Sunday, August 30, 2009

Blame it on the Philippine Economy & Government

Honestly, I hate my life. I feel that I am the most unsuccessful loser on the face of the planet. I feel so unaccomplished and I feel like killing myself. That's right, I am sick of being someone who has nothing to be proud of except my mom and her accomplishments.

If I only knew... If I had the power to predict that I would waste one year of my life working at a store where my entire human dignity will be chewed and spat out I would have never left the beautiful life that I had. Sure I didn't afford stuff that I wanted and we didn't have a car in the Philippines but I had something that I can be proud of. I was a student at one of the best university in the Philippines. I was praised as being one of the smartest and considered as a student leader... but all of that is meaningless now... I'm just a loser...

My whole life is being challenged. My beliefs and my self worth is being shaken... The strong foundation that I have built through the years of studying well and trying to make academic and even social accomplishments are now easily uprooted and thrown into the abyss. I have nothing... I was an educated person, but once I set foot on Canada my education and my everything is deemed uncompetitive and inferior as compared to Canadian standards.

I hate being gloomy about the entire thing... I especially hate being gloomy about my life in front of my mom. I feel bad because I feel like I'm blaming her for what's happening to me... or rather, what's not happening to me. But I don't blame my mom. She meant well and she never expected this either to happen to me. If there was anyone to blame, it would be the Philippine economy and the government.

That's right! It's the Philippine economy and the Philippine government that should be blamed for my current situation. If the Philippines was like Canada, no one would ever leave the country and everyone would live a good life because everything can be afforded. I hate the stupid politicians and the idiot people who elected them and then complain about it. Seriously, after Ferdinand Marcos everything went downhill. Schools depicts Marcos as an evil corrupt man but for me he was the one that has built a great foundation for a better future but all these foundations where discontinued by Cory Aquino and even the projects of Marcos that could have benefited a lot where stopped because it was the project of the man she hates, how selfish and thoughtless.

I have so many dreams and goals... I wanted to be a great person who could contribute something to man kind... but being born in the Philippines has greatly injured my chances... I don't hate my mother land but I'm just very frustrated right now...

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