Monday, September 15, 2008

Inner Strength

I hate seeing it when the person I love the most is vulnerable. I hate to see my mom being meek when she's in public. I hate it because I know that she will be an easy target for people who are nasty and who loves to bring down others.

There are times that I wish I could be able to provide everything our family needs so that my mom won't have to work or go outside the house. There are times when I wish my mom had a stronger character... I mean she should be more confident enough to be able to speak louder and be more aggressive with dealing with people.

But I know that my mom has a different kind of strength that is not shown physically. And this is her inner strength. I know that she had gone through a lot to get us where we are now that's why I will always respect her for that strength to overcome all to reach her goal. But she reaches her goal with out harming or stepping down on others, and this is very respectable.

But maybe it's not my mom who lacks strength at all... maybe it's me. She has learned to accept who she is. I know that I accept myself for who I am but the question is have I completely accepted myself? Maybe not. I have to be honest. I hate going out of the house because I sometimes feel insecure. I feel inferior to the white people and that I feel like I have to prove my worth all the time. I want to get through this problem of mine. Maybe it's just because I'm still young and I need a little bit more of experience... well... we'll see.


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