Friday, June 12, 2009


The cool breeze brings nothing but the memories of my past. I remember the wind upon my face when I rode my bike around the neighborhood at night, when I climbed the top of Mount Sipaka, when I walked early in the morning searching for a taxi to get to the hospital on time, when I climbed on top of our roof to enjoy the beauty of the moon and stars, and so on.

I feel like I am still living in the past. The present is killing me slowly and the future scares me. Right now I only have my past to validate my worth. I never realized how lucky I was to have lived such a beautiful life in the Philippines surrounded by people I love and I was doing the thing I loved... being a student nurse.

I miss my college life... I miss my Missy... I miss my friends... I miss my old self...

I had so much to be proud of, I had so much hope, and I had so many goals and dreams...

I still don't have any reason to be happy in Canada. Sure I have friends and family here but there is something that is still missing and this great void is making me so unhappy.

I really must have a serious case of depression.

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