Monday, August 18, 2008

The Cycle of Depression

How do I feel now? Well let's just say that I'm feeling down. I feel as if I'm not going anywhere and that I'm stuck. A sense of impending doom if you may say. I'm afraid that I may not reach my full potentials. I want to find the next nearest tall building and jump off from it.

I don't want to work at a low-paying job anymore. I know that I am lucky to get a job that pays $9.50 an hour but this is not what I envisioned myself to be. I'm so sick and tired waiting for my college to evaluate my transcripts. I want to study right now so that I could finish my degree earlier.

Sure I can afford to buy the things I want with my present job and survive but the problem is this is not what I want to be for the rest of my life. I know that I could do more and be more than who I am right now.

My whole integrity is being challenged and I can't stop thinking that moving to Canada was a huge mistake, for my part at least. I should have finished my studies back in the Philippines.

My job is no bundle of joy either. I hate my job. I am asked again to work tonight at 11 pm to 7 am and next Sunday they're sending me to another Tim Hortons and I have absolutely no idea where that is.

I'm tired... I'm losing hope. To others this may be such a simple problem with such a simple solution but it isn't that easy believe me.

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