Monday, February 9, 2009

Curing My Social Phobia

I have to admit that I'm not a big fan of people, especially crowds. I hate taking public transit, I hate walking alone in crowded places like the mall, and I especially hate parties and gatherings with people I don't know.

I really don't have a clinical diagnosis of Social Anxiety Disorder (a.k.a. Social Phobia) but how I feel towards other people and how I react maybe qualifies me for being antisocial.

I can open up and talk to people who I am comfortable with (non-flashy, approachable, and the fellow shy-type kind of people) but I really put up an invisible defensive barrier around me when I'm out of my comfort zone (meaning being out in public).

I hate walking in crowded places because I feel like every one is staring at me and mocking me (not to be too conceited or anything, I know that they don't really notice me).

I'd also prefer staying at home than going with my parents to parties and gatherings to other people's house. I feel uncomfortable not being in my own territory. When I'm in parties I usually go with my mom or anyone I know or if the people I go with tend to socailize with others too much I just go out and hide in a solitary space.

One might be surprised how I survive working at Tim Hortons were I'm supposed to take orders from strangers and such. Well it really depends upon my mood, the number of co-workers with me, and there are days where I am the baker and I don't have to be in contact with other people so it's all good.

But I'm slowly coping with this problem of mine. Now, even if I find it troublesome, I go out with friends and enjoy. In fact this coming March 7, my friends and I are going on a skiing trip! The normal antisocial me would rather stay at home and just watch movies on my laptop but I guess socializing once in a while isn't too bad.


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