Family Reunion and My Pathetic Life

My life is so boring... I'm glad that at last there is something worth blogging about. Last Friday, my family and I went to West Edmonton Mall because my cousin (the daughter of my father's brother) was staying there at the Fantasy Hotel.

I think it has been years since I last saw her and I am so happy for her accomplishments. She's actually from Prince Albert in Saskatchewan and she works there as a nurse. I wish that I could also one day be like her and be able to practice the profession that I had studied and prepared for the last 3 years of my life... well before I came here to Canada that is.

I am so unhappy with my present job. I wish that I could have conquered my laziness and worked somewhere far where I could earn more and save my pride. Well there are 4 more months before I finally get to study (if ever I get admission) so quiting my job once again to look for another job is quite difficult...

Well quiting is actually easy but I don't want to give my manager another slap in the face after she took me in once again and she even gave me a raise twice! She gave me a raise when she gave me my job back and she gave me another raise when I was working again for 4 months... And I guess my job ain't that bad putting aside the harassment and ridicule that I have to put up with.

Anyway, I've noticed that my hair is extremely soft (completely out of topic!!!)! I'm just amazed because my hair is color treated so I was expecting it to be lifeless, but my hair actually looks healthier now. Weird.

Although getting a new house is already a great happening in my life, a personal change in my lifestyle (uhm... like being a student once again) is what I'm really dying for. I'll just hope for the best... once again...

How to Deal with Haters

Seriously I can't think straight these days... I'm afraid that I might go into a state of depression but I guess I still have strength in my tiny soul to pull through.

I especially loved this article I found on eHow.com that I really liked. It's called How to Deal With Haters and it has given me a new perspective with haters. Even if they say so many hurtful things to me I won't be affected because it only shows I'm on the right track to success because with success comes a pack of haters. As you become more successful your haters will only pick on you even on the slightest mistakes that you may have to gratify the deep void that they have.

So whenever anyone tries to bring you down with what ever they say just say, "Let it go... they're not worth it...".

In my experience this might be the best thing to do because if you react and curse those haters they will only feel great knowing that they have won and that they have successfully caused you temporary insanity. Ignoring them does nothing anyway because they will even hate you more because they feel insecure because you don't even give them credit for their hard work of insulting you. But ignoring them saves you the time and effort in creating a come back because haters are has immunity to hate because it is in their genes to begin with.

I'm OK

I have to admit that I was really affected with those people who kept talking about me and criticizing my every move and everything I say but I realized that I'm not the one with the problem but they are.

So as a friend has told me, I should just ignore whatever they say because seriously who the hell are they? They are nothing to me so their words should not render me powerless because they are just pathetic losers without a life.

So I'm ok. I'm fine. I love my self and I am proud of who I am.

I'm A Victim of Psychological Harrassment

I need help... but my voice is so faint and no one hears me... I feel so alone and hurt. Tears would just fall down by themselves but now all I feel is anger.

I just wanted to work and earn some money before I continue to go to school to study but I never wanted to be a center of harassment and criticism, especially by fellow Filipinos.

It sickens me because they are able to freely humiliate me and criticize me in every way possible. They criticize the way I speak, the way I act, and even my sexuality. I feel like I'm being watched the whole 8 hours of my shift because they always come to Tim Hortons to just sit and talk... unfortunately the conversations are about me, "Taga-timpla lang nang kape" or "just a coffee stirrer" in English.

The worst part is that I suffer in silence because they speak in Filipino while they all out criticize me and degrade my entire person and humanity. I confronted these group of Filipinos aged 40 or more and then they were saying that they would never do that because I'm a Filipino but I don't know why they had to lie. Maybe because they didn't want a confrontation to save themselves from embarrassment.

I have been suffering from insomnia, stress, and I really felt bad about the entire thing. I ask myself what is wrong with me to deserve such attitudes. But a friend then told me that there is nothing wrong with me, it is them who has a problem.

I wanted to change my shift but I've realized that they just want to bring me down because there is an awful gap and emptiness that they have to fill... I just wonder why criticizing me will fill that hole.

Before you find fault and criticize other people, make sure that you are completely flawless. If you think you are perfect, then you should know that using other people's weaknesses to validate your own worth just shows that you're one pathetic loser. No one in this world is perfect or the best at anything. If there is that someone then that someone is God.