In my pharmacology class, we had to take a drug calculations quiz. We either get a hundred percent or we fail. Guess what? I failed...
I am angry and bewildered as why I would fail such a simple math exam. I double checked each and every one of my answers but I still ended making a mistake. I hate making mistakes and I hate being a failure. I am not a failure and this event has taken a toll on my self-esteem... specifically my pride.
Sure, this is a humbling event and it reminded me that to err is human and that I shouldn't think badly of others who fail because they too might be just like me... had a case of bad, dumb old luck. Life is a gamble and it's how you deal with what ever life gives you is the most important part.
I was grieving when I found out I had to do a retake. I was in denial (I couldn't make a mistake), I was angry (that stupid teacher checked my paper wrong), bargaining (I didn't really bargain...), I was depressed (I wanted to die), and finally I accepted my failure.
I just lost 2% of my total grade and it really doesn't look that bad. I will make this failure as a sign to work extra hard and be more diligent in my studies.
It does help to think positively.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Let me first express how I feel so bad about being a jerk to my mail lady. I didn't say thank you to her or even acknowledged her when she said "thank you" to me and I feel really bad... I am such a jerk at times.
I could honestly say that I could never do any bad will to anyone who doesn't deserve it because my conscience will eat me for days. I don't know if having a strong conscience is a strength or a weakness, but one thing's for sure: I have a conscience.
Wikipedia defines conscience as "an aptitude, faculty, intuition, or judgment of the intellect that distinguishes right from wrong" and is "described as leading to feelings of remorse when a human does things that go against his/her moral values, and to feelings of rectitude or integrity when actions conform to such norms."
I find having a good conscience as a strength because it helps me in making the right decisions and it protects me from the severe consequences of wrong decisions. Having a conscience is only a weakness when every one else doesn't have one. You'll end up being eaten, chewed, and spitted out by immoral people. Nevertheless, I try having a good balance with my conscience. I will follow the golden rule, "One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself". Although the platinum rule ("people should treat others as those others would like to be treated") is better, my moral fibre isn't strong enough. I still prefer the "eye for an eye" logic.
Photo credits to David Tanguay