Tuesday, September 22, 2009

My Answer to Casey's Question

QUESTION:

I support a kid in the Philippines who is studying nursing. IT IS HIS PASSION JUST LIKE YOURS.

I have stressed to him that FUN, RELATIONSHIPS and OTHER things can wait till after he graduates. He is in his 2nd yr now.

My question: Is this a mistake to ask him to set all these FUN things aside? If u had to do it over again, would u have had relationships, fun outings and other things? He has not set them aside but i keep asking.

Thanks for you input. I am really enjoying this blog and wish u luck on getting back into school!

Casey

Before I answer your question Casey, I'd like to thank you first for visiting my blog and I am glad that you enjoy reading my rants and occasional bouts of wisdom. I apologize if I missed your question before and I will try my best to help you with your dilemma.

So here it goes. Honestly, I believe that there should always be a balance between play and work. This is especially true with regards to the kid you're supporting. I'm not just spouting nonsense as I usually do, because in fact, my statements can be supported by Eric Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development.

Right now, your 2nd year post-secondary student is in the stages of adolescence and early adulthood. In Erikson's Psychosocial Stage 5: Identity vs Confusion, adolescents are exploring the world, developing their sense of self and independence. If you always prevent your kid from going out with friends and exploring how the real world is, your kid will be ill-equipped to face challenges ahead and he will be insecure with himself and will be unsure of the future (just like me!). But if you provide your kid with positive reinforcement, supporting him in his extracurricular activities or hobbies, then he will turn out to be a self-assured, independent, and a confident young man.

Having fun with friends and going on trips is also a great way to cope with stress from school. Because with out coping mechanisms like taking a day off from a week of studying and tests, your kid might be burnt out and we don't want this to happen as it could lead to depression and extreme fatigue which would affect his will and determination to finish his studies.

It was actually my personal choice to say no to going out with friends, especially on a school night, because I really wanted to make my mom proud of me. I always aimed to be on the Dean's List and get high grades. The only reason I said that all my hard work was useless was because I had to waste one and a half year of my life working at a dead-end job, with the ability to speak and read English as the only job requirement. I was depressed because my classmates, who never were dean listers in their life, were now graduates. But everything is great now! I have my acceptance letter from MacEwan and I already quit my job at Tim Hortons, the source of all my agony and despair.

So let your kid enjoy himself once in a while. But of course he should make his studies his priority over romantic relationships and play. Setting priorities, making a schedule, and balance are key figures to his success.

I hope my insight helped you in your decision. Take care and best of luck Casey!


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