Job Search Turns to A New Insight

For the past few weeks I've been searching for jobs because I wasn't very happy with my current work conditions at Tim Hortons. Although I was compensated well I felt that my pride can't handle being looked down upon because I only work at a fast food chain and I didn't want to be perceived as a contract worker who just came to Canada to work (no offence to Filipino contract workers). Plus there were these old Filipinos who had nothing better to do but harass me, they check on what we're doing like hawks and criticizing every action that I take.

That's why I wanted to look for another job. I've applied to several jobs and the only employers that were interested in hiring me were Save on Foods, Best Buy, and Wal Mart. I had interviews at Best Buy and Wal Mart. I actually was hired and Wal Mart and even had my orientation and tour of the store which was great because I was paid for it. But I'm not really happy with Wal Mart because I was only given a part-time cashier position and I'm only paid $9.70/hour so I'm going to inform the management tomorrow that I won't be able to commit because I get better hours and a higher pay at Tim Hortons.

I'm still expecting a call at Best Buy but I guess I'm going to have to decline because I need to get work at Saturday and Sunday too when I start school this January, and I don't think Best Buy will give me those hours. I will still have to weigh the pros and cons, like hours, the salary, the long term employment, etc before commiting to the job, that is if Best Buy hires me (I hope not).

I see Tim Hortons in a new light now. I used to get so tired and I actually hated the job but after seeing that my job pays me well and the job load isn't that bad too (depends on who the supervisor is). Plus I'm guaranteed to have a part-time job when I'm working which I really need because I need to get my own car.

I don't care what people think or say about me. All I care is that I need the money because I have bills to pay and let's face it. Money makes the world go round. And in my defense, even rich kids want to work at Wal Mart or Tim Hortons and other places because they want to earn their own money. So even if I'm Filipino, I'm no way cheap. It's true that I'm not rich but I have enough to get by and buy some of the things I want. I'm still just a student, what do you expect? I don't intend to play the who's richer game that Filipino plays because that is just plain stupid.

So I love Tim Hortons! It's a great place to work and what other people think is not important.

Lockers

I didn't know how to react to what this girl said to me at work the other day. I didn't know whether to be angry for her sarcasm or if she was only trying to be funny. She and her friends were at work and she asked if we needed any lockers, "You can put stuff inside and lock it," as she said. If I wasn't in a good mood or if their group weren't nice I would show her real sarcasm.

Anyway, yes they started telling us that they could give us a great deal because they had just helped fix up a school nearby and they had old school lockers. I wasn't really interested in the whole locker idea but when I started thinking about it our staff room could use a locker for us "to put our stuff and lock it".

I guess those guys are trying to sell those old wood lockers for them to raise enough funds to buy new gym lockers. I have to admit that those kids are really doing something great for the community and I applaud them for it.

Blame it on the Philippine Economy & Government

Honestly, I hate my life. I feel that I am the most unsuccessful loser on the face of the planet. I feel so unaccomplished and I feel like killing myself. That's right, I am sick of being someone who has nothing to be proud of except my mom and her accomplishments.

If I only knew... If I had the power to predict that I would waste one year of my life working at a store where my entire human dignity will be chewed and spat out I would have never left the beautiful life that I had. Sure I didn't afford stuff that I wanted and we didn't have a car in the Philippines but I had something that I can be proud of. I was a student at one of the best university in the Philippines. I was praised as being one of the smartest and considered as a student leader... but all of that is meaningless now... I'm just a loser...

My whole life is being challenged. My beliefs and my self worth is being shaken... The strong foundation that I have built through the years of studying well and trying to make academic and even social accomplishments are now easily uprooted and thrown into the abyss. I have nothing... I was an educated person, but once I set foot on Canada my education and my everything is deemed uncompetitive and inferior as compared to Canadian standards.

I hate being gloomy about the entire thing... I especially hate being gloomy about my life in front of my mom. I feel bad because I feel like I'm blaming her for what's happening to me... or rather, what's not happening to me. But I don't blame my mom. She meant well and she never expected this either to happen to me. If there was anyone to blame, it would be the Philippine economy and the government.

That's right! It's the Philippine economy and the Philippine government that should be blamed for my current situation. If the Philippines was like Canada, no one would ever leave the country and everyone would live a good life because everything can be afforded. I hate the stupid politicians and the idiot people who elected them and then complain about it. Seriously, after Ferdinand Marcos everything went downhill. Schools depicts Marcos as an evil corrupt man but for me he was the one that has built a great foundation for a better future but all these foundations where discontinued by Cory Aquino and even the projects of Marcos that could have benefited a lot where stopped because it was the project of the man she hates, how selfish and thoughtless.

I have so many dreams and goals... I wanted to be a great person who could contribute something to man kind... but being born in the Philippines has greatly injured my chances... I don't hate my mother land but I'm just very frustrated right now...

The Climb

Lyrics | Miley Cyrus lyrics - The Climb lyrics

I just love this song from Miley Cyrus! I'm not really a big fan of her (or a fan in fact) but when I heard this song I started to think that this girl does have the ability to inspire people. I can really relate to this song because right now I am dealing with so many stress, frustrations, and self-pity because I'm having great difficulty getting into college.

There are so many times that I've thinking of ending my suffering but I just had to remind myself that everyone has encountered life-altering problems in their lives and that they are able to get through it. My problem isn't that big if you look at it from another angle. I just have to wait it out and be patient because it just happened that there was no space in the program right now but I am eligible for admission.

Back to The Climb. If you read along the lyrics it tells us that there will be mountains after the mountain we are facing now. Life will be difficult but we can do it. I am especially captivated by the line "Ain't about how fast we get there". We all have desires that we want to achieve but we have to accept the fact that there are times that we are slowed down or redirected away from our goal but surely we can still reach it.

There were these 2 nice old Filipino couple, who are now retired and just enjoying the fruits of the many years that they have worked hard, who told me that I am still young and I still have so many things that I can accomplish. I was very happy when they called me "baby" when I told them that I was 21. I was glad to hear that they still think that I am still able to be who I want to be.

"And I, I gotta be strong. Just keep pushing on.... It's the climb!"