stage was my home I belonged there! But to my misery and beaten self, this wasn’t enough. We were forced to watch the contest which brought me so much pain. I cried and cried the whole concert. I didn’t care anymore what the people think. I felt so low so useless. I felt a part of my soul torn and burned to ashes. I remembered the nights that I sulked and sobbed. My classmates asked me what’s wrong and I gave them a lame excuse, I had to do research for our project and now I can’t do it. I swore that I would never sing especially in our school. But I love singing! And yup I never did have a chance to sing a solo. I really was sad during our graduation. The only thing that I wanted to do was to sing my soul out to everyone. Why did the other people who were worse singers than I was given the chance? Why was my voice stolen from me? All I wanted to do was sing. And in that graduation, now even, I realized that I had graduated with out fulfilling one of my goals, one of my dreams, to sing. I did perform on stage for our school play, Hatol ng Guhit na Bilog (The Caucasian Chalk Circle) but singing was different and I only had a small role (but they said there were no small roles, only small actors… like ouch!). My voice was stolen from me. Every now and then I still imagine my self singing on our stage. This will haunt me for the rest of my life. I guess I was never born to sing.

Identity Crisis

I guess we do all have a picture in mind when we hear the word identity crisis. I guess all teens are faced with this question, well in my opinion though. Who are we and what are we? Why are we here? Where are we? What will we be in the future? Is there a future? What will happen next? Will everything be all right?
All these questions keep on barraging me and are making me insane. It then brings me to the question “What Do I Want”? Oh no! Is this a bad case of Down syndrome? Ok not really down but depression or post-depression even. Why am I depressed in the first place? Is it because I am faced with so many fears of the unknown? Can’t take this anymore, I give up!

Bench Model

You know what? I am a big fan of the Online Community we call Friendster! Yes I am and I love meeting new people and it really feels good if someone invites you to be his/her friend. It really is easy to meet these real people “virtually”. But I’m not going to talk about that.
I have noticed that every good looking guy or guys who think they’re good looking always address to themselves as the “Bench Models”. But hey I have to agree they do look like models and are of model quality but why Bench? Is Bench really the “In-Thing” of our Fashion Era? Well I am also a Bench fan and I love the “Love Ko Bench” shirt but why Bench? Why not a Penshoppe model or a Guess model? Why not model other line of products?
Wait a minute… Why am I always asking these questions? Why do I make a big hysteria of these things? Beats me I don’t understand myself either. Well just shouting out my ideas.

What Do I Want? What Do We Want?

Right now I am very confused. Before I had a clear view of my wants and the goals I wanted to achieve. But I am suddenly struck by the reality that I am in a void. I don’t know what I want in life anymore. Everything seems to be a monotonous re-run of what I call my life.
Before I had all of these things that I wanted and thought I wanted. Only to find out in the end that I never really wanted these and it would never really make me happy in the end. What would make me happy? What do I want? What do we all want in life?
I thought that getting what I want was easy. There are things that what ever I do, I will never get. There are things that I have sacrificed a lot for but seem pointless and worthless in the end.
I don’t know what I really want and really need. But don’t be fooled that what I mean is of things that this material world will offer. What I speak of is one that means more. I speak of the spiritual aspect of life, things that relates to the soul and true happiness. I don’t know. It all seems so blurry and all I can make of is snapshots of odd figures and signs.
What lies for me ahead? What is my destiny and what is my fate if all are pre-written? All is a chain of questions.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Using Cellphones and Social Status Issues

One time I was riding a pubic transportation when my phone rang. I received a text message and I replied. Again my phone rang and this continued up to three messages. All of a sudden this girl beside me said “samok ba!” This is a expression used in the Philippines to show extreme irritation. But I was shocked and felt attacked, which I really was. That time I just kept quite and minded my own business and then went down at my stop. If I wasn’t in my good mood she would receive a good bashing.
I was thinking why would she be irritated? I was practicing phone etiquette, my ring volume was not to the maximum level, I did not raise my phone to show off and in fact I was hiding it from view. It just happens that she was at my side and she saw it. And it comes to me is this jealousy? Does my Nokia 6260 threaten her? Does my Ryan Cabrera Shame on Me true tone a way of saying she’s cheap? If these things give off these expressions then I’m sorry. But since when is it wrong to use a phone that you really like and the tone that you like? I never heard of a Presidential Decree or a Republic Act stating so.
Does this mean that if she had an old phone with basic lcd and monophonic ring tones then I should get that type of phone too? Where is democracy in that? If she’s poor I have to be poor? If she suffers I have to suffer too? This is just the manifestation of Filipino Crab Mentality. When one crab is about to escape, the other crabs tend to pull it down. She has a serious problem and she really needs professional help.
I did not do anything wrong and if living a life of style and luxury was wrong then they should arrest every businessmen, every professionals, every working citizens who work so hard just to provide for their families and acquire certain items as their trophies of their life’s work. I don’t have a job yet yes but this phone is not in any way meant to say I’m rich and you’re poor. This phone has been a dream for me and it is also a gift from my mom for finishing high school. And believe me I worked so hard just to strive to achieve excellence and this phone is a sign of that. I am not guilty of anything because this is a free country and I can use and buy (in the future) anything may it be luxurious or not and I won’t feel guilty that other people might not be doing well as me. It’s not my fault that they are like that and maybe neither theirs. No one chooses to be poor right? But if they can’t eat three times a day, should I not eat three times a day too? Sure I’m willing to share my blessings, but I can’t give them what I don’t have and I can’t give them the things that I’ve worked for for my family.
If you’re saying that I shouldn’t have used my phone in public then I ask you what is the use of a portable telephone when you can’t avail of its convenience. Do you mean I have to go to the bathroom just to use my phone? Do I have to be ashamed to have a great phone? I am not stepping on anyone’s rights so I am free to do things I want.

Life as a Writer

I really look up to the great writers such as J.K. Rowling, J.R. Tolkien, and the other writers through out history. Writing is really hard! Very hard indeed! They’re so good to think of a plot and all and they can imagine different scenarios and you really are drawn into the story for its realism. I try to write stories but I can’t write a 1000 page novel or even a 50 page one. It’s really hard to sustain the story and to put twists and excitement to the branches that come from the main plot. I really admire writers their works are art. You know even writing an essay is quite hard, you have to plan the flow of ideas the topic and how to make it interesting. I really want to write but I lack the effort I guess and the inspiration. I do have a story I’m working on but it’s so bloody and full of hatred. I’m still thinking if I should post it. I’m going to work with it maybe improve it and we’ll see. Until next time, I the Writer have to resign.

Online Life a Bust

My online life is quite static right now. I do have internet connection but what’s the use? Our internet service provider (ISP) is useless, it does not provide internet because for a long time now their lines are up and running but they can’t figure why people can’t connect through the internet by dial-up. This is the provincial technology so we can’t expect much. Anyway I’m online right now, I had to travel 1 hour to the nearest city to use a computer, poor me.

Let’s Talk About Love

As the song goes by the Soul Siren, Nina, love does move in mysterious ways. What is love by the way? Is it mere attraction between the opposite sex, or in these days same sex? Is love merely an attraction because a study does prove that good looks really count. A good and fit body is attractive because this is a sign of good genes, and in our living world spreading good genes is everything. I guess your thinking this is a scientific essay or some sort but nope you’re wrong.
For a very close friend of mine which we will hide by the name “Jynx” love really works in mysterious ways. Love does great things for her. Love empowers her and it makes her strong to reach her dreams. She also said that Love makes her go through Sh*t (she said it herself) but she is willing to go through it because no matter how hard it is to keep a healthy love life it is fulfilling.
I guess Jynx’s case is true love. But what is true love? Is it the love we see on TV? Is there a case-type love in the first place? I believe that we are prone to these love-sick symptoms because of continuous exposure to soap operas and romantic teleseryes like Full House and Lovers in Paris. Their love seems so perfect right? Them against the world, nothing will stop their love but does this really happens in the real world? Do we love because we’re lonely? Do we love because we have to for our so-called reputations?
It has come to my senses that it has been a frequent topic in high school if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend? Honestly what’s up with this? Is it a social norm to get a BF or GF in high school and if you don’t you’re not normal? A parent (a father of course) of someone once asked me if I already had a girlfriend. I wanted to spit at his face, not really just exaggerating. I wanted to reply whether my mission and main goal in high school was to learn or to get my self a girlfriend. Well, he must be proud of his son who is really successful at this trade, he really has a lot of girls to choose from, and if he’s lucky he can finish fourth year high school as a side job.
Again back to my silly questions. Why do we love? Is it fate? Is it because we believe they’re our soul mates? But our soul mates, according to a term paper by a Nerd (my classmate), are usually of the same sex. But this is the future right? Same sex relationships are not new but what is normal anyway? Who can say that these are the norms? Are we so perfect that we can set up standards? This is really a debatable issue.
Why do we love and who do we love? Are we destined to someone or is it all up to chance? It’s really hard to define love don’t you think? When I was ten years old I defined love as the fast beating of our hearts when we ace the person we have a crush on. Now love for me is a complex mystery.
Or we could just forget about thinking and stick to my spread the genes theory, the attraction thing.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Nokia S60 Themes, Apllications, and Games

I'm really a newbie at this stuff but I recommend 2 sites. www. spotok.com and www.ricu-mobile.com. Spotok may require you to posts at their forums in order to download but it sure is worth the time.

Web Information: Reliable or Not?

I am a proud owner of a Nokia 6260. Hey it's a wonderful phone! I don't want to advertise or anything, you can go to www.nokia.com and search for the specifications and the amazing capabilities of this phone. It kust bothers me that a site that I found said that it doesn't have radio, an MP3 player, and it's only has polyphonic tones. Well it's wrong! Totally wrong! I forgot the site and I don't want to destroy that site, I just want to say that the Nokia 6260 has every thing that I have mentioned. My warning to all, do not always beleive what a site might be advertising or implying! Make sure that the sight is reliable. The internet may not always be the source of right information if we don't know were to find this right information. It is recommended to go to trusted sites or sites were many have already tried and tested that site. Just a friendly reminder from the friendly me.
Here is my desktop. I'm sorry I have nothing important to do right now so I'm just posting this pic of my desktop. Hey I find my desktop beautiful!

Vincent rules!

Sunday, May 8, 2005

Out With Bureaucracy

I hate being sick. Right now I have fever... I don't want to go to our hospital, I don't know why but being in our hospital here in Bukidnon makes me feel worse. Imagine your sick already and then you have to wait in line, wait, and again wait... by the time I have to see the doctor, I might already have fainted! It really is tiring to go through too nuch bureaucracy! Even with enrollmet suring school, you have top pass through so much red tape and all. Why not just give the forms, pay, then leave. Wouldn't life be easier if things were organized but ofcourse not that organized that it would lead to red tape. I hate bureaucracy! You never get things done...fast!

Saturday, April 30, 2005

New E-mail

My old e-mail is being filled with newsletters, chain-mails, and pretty much spam and junk. So I ask everyone who wants to contact me and wants me to get to read their messages, abd so it won't get lost among my other junk mails, please e-mail me at my new e-mail add, vincentbautista@eml.cc You want e-mail that offers 10 MB storage space for free and aside from Yahoo Mail? Try www.eml.cc !

Civilization Has Reached Bukidnon!

Yeah you heard it right! Civilization Has Reached Bukidnon! We, I, now have internet connection!!! Right now, I'm encoding this blog to show happy I am. Do you know how many years I've waited for this?! But unfortunately, our Internet Service Provider (ISP) doesn't provide a Direct Satelite Link (DSL) meaning we have to Dial-Up and our internet connection speed is quite acceptable yes, but not fast. I hate it! But we must always look on the bright side, just a couple of years and maybe we can already have DSL connection. But I still love it! Now I don't have to stay late at internet cafe's to park (thanks to Richie for this term) and all. But there are some times that Dial-up is simply impossible wonder why. But I'm still happy hahaha! Never mind me... peace! Ciao! Wonder I started using the "Ciao" thing...

Wednesday, April 6, 2005

College Here I Come

I can’t believe that I’m already a college student… well going to be anyway. I’m going to take up Nursing as a pre-med course and I can’t wait to start! Pretty surprising since I was the one who prayed to graduate from high school so that I can get rest from studying.
But I had enough rest and in fact summer vacation is boring me to death! I want to study! At least in college I’m assured that I can use what I learn in my future job and not some very hard subject that I will not even think about in the future.
I really want to be a suma cumlaude so that I can make up for my high school dilemma. I could have at least received a silver medal if it wasn’t for physics which is really pretty simple once you get the hang of it, which means remedial classes. Hey, I even got a 100% percent mark once in a quiz and mind you, every quiz counts!
I can imagine my self in front of the school’s soccer field sitting in one of the benches memorizing the parts of the muscular system of the human body. I just wish my laziness does not overwhelm me. Oh well, there are always the quiet hours of dawn and a good cup of coffee to really make me want to study. In the crack of dawn, no one is around to bother me! What a relief! Blabby people are a scholastic’s nightmare!
I’ve got to go. I’ve got the urge to utter a villainous laugh! Hahahaha!

Never Trust Anyone but Yourself

In my sixteen years of existence in this world, I have learned one very important lesson that will probably change me for the rest of my life. In this very cruel world, you have to learn never to trust anyone. You can never rely on anyone because in the end, you will only have yourself to be with you and fight with you until the end.
Do you think that they would still stick with you when you and your boat sink? No, these people you call friends are not stupid and will bail at the single moment they get the chance. The only reason that these friends stay with you is either they need something from you or that they have no one else to go with.
You have to learn to fight and be independent. In the end, you will only have yourself because you will learn that when the going gets tough you have to be ready for good-byes, sorry, and even unexplained disappearances.
This is the truth, true friendship and people who will die for you are just characters of our very deep desires. We want these people to be real and be with us, but the truth is they’re only found in fairy tales. They’re just fiction and products of our imagination. In the real world, it’s every man for him self. Greed comes first in every human beings and this is their nature. Self survival comes first than other’s welfare. Do you know the major cause of death/injuries during accidents such as fires/earthquakes? The answer is the people them selves. They’re too busy saving themselves that they push and shove and even step on people just to stay alive. This is very true in our society today. It especially happens here in the Philippines, if you ride jeepneys, do you think that these people will move for you? No! They will move alright, they will move nearer to the entrance so you have to sit at the farthest end and be careful not to fall forward because these inconsiderate jeepneys drivers will not wait for you to take your seat.
They want change; they say that they aren’t treated right! Humph! Humans! How can they say such things when they them selves are the cause of the sufferings of others? The “Pay-it-forward Theory” does work and we see its effect every day.
What I am saying is that people are so selfish that you wouldn’t really trust your life to them. I don’t know why but there are some people who want to be martyrs and believe that there is this greater good in everyone that’s why they believe that they should just forget the pain that people cause them.
We have to see and accept that the world is a cruel and cold place to live in. There are these people who are so full of love and this blinds them from the awful truth that the world is near to its destruction. The real world is very dangerous and scary. One must learn the tricks of the trade to survive. You have to be more powerful to fight back so that they will not be able to hurt you. If you can’t run and hide from them, it is better if you faced them and play their game, but with one condition: you have to beat them!!!
But I am thankful though that I have one true friend. And she will never leave me, if ever she does she is the only person that I will truly understand and respect.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

XUHS Community Thank You!

XUHS Community Thank You
NOTE: This thank you letter/essay is very long; in short I just want to thank all the people who know me for caring for me and for loving me. I want them to know that even if I haven’t showed it much, I really care about them and I will miss them when I will leave XUHS.
I really haven’t expressed my self at all for my four years stay at Xavier University High School, my second home, and my beloved high school. Maybe the cause is fear of rejection, shyness, or simply fear of the unknown. As a very good friend said, people you love hurts you. You see when you love you open your self and leave your self vulnerable, a sitting duck, helpless. When you care and love someone, that person can easily use this to destroy you. Isn’t it more painful when a loved one hurts you? If it is just some useless person who you don’t care for you you can easily say, “The hell with you!” But if ever a loved one hurts you, the wound would really be deep, it would be unbearable, and would leave a scar which you will carry through the passing of time.
These are my fears, I don’t want to get hurt because I have loved so many times and just ended up crying in some dark, cold, lonesome corner. But I have to seize this opportunity to really say what I want to say for it all maybe too late, it is kind of late now though but who cares. I just have to remember that it is better to be hurt than to have never felt love in your life. Without love, success, power, and fortune would mean nothing. Emptiness and sadness would be the feeling that would be prevalent.
Right now, I will reveal my true self and break the masks I wear to protect my self from all forces. I am willing to love and leave my self vulnerable and unprotected. I want to thank everyone who made my life better. Here it goes…
I am really happy and proud to have studied at XUHS for I feel and know for a fact that XUHS had formed me into who I am now. I will forever be faithful and loyal to my school. All the great things that took place in my life happened here at XUHS, good and bad, happy and sad, wonderful and terrible, amazing and shocking.
It is also in XUHS that I met the most wonderful people and of course there are always antagonists but I forgive them and I accept them back in my heart. Let’s begin with my 1st year at XUHS, the entry of the innocent and pure me to the new and huge world of XUHS. I want to thank my caring and very motherly moderator and integrated science teacher, Mrs. Conchita Gomez who always supported the class and really took good care of us helping us adjust to the high school life. Mrs. Gomez is such a wonderful person; I don’t know how to thank her enough. Of course I also want to thank my classmates, the students of 1-B, 1-St. Lorenzo Ruiz, I haven’t showed my feelings but I love you guys and that I’m really proud of us and all our class achievements! I also want to thank my 1st year teachers, Ma’am May Flores-awakened the singer in me (English & Music), Ma’am Manampan-you made me want to learn math more (algebra), Sir Miguel Salido-you made me laugh (PE), Ma’am Irene Reymundo-inspired me (Christian Humanism), Ma’am Susan Faderogao (THE), Ma’am Anyl Dadole–strict yet kind (Computer), and all of my first year teachers that I forgot to mention.
And now I will talk about my 2nd year at XUHS, my year of scholastic excellence and competence. I want to thank my very intelligent, fashionista, and sexy moderator and social studies teacher, Ma’am Shanidar Cabaraban. Our class had wronged Ma’am Shan but she is always forgiving and she really had been a big contribution to our success in second year.
I want to thank all my classmates of 2-B, 2-St. Edmund Campion, both new and old. I want to thank my teachers Ma’am dela Peña (Filipino and KIW moderator), Ma’am Jinny Balulao-very kind and smiling teacher (Algebra), Ma’am Mercy Labial-radical (English) and Sir Garret-crush ng bayan (our substitute-English teacher), Ma’am Conchita Flores (Biology), Ma’am Irene Quirante-our very dear teacher (CH), Sir Salido (PE-again), Sir Sherwin Ramos-the romantic husband and good singer (Computer), Ma’am Conchita Almeñana-always caring (THE),
Let’s proceed to my third year, the start of the challenge. I want to thank my beloved moderators, the pretty and talented Ma’am Cecile Silmaro (also my Geometry teacher) and the athletic and outdoor adventurer Father Ogie Cabayao, SJ.
I want to thank my new Nerdz family, my classmates of 3-St. Andrew Bobola. Now for my teachers, Ma’am Alice Inovejas-the funny and incredible Jedi Knight (CH & SAP Coordinator), Ma’am Yeban-very patient (Algebra), Sir Emmanuel Gomez-our beloved and very good teacher (Chemistry), Ma’am Claire Hallares-our very funny and open teacher (Filipino), Ma’am Jaife Antollo-always right to the point (Social Studies), Ma’am Pearl Bondoc-the one who inspired me to act on stage and teached us all about life (English), Sir Vincent Padilla-taught us that we showed also enjoy life (PE), Sir Sherwin Ramos (computer), Ma’am Donna Villarente-Ms. Head-turner herself with her angelic voice (Business Management & SAP 2 Moderator).
And now for my fourth year of stay at XUHS, the conclusion, I want to thank our moderator/morality teacher and a friend to us Fr. XRYSZ, SJ. He has taught us not to settle for mediocrity and instead to aim high and to spread our wings and fly.
Again I want to thank the Nerdz, my classmates of 4-Bl.Richie Fernando, SJ. I want to thank my teachers Ma’am Mercy Labial (English), Ma’am Tessie Daba-taught us how to balance our lives (get it? J) (Accounting), Ma’am Amphie Vedua-Dinagsao-she is the proof that I still have hope in math with a little perseverance (trigonometry), Ma’am Itucal-miracles can happen (Physics), Sir Sherwin Ramos (Computer again), Ma’am Daroca-she taught us to be an eagle and soar high (Filipino), Ma’am Sofia Gamba-enlightened us on certain issues (Economics), and all our PE teachers Sir Fred Picar, Sir Tadlip, Sir Salido, and Sir Padilla.
I also want to thank Ma’am Septuagin (substitute-trigo teacher) for being so patient and nice to us. I also want to thank all our Student Teachers.
I want to thank my Counselor Ma’am Priscilla Villa for all the advices and kind thoughts she’d given me. I want to thank all the teachers, faculty and staff of XUHS special mention Ma’am Inocencia Balandra, Mr. Yeban, the Admissions and Testing officer, Ma’am Demata, and well everyone. I want to thank the non-teaching staff and personnel the Library Staff, Medical Staff, the Canteen personnel, the guards, and every single individual who have made my stay at XUHS wonderful.
I would like to thank Fr. George Esguerra, SJ. I can really say that he has been a very good principal, always thinking of the welfare of the students. I really appreciate his sensitiveness especially when the students are standing for a long time during Morning Assembly. I would also want to thank the other Fathers, Fr. Ruben Reyes and Fr. Xavier.

I also want to thank the undergrads especially the sophomores for really cooperating and for being very kind. I want to thank all my friends that I have met along the way, you guys know who you are. I especially want to thank the FLIPPOX DYNASTY!

I simply want to thank the XUHS COMMUNITY for everything! I will never forget my high school life, I will always carry the memories here in my heart.

Saying Good-Bye to Your Ideal Self

Saying Good-Bye to Your Ideal Self
I can’t believe that I’m not going to see him again. He has been an inspiration to me. I look up at him seeing everything that I wish to be and everything that I’m not. I don’t know, maybe he is more of a bad element than an “inspiration.” I’m so envious that I’m not like him. He’s so perfect. When I see him I can’t help but just look down at my self, he’s all my insecurities. But why do I want to see more of him and be more of him?
Maybe not seeing him again would be all for the good. I have to live and be me and not be some copy-cat who wants to imitate every single thing he does. No body is perfect right? Only God is perfect.
The more I love him the more I hate my self, it’s creepy actually. I have to move on. Good bye to you the person I hope to be but am not.
I’m so hopeless!

Enlightenment & Finding One’s Self

Enlightenment & Finding One’s Self
The Buddhists believe that they can achieve enlightenment through meditation meanwhile the Taoists believe that enlightenment can be achieved by following “the way”. We Christians believe that we can achieve it by following God and loving Him freely with all our heart.
Right now, being an adolescent who is facing constant changes, I am really confused. I am faced with many troubling questions. What is there in tomorrow? What do we live for? Why continue to suffer when you can end it all? Why do we hope and dream of a better future? Is there really a place called paradise?
We all are faced with many problems and pains. All these are ephemeral and soon will be gone. But don’t you sometimes feel like being empty at times, even if you don’t have worries? You then ask similar questions that I also asked. What is our purpose? What is our calling? What is God’s plan in this web that we call “Life?”
I believe that to be really enlightened of our mission, we must first discover our selves. Let us not hate our selves for the things that we can’t do but instead praise our actions that are admirable.
Let us get rid of our Masks of Deception and stop lying to everyone and stop fooling ourselves of being someone we really are not.
I admit that I can’t help others to find their selves and to discover their selves but I have found and accepted who I am.
I am who I am… I shall not bow down to anyone… When faced with problems, I will not hide and run away… with the Sword of Truth, I will fight for what is right!

My Future Career

My Future Career
As I said a while ago, I want to be a photographer or a model. I also have in mind to become a singer and I also want to act. Lately, I’ve also been thinking to enter a seminar and become a priest. But deep inside my heart I know that I will become a great doctor someday with nursing as my pre-med course.
I’m really excited for college. I want to give it all my best in college and I want to aim for the valedictorian award. Then I want to work as a nurse but if possible part-time only because I still have to study medicine. I wouldn’t settle and have a family unless I have a stable job and that I already have a house of my own.
I really wish and pray that these dreams come true. I will do everything I can to reach these goals. It’s not really about the money; it’s all about self-fulfillment, enlightenment of the soul, and discovering my purpose here on earth.
Everything is such a great mystery. Now, all I have to do is to give my best in everything I do so that I can reach my dream career of being a doctor with specialization in the heart/lungs.

Picture! Picture!

Picture! Picture!
I can’t believe that I’m becoming a pictureholic I mean I so love taking pictures, including pictures of my perfect self (hehehe). A digicam is the best invention that can happen to an artist. You can easily store and retrieve your pics anyway and you can directly post or e-mail it anywhere. It’s so convenient and you can even take more pictures than the ordinary film camera.
I really love cameras. A scene or place would really look different through the lenses of a camera. The real beauty of an object or person would really be emphasized. And that beauty will never fade in time because the picture would give the beauty immortality. Memories would never be forgotten and pictures would make past events feel like they just happened yesterday.
I don’t know why I just realized that now. I mean I just realized that taking pictures is one of my hobbies. Although I’m still a rookie and I haven’t studied photography and I guess I never will I still believe that I have some talent at it
Photographers are really artists for they can really express themselves through their art. A picture could really tell some interesting stories. Pictures seem to freeze time or a certain event. It makes you feel that the past is just a reach away.
I so love pictures and photography. I wish I can continue this hobby of mine. If I can’t be behind the camera, why not be in front of it instead? Hahahaha I’m just kidding. Well, I’ll end this topic and proceed to the next which is partly related.

Why Should I Blog?

Why Should I Blog?
I am again faced with this particular question today… Why should I blog? Why should I place all my thoughts, experiences, opinions, advertisements, and simply anything on the net? Well, one reason that comes into mind is that it’s like an online diary or journal that I want everyone to see, with the reasons to let them know that I exist and I am proud to be me! We should really love ourselves you know! Don’t you agree? We should accept who we are, all our short-comings and the things we excel at. But we should not be too obsessed with ourselves. Remember that each one of us is created uniquely.
I want my people (the people I know and knows me with a mutual care that is present) to know what’s happening to my life and I want to express my self. Do you know how it feels to keep all your emotions, happiness, sadness, pain, fears, and etc, locked-up in yourself? You would really have a bad case of emotional fatigue.
As I said in my first blog, “This blog is all about me.” If it interests you then feel free to read, but if it bores you there is only one solution: stop reading then.
You can copy anything here and re-post it or anything but please do ask my permission. You know intellectual rights. I’ll probably agree anyway. J Just e-mail me at vincentb88@yahoo.com. Well, guess that’s all.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Recollection

On February 18, 2005, Friday, our class, 4-Richie Fernando, will be having its retreat. Let me ask the people out there to please give us palancas and please pray for it's success. As the name says, we will be recollecting the past happenings that had occured and meditate what wrongs we might have done, the goodness in us that for once happened, the blessings, etc. There would be a "crying session" I think... Finally, it's time to move on. I will be recollecting for sure the hardships and joy that I've gone through as a human being who have lived on earth for 16 years now. I just wish that everything happens for the best.

friendster out of order

Today is February 17, 2005. I can't believe that friendster is out of order!!! Waaah!!! My life ends here! Not really... But I have a lot of things to see today in friendster. I want to see Ma'am Shal's testimonial for me! I want to meet new faces! I wan't to fool around! What else? Na, that's all for now.

Thursday, February 3, 2005

Ending My Chapter of Life In High School

It has been very tiring... sleepless night... brain-wrenching problems... and the likes. But as the day of the start of a new beginning comes, it just sends chills down my spine. What will become of me in the future? If high school was like this, how will college be like? There are so many questions unanswered and so many worries to leave behind. How will I know if what I'm doing is right? All I can say is that I'm glad to graduate, I just want to fall down and sleep. But I will never really forget SAP and my other school activities that made my life worthwhile. I'll never forget the people who really cared for me, stories shared, pains and tears. What awaits me? But I'm prepared to take this big leap to the future. I can no longer stand school. It has been a daily routine that has already become so agonizing. But I still can't hide the fact that I grew up in XUHS, chronologically speaking and both spiritual, emotional, and physical. I will never forget the principles that I had acquired and the memories of the "good old days" .... Wonder if anyone understands me...

Saturday, January 22, 2005

raed tihs!!

raed tihs!!

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrdwaht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor ofthe hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch atCmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in wahtoredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olnyiprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer bein the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl msesand you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihsis bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raedervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thoughtslpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!!!If you can udernatnsd tihs rdanieg, rpeost it!!!


Monday, January 3, 2005

New Year! Welcome 2005, The Year of the Wooden Rooster!

Welcome Year 2005! I really wonder what this year is going to be. Is it going to be the year of another disaster? Famine? Death? Is this a bad year for me? But I guess it's a year of a new beginning and second chance right? I want to finish my high school already! i can't breath my gosh! My only problem is my studies, it's affecting everything I do! Once I graduate all my problems will just melt away. I'll do my best so that all my sufferings will end. This is the year of success... I hope...
"Explore TheHeart.org for the latest Cardiology related articles on topics such as Dabigatran"

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