Sunday, March 13, 2005

Saying Good-Bye to Your Ideal Self

Saying Good-Bye to Your Ideal Self
I can’t believe that I’m not going to see him again. He has been an inspiration to me. I look up at him seeing everything that I wish to be and everything that I’m not. I don’t know, maybe he is more of a bad element than an “inspiration.” I’m so envious that I’m not like him. He’s so perfect. When I see him I can’t help but just look down at my self, he’s all my insecurities. But why do I want to see more of him and be more of him?
Maybe not seeing him again would be all for the good. I have to live and be me and not be some copy-cat who wants to imitate every single thing he does. No body is perfect right? Only God is perfect.
The more I love him the more I hate my self, it’s creepy actually. I have to move on. Good bye to you the person I hope to be but am not.
I’m so hopeless!
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