Friday, March 24, 2006

Random Thoughts...

ON DEPRESSION…
I don’t know I have been depressed these past weeks… Maybe it’s just because I’m bored to death because I don’t have anything to do. There are a couple of good shows on TV but I don’t want to watch TV the whole day. Playing computer games is a waste of time. I try to be more productive by trying to write a short story or something but I don’t finish it because I’m not in the mood (I usually write when I’m depressed, this is when all my creative juice flows out). I want to sing but I don’t want the people in the house to hear and I’m just too lazy to open my books and study (hey I have to familiarize my self with human biology because this is my future career). What is wrong with me? I can’t wait for summer classes! I’d rather study than stay at home and rot. Well it is good to be able to be at home and rest but I want to do something worthwhile, something that gives meaning to my life.

ON LOVE…
Anyway, I hate my self for not being able to get over someone. Well I did took the risk of blurting out my feelings but I accept what happened but I can’t seem to move on. I’m still obsessed over this person. Like what is wrong with me?! My brain has totally failed me. But I have to move on… I just have to. I just hate being in love. It totally sucks if the one you love doesn’t even care that you existed. But I wonder when I will meet the one for me? But all I care about right now is to forget this person and just move on with my beloved nerdy life!

ON SELF DEVELOPMENT…
Thank God at least my whole summer wasn’t a waste of time. I did get to attend this great Leadership Awareness Workshop of the KKP-SIP (Kristohanong Katilingban sa Pagpakabana – Social Involvement Program) and I did get to see my self and it made my big head bigger. I am a good leader and people see that except that I sometime am sick and tired of always being held responsible for everything. Sure I love being the leader but I need the full support of everyone too.

I’M SCARED…
I suddenly am gripped with the realization that my future is so uncertain. I still look down at my self and my capabilities. But most of all, I am scared that I will grow all alone. But I have to be optimistic right? I am scared but I will face the future with hope and courage.

1 comment:

  1. hehehe.. me too edgar. cant wait till summer clsses start..

    ReplyDelete

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