Monday, June 1, 2009

I'm A Victim of Psychological Harrassment

I need help... but my voice is so faint and no one hears me... I feel so alone and hurt. Tears would just fall down by themselves but now all I feel is anger.

I just wanted to work and earn some money before I continue to go to school to study but I never wanted to be a center of harassment and criticism, especially by fellow Filipinos.

It sickens me because they are able to freely humiliate me and criticize me in every way possible. They criticize the way I speak, the way I act, and even my sexuality. I feel like I'm being watched the whole 8 hours of my shift because they always come to Tim Hortons to just sit and talk... unfortunately the conversations are about me, "Taga-timpla lang nang kape" or "just a coffee stirrer" in English.

The worst part is that I suffer in silence because they speak in Filipino while they all out criticize me and degrade my entire person and humanity. I confronted these group of Filipinos aged 40 or more and then they were saying that they would never do that because I'm a Filipino but I don't know why they had to lie. Maybe because they didn't want a confrontation to save themselves from embarrassment.

I have been suffering from insomnia, stress, and I really felt bad about the entire thing. I ask myself what is wrong with me to deserve such attitudes. But a friend then told me that there is nothing wrong with me, it is them who has a problem.

I wanted to change my shift but I've realized that they just want to bring me down because there is an awful gap and emptiness that they have to fill... I just wonder why criticizing me will fill that hole.

Before you find fault and criticize other people, make sure that you are completely flawless. If you think you are perfect, then you should know that using other people's weaknesses to validate your own worth just shows that you're one pathetic loser. No one in this world is perfect or the best at anything. If there is that someone then that someone is God.

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