Thursday, February 12, 2009

Decision Pending

These are the two words that makes me tremble and makes my tiny world be flung into utter chaos: DECISION PENDING...

Ah! It's totally nerve wracking never knowing what will happen next and I have to envision different scenarios so that I could cope with what ever will happen next. Oh gosh, the supreme euphoria of being accepted and the extreme depression if ever I don't get admission into University of Alberta is tearing me apart!

How lovely it would be if I could only be a carefree person and just shrug my shoulders and say, "Whatever..." to whatever might happen.

Whatever... LOL!

Monday, February 9, 2009

NEVER Use Dishwashing Liquid In a Dish Washer

Yup that's our dishwasher alright and yes those are soap bubbles that I had to scoop out because I foolishly used ordinary dish washing liquid instead of the standard dishwasher detergent. I know that most of the people out there know that this indeed is a very stupid thing to do but hey how should I know that?! I couldn't find our dishwasher detergent so I thought of using the dish washing liquid since I was thinking that it wouldn't matter because it is used to clean dishes right? Not a good idea...

Anyway out of this very distressing situation, and I mean DISTRESSING because our kitchen was already flooding, I did learn a few things on how to get rid of the pesky soap bubbles. Well I did a few researching, and these are the stuff that will help get rid of soap suds:
  • Fabric Softener
  • Salt
  • Vinegar
  • NEVER USE DISH WASHING LIQUID IN THE FIRST PLACE
Oh well, I'll just charge this to experience...



Curing My Social Phobia

I have to admit that I'm not a big fan of people, especially crowds. I hate taking public transit, I hate walking alone in crowded places like the mall, and I especially hate parties and gatherings with people I don't know.

I really don't have a clinical diagnosis of Social Anxiety Disorder (a.k.a. Social Phobia) but how I feel towards other people and how I react maybe qualifies me for being antisocial.

I can open up and talk to people who I am comfortable with (non-flashy, approachable, and the fellow shy-type kind of people) but I really put up an invisible defensive barrier around me when I'm out of my comfort zone (meaning being out in public).

I hate walking in crowded places because I feel like every one is staring at me and mocking me (not to be too conceited or anything, I know that they don't really notice me).

I'd also prefer staying at home than going with my parents to parties and gatherings to other people's house. I feel uncomfortable not being in my own territory. When I'm in parties I usually go with my mom or anyone I know or if the people I go with tend to socailize with others too much I just go out and hide in a solitary space.

One might be surprised how I survive working at Tim Hortons were I'm supposed to take orders from strangers and such. Well it really depends upon my mood, the number of co-workers with me, and there are days where I am the baker and I don't have to be in contact with other people so it's all good.

But I'm slowly coping with this problem of mine. Now, even if I find it troublesome, I go out with friends and enjoy. In fact this coming March 7, my friends and I are going on a skiing trip! The normal antisocial me would rather stay at home and just watch movies on my laptop but I guess socializing once in a while isn't too bad.


Friday, February 6, 2009

Some People Deserve to Die!

In a world where the good and righteous is oppressed, tortured, taken advantaged, and even killed in cold blood....

In a world where the criminals, sociopaths, bullies, and plainly evil people roam the earth freely immuned from what we call the justice system...

In a world where the powerful can step on the rights of those who are weak just because they can and because no one is willing to stand up against them...

I can't live in this world that we live in...

Constantly I fear for the lives of the ones I love as I hear grim stories of innocent people slaughtered on the streets by gangs and criminals.

I hate feeling powerless and I hate how society just sits and even protects these criminals saying that they too have rights... our world is really naive and stupid.

How I wish that I had the power to pass judgment to all those evil people out there making the world such a filthy place to live in... I would trade my soul and my whole humanity just to be able to get rid of all scum on the face of the earth. I don't care if I get my soul tainted in the process and even if I have to spend my whole eternity in hell...

It is so wrong to kill but there are just some people out there who deserve to die. For example, just this afternoon I was walking to work minding my own business when these Indian teenage boys asked for $10. Naturally I just ignored them and just walked passed them and they started cussing at me and harassing me. I just ignored them and it was fortunate that someone else passed by. Who knew what would have happened if I was all alone with those Indians. I don't want to be racist but this event left a foul taste in my mouth that I can't just spit out and forget.

Anyway on with my rant... I actually had a dream early before all of this happened. There was this white woman who went inside our car to tell us to move because we were blocking her way or something (I can't remember it that well). Anyway I got pissed off because how could we move when there were two cars ahead of us, it's not like we could just ram them over right? But I kind of felt guilty for losing my temper because I could have just reasoned with her. Anyway, she left our car (why did she enter in the first place?) and when I looked at her at the back she was mugged by this person with a gun. I was so terrified and he was about to enter our car through my mom's open door so I told her to close the door but she didn't listen because she was preoccupied with searching for something in her purse. She closed the door but it was too late, I was pulling the door close and the villain was pulling it open... I was about to lose my grip when I woke up. Seriously, I was about to call my mom to tell her to lock the door immediately when she hears me scream in a frantic fashion.

Anyway, I shared this dream just to give an example of how upset and affected I am by all the evil in the world. I want to do something about it and I want to have the power to do so. But really... In an act to get rid of all the evil people in the world, I become evil myself in the process... how ironic...



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Photo Credits to *ANARKYMAN