Thursday, February 23, 2006

Heartaches and Headaches

Heartaches and Headaches
This week has been the worst week ever, but things could get more ugly. I just feel so emotionally, physically, spiritually, and intellectually drained. I just want to sleep and forget that everything is real. I want to be free to do the things that I want to do. But this is just so difficult and impossible to achieve. I don’t want to move… I don’t want to think… I don’t want to feel… I want to die…. Hopelessness is slowly overcoming me. But I am the Vincent! I can do anything that I wish. I won’t let anyone else control my life! I have to fight! I have to win. I won’t be a loser! I will fight!
Ok, I can do this. As long as I can breathe and kick butt I will persevere and give everything! I can do this! I will and I can! But… It still hurts… It hurts badly… Why doesn’t everything go the way I plan things to happen? Am I just destined to be so bored and dull? I don’t want this anymore. But I won’t give up! I won’t cry over spilled milk (I’m using a lot of metaphors already and my sentence structure is a wreck, but who cares?!)! I tried my best. I let go of everything! I just want to be happy. I don’t care anymore. It’s my turn to be selfish.

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