Monday, February 27, 2006

I'm Home Free!!!

Yipee! Only a few ore weeks hen good-bye to a 31 unit workload and welcome summer vacation!!! I do have a lot of things to accomlish before I can freely move along my AHSE-1 course but I guess I'm doing great for asomeone who lacks sleep!!! Grrr!!! I'm so sleepy all the time! But thank God that my beloved angel is there to inspire me... hehehe...okies... time to hiot the sack!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

How Long?

Wonder how long I have to wait to be really happy... maybe I am... I just don't see it yet.ü

Heartaches and Headaches

Heartaches and Headaches
This week has been the worst week ever, but things could get more ugly. I just feel so emotionally, physically, spiritually, and intellectually drained. I just want to sleep and forget that everything is real. I want to be free to do the things that I want to do. But this is just so difficult and impossible to achieve. I don’t want to move… I don’t want to think… I don’t want to feel… I want to die…. Hopelessness is slowly overcoming me. But I am the Vincent! I can do anything that I wish. I won’t let anyone else control my life! I have to fight! I have to win. I won’t be a loser! I will fight!
Ok, I can do this. As long as I can breathe and kick butt I will persevere and give everything! I can do this! I will and I can! But… It still hurts… It hurts badly… Why doesn’t everything go the way I plan things to happen? Am I just destined to be so bored and dull? I don’t want this anymore. But I won’t give up! I won’t cry over spilled milk (I’m using a lot of metaphors already and my sentence structure is a wreck, but who cares?!)! I tried my best. I let go of everything! I just want to be happy. I don’t care anymore. It’s my turn to be selfish.

Monday, February 20, 2006


I'm so bored! Nothing is really happenming in my life... Well just a threat to my life and security but nothing that exciting. My bestfriend chose a sex maniac over me... My grades are ok... but not that impressive... My love life is a big dull... But still exciting every now and then.ü I'm already this close to a stalker level hehehe.ü It's only a matter of time that I go berserk and just go jump ut of a building or something. Oh yes! This saturday is prom night! My God! Prom! Again? My last prom was a drag... no it's not a drag... it just sucked that's all. But hope this prom won't suck that much. My partner is a good friend of mine and I do hope that I get to see my high school crush. Hehehe... High school life all over again. What do I want to do right now? Sleep and eat! Buhuhu... Still have to study for political science and philosophy for tomorrow. Hey at least i did great in history even if I did not get to study our assignment for our test. Still got a 31 (or was it 32?) over 40. I still love God... He has always been good to me. I just hope that God gives me a sign to tell me the right things to do. I know that I have free will and everything but I hope He gives me options or something. Hmm.. Have nothing else to say... Hay naku life... sucks... heheheü

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Who Am I?

Who am I? This is a question that has puzzled me ever since my mind matured enough to see the true world in its true nature. What is my purpose in this world? What will happen to me in the future? What are the things I should do? What do I want? These are some of the other questions that bother me everyday… I search for who I am, my true identity, and my destiny…
Right now I can easily say who I am in terms of status and role. I am 17 years old, an AHSE-1 student enrolled at XU, and the eldest of the two sons that my parents have. I board at an apartment with family friends and had lived this independent and self-reliant ever since 1st year high school at XUHS. This is the reason why at a very young age I was already exposed tom the harsh realities that the world is unkind and not everyone is as caring like the ones I hear in stories.
I have many dreams and goals that I want to accomplish. I want to be a doctor someday with BS Nursing as my pre-med. I am an achiever and I have been getting high grades but these days I seem to be over-worked and stressed out that it is already affecting my performance. But I am going to change this somehow. I can be an intellectual snob I have to admit but this doesn’t mean that I don’t make friends with my peers. In fact my peers see me as the shy, silent type with the good heart. I am an introvert and I tend to hide my feelings (except to people I have grown accustomed to and who I feel that I can trust).
I am a loyal and loving person. If I have a friend, I will forever be loyal and caring for that friend. I am the type of friend who will always try to be there always. I am really a nice person but somehow this personality is masked with a serious and self-kept person because by experience I have learned that it is the nice ones who tend to get hurt easily.
I have never been religious. I don’t frequently attend Sunday masses but somehow I am finding God once again and He has been keeping me strong.
For my hobbies, I really am not the athletic type so I tend to stay indoors most of the time. I love watching TV (especially the detective-medical stories, anime, and music channels), playing computer games (RPG Gameboy games), surfing the net, chatting, blogging, and sleeping (ZzZzZ…). I also love reading fantasy books but I don’t seem to have the time, especially during school days, to read. I also love watching movies especially the suspense-thriller type. I also love singing and listening to music. I also love lazing around doing nothing to think about things… reflecting and mostly relaxing.
Now the boring part… I am a student activist and I want to contribute to the good of all. I am a pro-government person and I will do everything to uphold justice and the rights of the people.
I don’t really have vices… but I have learned to enjoy drinking once in a while. I did try smoking but I never got addicted to it since I don’t have the time to buy hehehe… I am a coffee addict though and I simply can’t live without it!!!
What else can I say? I can be funny and daring too… Actually I am a very KSP person and I love bugging people who I am comfortable with. You can always see me with a smile but I am not plastic, I am grumpy and hot-headed when someone makes my day bad and if I don’t like someone I don’t pretend that I like that person.
What more can I say? Ah! I can have dramatic mood swings! One moment I’m depressed the other moment I’m very happy! This is the reason why I sometimes don’t get to finish my blogging because I only blog when I’m depressed. Oh yes! I hate history and memorizing things that I feel are irrelevant to me… On the other hand I love Biology and I love Nursing!!!
I used to be pessimistic but I am now optimistic and I am using the motto of the Dead Poet’s Society: Carpe Diem! Seize the Day! Every second of the day counts so the outcome of the day depends on us. We hold our destiny and we are the ones who choose to be happy or not.
And yes I can be schizophrenic at times and just talk balderdash… hehehe!
What more can I say? Ah! I love emoting that’s why I’m good at acting (well at least that is what my friends say hehehe).