Sunday, March 13, 2005

XUHS Community Thank You!

XUHS Community Thank You
NOTE: This thank you letter/essay is very long; in short I just want to thank all the people who know me for caring for me and for loving me. I want them to know that even if I haven’t showed it much, I really care about them and I will miss them when I will leave XUHS.
I really haven’t expressed my self at all for my four years stay at Xavier University High School, my second home, and my beloved high school. Maybe the cause is fear of rejection, shyness, or simply fear of the unknown. As a very good friend said, people you love hurts you. You see when you love you open your self and leave your self vulnerable, a sitting duck, helpless. When you care and love someone, that person can easily use this to destroy you. Isn’t it more painful when a loved one hurts you? If it is just some useless person who you don’t care for you you can easily say, “The hell with you!” But if ever a loved one hurts you, the wound would really be deep, it would be unbearable, and would leave a scar which you will carry through the passing of time.
These are my fears, I don’t want to get hurt because I have loved so many times and just ended up crying in some dark, cold, lonesome corner. But I have to seize this opportunity to really say what I want to say for it all maybe too late, it is kind of late now though but who cares. I just have to remember that it is better to be hurt than to have never felt love in your life. Without love, success, power, and fortune would mean nothing. Emptiness and sadness would be the feeling that would be prevalent.
Right now, I will reveal my true self and break the masks I wear to protect my self from all forces. I am willing to love and leave my self vulnerable and unprotected. I want to thank everyone who made my life better. Here it goes…
I am really happy and proud to have studied at XUHS for I feel and know for a fact that XUHS had formed me into who I am now. I will forever be faithful and loyal to my school. All the great things that took place in my life happened here at XUHS, good and bad, happy and sad, wonderful and terrible, amazing and shocking.
It is also in XUHS that I met the most wonderful people and of course there are always antagonists but I forgive them and I accept them back in my heart. Let’s begin with my 1st year at XUHS, the entry of the innocent and pure me to the new and huge world of XUHS. I want to thank my caring and very motherly moderator and integrated science teacher, Mrs. Conchita Gomez who always supported the class and really took good care of us helping us adjust to the high school life. Mrs. Gomez is such a wonderful person; I don’t know how to thank her enough. Of course I also want to thank my classmates, the students of 1-B, 1-St. Lorenzo Ruiz, I haven’t showed my feelings but I love you guys and that I’m really proud of us and all our class achievements! I also want to thank my 1st year teachers, Ma’am May Flores-awakened the singer in me (English & Music), Ma’am Manampan-you made me want to learn math more (algebra), Sir Miguel Salido-you made me laugh (PE), Ma’am Irene Reymundo-inspired me (Christian Humanism), Ma’am Susan Faderogao (THE), Ma’am Anyl Dadole–strict yet kind (Computer), and all of my first year teachers that I forgot to mention.
And now I will talk about my 2nd year at XUHS, my year of scholastic excellence and competence. I want to thank my very intelligent, fashionista, and sexy moderator and social studies teacher, Ma’am Shanidar Cabaraban. Our class had wronged Ma’am Shan but she is always forgiving and she really had been a big contribution to our success in second year.
I want to thank all my classmates of 2-B, 2-St. Edmund Campion, both new and old. I want to thank my teachers Ma’am dela Peña (Filipino and KIW moderator), Ma’am Jinny Balulao-very kind and smiling teacher (Algebra), Ma’am Mercy Labial-radical (English) and Sir Garret-crush ng bayan (our substitute-English teacher), Ma’am Conchita Flores (Biology), Ma’am Irene Quirante-our very dear teacher (CH), Sir Salido (PE-again), Sir Sherwin Ramos-the romantic husband and good singer (Computer), Ma’am Conchita Almeñana-always caring (THE),
Let’s proceed to my third year, the start of the challenge. I want to thank my beloved moderators, the pretty and talented Ma’am Cecile Silmaro (also my Geometry teacher) and the athletic and outdoor adventurer Father Ogie Cabayao, SJ.
I want to thank my new Nerdz family, my classmates of 3-St. Andrew Bobola. Now for my teachers, Ma’am Alice Inovejas-the funny and incredible Jedi Knight (CH & SAP Coordinator), Ma’am Yeban-very patient (Algebra), Sir Emmanuel Gomez-our beloved and very good teacher (Chemistry), Ma’am Claire Hallares-our very funny and open teacher (Filipino), Ma’am Jaife Antollo-always right to the point (Social Studies), Ma’am Pearl Bondoc-the one who inspired me to act on stage and teached us all about life (English), Sir Vincent Padilla-taught us that we showed also enjoy life (PE), Sir Sherwin Ramos (computer), Ma’am Donna Villarente-Ms. Head-turner herself with her angelic voice (Business Management & SAP 2 Moderator).
And now for my fourth year of stay at XUHS, the conclusion, I want to thank our moderator/morality teacher and a friend to us Fr. XRYSZ, SJ. He has taught us not to settle for mediocrity and instead to aim high and to spread our wings and fly.
Again I want to thank the Nerdz, my classmates of 4-Bl.Richie Fernando, SJ. I want to thank my teachers Ma’am Mercy Labial (English), Ma’am Tessie Daba-taught us how to balance our lives (get it? J) (Accounting), Ma’am Amphie Vedua-Dinagsao-she is the proof that I still have hope in math with a little perseverance (trigonometry), Ma’am Itucal-miracles can happen (Physics), Sir Sherwin Ramos (Computer again), Ma’am Daroca-she taught us to be an eagle and soar high (Filipino), Ma’am Sofia Gamba-enlightened us on certain issues (Economics), and all our PE teachers Sir Fred Picar, Sir Tadlip, Sir Salido, and Sir Padilla.
I also want to thank Ma’am Septuagin (substitute-trigo teacher) for being so patient and nice to us. I also want to thank all our Student Teachers.
I want to thank my Counselor Ma’am Priscilla Villa for all the advices and kind thoughts she’d given me. I want to thank all the teachers, faculty and staff of XUHS special mention Ma’am Inocencia Balandra, Mr. Yeban, the Admissions and Testing officer, Ma’am Demata, and well everyone. I want to thank the non-teaching staff and personnel the Library Staff, Medical Staff, the Canteen personnel, the guards, and every single individual who have made my stay at XUHS wonderful.
I would like to thank Fr. George Esguerra, SJ. I can really say that he has been a very good principal, always thinking of the welfare of the students. I really appreciate his sensitiveness especially when the students are standing for a long time during Morning Assembly. I would also want to thank the other Fathers, Fr. Ruben Reyes and Fr. Xavier.

I also want to thank the undergrads especially the sophomores for really cooperating and for being very kind. I want to thank all my friends that I have met along the way, you guys know who you are. I especially want to thank the FLIPPOX DYNASTY!

I simply want to thank the XUHS COMMUNITY for everything! I will never forget my high school life, I will always carry the memories here in my heart.

Saying Good-Bye to Your Ideal Self

Saying Good-Bye to Your Ideal Self
I can’t believe that I’m not going to see him again. He has been an inspiration to me. I look up at him seeing everything that I wish to be and everything that I’m not. I don’t know, maybe he is more of a bad element than an “inspiration.” I’m so envious that I’m not like him. He’s so perfect. When I see him I can’t help but just look down at my self, he’s all my insecurities. But why do I want to see more of him and be more of him?
Maybe not seeing him again would be all for the good. I have to live and be me and not be some copy-cat who wants to imitate every single thing he does. No body is perfect right? Only God is perfect.
The more I love him the more I hate my self, it’s creepy actually. I have to move on. Good bye to you the person I hope to be but am not.
I’m so hopeless!

Enlightenment & Finding One’s Self

Enlightenment & Finding One’s Self
The Buddhists believe that they can achieve enlightenment through meditation meanwhile the Taoists believe that enlightenment can be achieved by following “the way”. We Christians believe that we can achieve it by following God and loving Him freely with all our heart.
Right now, being an adolescent who is facing constant changes, I am really confused. I am faced with many troubling questions. What is there in tomorrow? What do we live for? Why continue to suffer when you can end it all? Why do we hope and dream of a better future? Is there really a place called paradise?
We all are faced with many problems and pains. All these are ephemeral and soon will be gone. But don’t you sometimes feel like being empty at times, even if you don’t have worries? You then ask similar questions that I also asked. What is our purpose? What is our calling? What is God’s plan in this web that we call “Life?”
I believe that to be really enlightened of our mission, we must first discover our selves. Let us not hate our selves for the things that we can’t do but instead praise our actions that are admirable.
Let us get rid of our Masks of Deception and stop lying to everyone and stop fooling ourselves of being someone we really are not.
I admit that I can’t help others to find their selves and to discover their selves but I have found and accepted who I am.
I am who I am… I shall not bow down to anyone… When faced with problems, I will not hide and run away… with the Sword of Truth, I will fight for what is right!

My Future Career

My Future Career
As I said a while ago, I want to be a photographer or a model. I also have in mind to become a singer and I also want to act. Lately, I’ve also been thinking to enter a seminar and become a priest. But deep inside my heart I know that I will become a great doctor someday with nursing as my pre-med course.
I’m really excited for college. I want to give it all my best in college and I want to aim for the valedictorian award. Then I want to work as a nurse but if possible part-time only because I still have to study medicine. I wouldn’t settle and have a family unless I have a stable job and that I already have a house of my own.
I really wish and pray that these dreams come true. I will do everything I can to reach these goals. It’s not really about the money; it’s all about self-fulfillment, enlightenment of the soul, and discovering my purpose here on earth.
Everything is such a great mystery. Now, all I have to do is to give my best in everything I do so that I can reach my dream career of being a doctor with specialization in the heart/lungs.

Picture! Picture!

Picture! Picture!
I can’t believe that I’m becoming a pictureholic I mean I so love taking pictures, including pictures of my perfect self (hehehe). A digicam is the best invention that can happen to an artist. You can easily store and retrieve your pics anyway and you can directly post or e-mail it anywhere. It’s so convenient and you can even take more pictures than the ordinary film camera.
I really love cameras. A scene or place would really look different through the lenses of a camera. The real beauty of an object or person would really be emphasized. And that beauty will never fade in time because the picture would give the beauty immortality. Memories would never be forgotten and pictures would make past events feel like they just happened yesterday.
I don’t know why I just realized that now. I mean I just realized that taking pictures is one of my hobbies. Although I’m still a rookie and I haven’t studied photography and I guess I never will I still believe that I have some talent at it
Photographers are really artists for they can really express themselves through their art. A picture could really tell some interesting stories. Pictures seem to freeze time or a certain event. It makes you feel that the past is just a reach away.
I so love pictures and photography. I wish I can continue this hobby of mine. If I can’t be behind the camera, why not be in front of it instead? Hahahaha I’m just kidding. Well, I’ll end this topic and proceed to the next which is partly related.

Why Should I Blog?

Why Should I Blog?
I am again faced with this particular question today… Why should I blog? Why should I place all my thoughts, experiences, opinions, advertisements, and simply anything on the net? Well, one reason that comes into mind is that it’s like an online diary or journal that I want everyone to see, with the reasons to let them know that I exist and I am proud to be me! We should really love ourselves you know! Don’t you agree? We should accept who we are, all our short-comings and the things we excel at. But we should not be too obsessed with ourselves. Remember that each one of us is created uniquely.
I want my people (the people I know and knows me with a mutual care that is present) to know what’s happening to my life and I want to express my self. Do you know how it feels to keep all your emotions, happiness, sadness, pain, fears, and etc, locked-up in yourself? You would really have a bad case of emotional fatigue.
As I said in my first blog, “This blog is all about me.” If it interests you then feel free to read, but if it bores you there is only one solution: stop reading then.
You can copy anything here and re-post it or anything but please do ask my permission. You know intellectual rights. I’ll probably agree anyway. J Just e-mail me at Well, guess that’s all.