Friday, June 26, 2009

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

I first heard of Michael Jackson's death from Elvira my co-worker yesterday. It was a bit of a shock to me because I never really imagined him or anyone famous dying because for me they are immortal. Their fame, works, and contributions to human culture and society will forever linger.

Just like many influential people in the past, Michael Jackson has already accomplished the status of being an icon. I remember that I got my scar on my lower lip as a little kid from an accident I had because I was dancing to his music and slipped and fell on our old rattan furniture. What can I say? His music was so moving that I can't help but groove to the beat.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Remote Access

A friend was asking for help with her computer one day. It seems that she had a problem with her computer settings and naturally she asked me for help because she thought that I was a computer geek which I'm not.

Everything would have turned out easier if I had remote access to her computer. I tried using the Window's Remote Assistance software but I don't know why but somehow I wasn't able to connect to her computer at all. It was quite frustrating.

Telling her what to do step by step sure was time consuming and I could have fixed her problem within minutes if only I had access to her computer. It was just unfortunate that we didn't have RemotePC.

What I like about RemotePC is that it isn't system resource intensive, the program doesn't take a lot of memory. Plus it's easier to set-up and use than the very complicated Windows Remote Assistance.

You can just open the viewer or the web browser, log-in, and presto you can instantly gain access to the files on the computer and anything in the home network. Everything is very easy to setup and the subscription to the service is cheaper than most competitors.


The Path to Our Dream Home

OMG!!! We were shaken a bit after hearing from someone that we made a mistake of applying for credit to buy a set of furniture at Sears. Well this someone said that the bank could still back out and cancel our mortgage before the actual house keys are given to us.

Applying for credit after getting a mortgage approved somehow gives an impression that we can't afford to pay our mortgage, well that's what this person said because she used to work as a mortgage specialist.

It kind of scared us because what the hell are we going to do with our $3,500 worth Sofa if we don't have a house? Gosh my mom and I were really psyched out! It's kind of my fault because I was bugging my mom to apply for credit already so that the sofa will be manufactured and be available for delivery on the day that we will move in our house.

I'm also having second thoughts with the sofa we bought because for that price we could have bought an entire sectional. But it kind of looks nice right?

We bought one that is custom made, we got to choose the color and the sofa is made out of Italian leather and the chair at the left most part reclines. I have to convince myself that the price is really worth it...

We really felt down after buying a very expensive sofa because we saw a sectional for that same price... It really pays to window shop.

And we also learned our lesson and realized that we shouldn't apply for financing anymore because we were thinking that if we had a lot of debt it would really be hard to budget our money so it would be best to just save right now while we still aren't paying for our mortgage and then just pay cash for our mortgage.

But we did already reserved some furniture at Leon's. We didn't bother with a sectional anymore since it is very bulky and it would be better to get a sofa and a loveseat so that the four of us can get a seat that reclines. Plus we had to think of getting something cheaper but has good quality because we are furnishing 3 living rooms: the basement (entertainment room), main floor (great room), and second floor (bonus room). We were able to furnish our living rooms for less than $10,000 so I guess we made quite the accomplishment.

We won't buy any paintings, dining set, or beds yet since we still want to have food on our table and cash for our other bills. We just have to make use of what we currently own right now.

I'm still unhappy with the fact that not everything I want is happening but I am really glad that my mom's dream is finally becoming a reality. She worked so hard for this so it's just right that she reaps the fruit of her labor.

I just have to bare working for a while so that I can help with the bills while I still can.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

A Book Review: The Unit

I'm quite pleased that I was given the chance to read and make a review of Ninni Holmqvist's debut novel, The Unit.

And I have to say that I enjoyed every minute that I have read the book as it aroused my sense of awe and wonder if ever a place like the Reserve Bank Unit would suddenly show-up in the not so far future.

The Reserve Bank Unit is a place for the "dispensables" (women over fifty and men over sixty who don't have "useful" professions or who are childless,) are gathered for biological materials and scientific testings.

Basically, the Reserve Bank Unit is a luxurious slaughterhouse. The occupants in the reserve are able to live extravagant lives being able to eat gourmet food and shop for luxury items without having to pay for them. Well, they do have to pay in the form of organ donations and participation in life-threatening experiments though.

The main protagonist of the story Dorritt Weger, submitted herself to the Unit because she was childless and her career as a freelance writer wasn't considered a job that could benefit all of society. Dorritt who was unhappy in the outside world, in the community, is suddenly infused with desires to live her own life again as she met a partner in the unit and that they had a baby together. It's just too bad that a tragedy had to occur to destroy her dream to become a mother. I won't say anything more about the story because I don't want to spoil it for everyone.

The Unit had exreme effects on the outside world too because cases of teen pregnancies and infant kidnappings arised because no one wants to be taken away and live the remaining of your life participating in several painful experiments and having your organs taken one by one.

This then gives us the question of how valuable human life is to society that they are able to treat humans just as walking useable organs and lab rats.

I highly recommend this book to everyone. The story has a very controversial topic that will surely spark your interest. Although the book is more on the female psyche, having read it from a male perspective, I still enjoyed the book.

Friday, June 12, 2009


The cool breeze brings nothing but the memories of my past. I remember the wind upon my face when I rode my bike around the neighborhood at night, when I climbed the top of Mount Sipaka, when I walked early in the morning searching for a taxi to get to the hospital on time, when I climbed on top of our roof to enjoy the beauty of the moon and stars, and so on.

I feel like I am still living in the past. The present is killing me slowly and the future scares me. Right now I only have my past to validate my worth. I never realized how lucky I was to have lived such a beautiful life in the Philippines surrounded by people I love and I was doing the thing I loved... being a student nurse.

I miss my college life... I miss my Missy... I miss my friends... I miss my old self...

I had so much to be proud of, I had so much hope, and I had so many goals and dreams...

I still don't have any reason to be happy in Canada. Sure I have friends and family here but there is something that is still missing and this great void is making me so unhappy.

I really must have a serious case of depression.

Am I Alive?

This is the question that I had brought upon myself while I mindlessly drifted into a state of self-reflection. Seriously. What is life? How can you truly say that you really are living?

Is living mainly being able to think, move, speak, eat, or simply having the ability to maintain proper body functions? Right now I feel that I am dead. Yes, people see me and I am able to interact with other people but I still feel like I am dead.

I really feel burdened with so many thoughts and broken dreams. Although my family is doing ok and you can say that they are able to move on with their lives and there is a significant improvement in our lifestyle since we move here to Canada from the Philippines but I feel so left out.

I can't help but ask myself what the hell was I doing all the years that I was in the Philippines? I have sacrificed so many things when I was in the Philippines. I sacrificed my happiness that's for sure. While I was studying, I turned down friends on their proposals to go to outings and have fun, I turned down having romantic relationships because I felt that studying was more important, and I turned down so many things that I didn't realized that I was only turning myself down to have fun and be happy for once in my life.

I feel such a failure. For starters, I didn't expect to be turned down by University of Alberta and now I'm stuck for almost one year that I have been here in Canada working at Tim Hortons being humiliated and looked down upon. I know that some people may think that this is just my pride talking but I really feel like a complete failure.

If MacEwan College doesn't accept me into their nursing program this September I don't know what I will do. Right now I have been researching other related opportunities because I really don't want to work at a dead-end job. I am just 20 years old but I feel that I have been left out by my batch mates who now have great jobs and are now living their dreams.

I don't want to be a drama queen but this is how depressed I am right now. I just hope that things turn out better the following days.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Shake and Bake!

You just have to love Canada! They always have something fun and unique just like the new Dr. Oetker Shaker!

I love baking and with the shaker mixes by Dr. Oetker, I can bake muffins, cupcakes, and even pancakes in a jiffy! It's so easy to make that even a little kid (with adult supervision of course) can make one. Just add milk or water, shake, shake, shake, pour into a baking mold and viola! Just put that yummy treat in the oven and just wait for it to cook and enjoy!

You don't have to be a pastry chef to be able to whip up amazing cupcakes or muffins for birthday parties and gatherings. It tastes so good that people will love it and it's so hard to resist the temptation to take all the glory and say you made it from scratch.

But for me I bake it for my midnight treat and I feel no guilt at all because the Shaker is 0 trans fat, a source of fibre, and Prebiotics! Give me any other muffin that is as healthy as that?

Boy, this post sure is making me hungry. So if you excuse me, I have some shaking to do in the kitchen!


Silence Is Sharper than Words

Do you know what pisses your enemies the worst? The fact that you can still smile after they tried so hard to piss you off! And this is exactly what I did a while ago!

I have posted an entry before about my haters and as I predicted they (like 8-9 old Filipino geezers) were right on schedule. I made sure I didn't do anything to offend them but I guess that they don't want me to speak in English to my customers who happens to be white... weird I know.

They feel that I try too hard to impress them with my English but to let them know that is how I speak English whether they are there or not. Does it really bother them that I speak English well? Seriously, just because I'm Filipino it doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to develop an accent can I?

But I'm really happy with myself because I didn't react to whatever bullshit they were talking about me for the past 4 to 6 hours that they were staying at my place of work. Seriously, they waste too much time trying to piss me off so in return they were the one that got pissed because I didn't react to all their hard work.

So I learned that sometimes silence can cut through anyone's bullshit better than words. Because if you react to their taunts, it's just like adding fuel to their confidence in their ability to piss you off so it will never end. But if you just keep quiet, they feel neglected and hurt because they feel like talking to a wall... which by the way is a very stupid thing to do if you ask me.

So on with the silence strategy. There's no use in wasting time and energy to defend yourself when your obviously fighting against stupid childish obnoxious nobodies.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

The Perfect Gift for Dad

Oh my gosh! Time really does fly so fast. I feel like it was only Mother's Day a few days ago and now Father's Day is fast approaching.

I better think fast of what I should give my dad for this Father's Day. Who am I kidding? I already know the perfect gift for him and my only problem is to choose which one is perfect from the line of Casio watches.

Yup! My dad and I are watch lovers! We share the interest in collecting different kinds of watches and we even share our watches. So it's like buying myself a watch too if you know what I mean.

I really like this Casio watch over here. It's scratch proof and it has features like auto calendar and daylight-saving time on/off which is perfect for us because we don't want a repeat of what happened to us last time when we were late for work because we forgot to change the time.

I just know that he, including myself, would love this watch. It's a perfect Father's Day gift indeed!

Family Reunion and My Pathetic Life

My life is so boring... I'm glad that at last there is something worth blogging about. Last Friday, my family and I went to West Edmonton Mall because my cousin (the daughter of my father's brother) was staying there at the Fantasy Hotel.

I think it has been years since I last saw her and I am so happy for her accomplishments. She's actually from Prince Albert in Saskatchewan and she works there as a nurse. I wish that I could also one day be like her and be able to practice the profession that I had studied and prepared for the last 3 years of my life... well before I came here to Canada that is.

I am so unhappy with my present job. I wish that I could have conquered my laziness and worked somewhere far where I could earn more and save my pride. Well there are 4 more months before I finally get to study (if ever I get admission) so quiting my job once again to look for another job is quite difficult...

Well quiting is actually easy but I don't want to give my manager another slap in the face after she took me in once again and she even gave me a raise twice! She gave me a raise when she gave me my job back and she gave me another raise when I was working again for 4 months... And I guess my job ain't that bad putting aside the harassment and ridicule that I have to put up with.

Anyway, I've noticed that my hair is extremely soft (completely out of topic!!!)! I'm just amazed because my hair is color treated so I was expecting it to be lifeless, but my hair actually looks healthier now. Weird.

Although getting a new house is already a great happening in my life, a personal change in my lifestyle (uhm... like being a student once again) is what I'm really dying for. I'll just hope for the best... once again...

Thursday, June 4, 2009

How to Deal with Haters

Seriously I can't think straight these days... I'm afraid that I might go into a state of depression but I guess I still have strength in my tiny soul to pull through.

I especially loved this article I found on that I really liked. It's called How to Deal With Haters and it has given me a new perspective with haters. Even if they say so many hurtful things to me I won't be affected because it only shows I'm on the right track to success because with success comes a pack of haters. As you become more successful your haters will only pick on you even on the slightest mistakes that you may have to gratify the deep void that they have.

So whenever anyone tries to bring you down with what ever they say just say, "Let it go... they're not worth it...".

In my experience this might be the best thing to do because if you react and curse those haters they will only feel great knowing that they have won and that they have successfully caused you temporary insanity. Ignoring them does nothing anyway because they will even hate you more because they feel insecure because you don't even give them credit for their hard work of insulting you. But ignoring them saves you the time and effort in creating a come back because haters are has immunity to hate because it is in their genes to begin with.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I'm OK

I have to admit that I was really affected with those people who kept talking about me and criticizing my every move and everything I say but I realized that I'm not the one with the problem but they are.

So as a friend has told me, I should just ignore whatever they say because seriously who the hell are they? They are nothing to me so their words should not render me powerless because they are just pathetic losers without a life.

So I'm ok. I'm fine. I love my self and I am proud of who I am.

Monday, June 1, 2009

I'm A Victim of Psychological Harrassment

I need help... but my voice is so faint and no one hears me... I feel so alone and hurt. Tears would just fall down by themselves but now all I feel is anger.

I just wanted to work and earn some money before I continue to go to school to study but I never wanted to be a center of harassment and criticism, especially by fellow Filipinos.

It sickens me because they are able to freely humiliate me and criticize me in every way possible. They criticize the way I speak, the way I act, and even my sexuality. I feel like I'm being watched the whole 8 hours of my shift because they always come to Tim Hortons to just sit and talk... unfortunately the conversations are about me, "Taga-timpla lang nang kape" or "just a coffee stirrer" in English.

The worst part is that I suffer in silence because they speak in Filipino while they all out criticize me and degrade my entire person and humanity. I confronted these group of Filipinos aged 40 or more and then they were saying that they would never do that because I'm a Filipino but I don't know why they had to lie. Maybe because they didn't want a confrontation to save themselves from embarrassment.

I have been suffering from insomnia, stress, and I really felt bad about the entire thing. I ask myself what is wrong with me to deserve such attitudes. But a friend then told me that there is nothing wrong with me, it is them who has a problem.

I wanted to change my shift but I've realized that they just want to bring me down because there is an awful gap and emptiness that they have to fill... I just wonder why criticizing me will fill that hole.

Before you find fault and criticize other people, make sure that you are completely flawless. If you think you are perfect, then you should know that using other people's weaknesses to validate your own worth just shows that you're one pathetic loser. No one in this world is perfect or the best at anything. If there is that someone then that someone is God.