Busy Busy Busy

These days I have been always so busy! busy! busy! But I never exert that much effort in my studies at all these days but I still get so tired and stressed. Maybe I’m just suffering from a severe case of laziness because all I do when I reach my boarding house is sleep, sleep, sleep… I feel like Hitome in Vision of Escaflawne who just wants to sleep and fade away… hmm… fading away… this is what I want to happen to me someday… just fade away with no one ever noticing… I want to rest… Or maybe I just need strength. I need strength to be the best that I can be. I thought that I can find that kind of strength in someone else but I realize that I am the only one who can really draw that strength from me… It all relies on me…

Return Demo Tomorrow

I am so scared... actually I'm lying... I don't know why I still can afford to goof around even when I know that tomorrow is our return deminstration for the bed making... Is this a sign that I am so indolent?! Buhuhu... I hope not.

School has been tiring as usual but I am still surviving I think. My grades are satisfactory or fair but I'mnot satisfied at all. I know that I can do better but I just lack the energy to do things but starting now I will do all my best and I'll priorotize my studies over anything else.

I'm so sleepy already... I so lack sleep... ZzZzZ...

what's been happening

Life for me is bitter-sweet and I have learned to embrace anything and everything that life is all about. I'm still quite happy and I intend to be happy and I won't let stress wear me out. I have my special someone now to support me and keepmy spirits up.

It's been quite a while since my last post... things have been very crazy lately. But here I am now finding time to blurt all my feelings and ideas out hehehe....

My Headache

My head is pounding. I have a lot of things going through my head. I wonder if I have migraine or something because the pain is unbearable.

I have a lot of problems and they seem to pile up as the next school semester approaches. I need a fresh start but how can I have a fresh start when I already am carrying a lot of burden on my shoulders?

Speaking of weights, burdens, and baggage… I wish that I could move to another boarding house. I don’t want to move because of the people in my current boarding house because my landlords and board mates are great but I really need to find a place where I won’t be easily distracted. I’m doing all of this for my grades. The QPI requirement that I have to meet up has already become higher since I’m already in AHSE II so I need all the concentration I can get.

It’s really so hot today! The heat and my headache are driving me insane! There is no one I can talk to right now… I’m so sad…

Sound of Silence

This was such a beautiful day. The sun was shining brightly, the winds brought cool air, and the grass and plants were emerald green. The scene made me at peace. My soul was nourished and I felt great happiness and contentment. It was so peaceful and so quiet… well until this group of guys suddenly came out from nowhere and destroyed the very thing that I searched for, peace and quiet.

I really don’t understand teens these days. Do they have this allergic reaction or extreme hate for silence and tranquility? Is today’s youth so dulled and not to mention dumb-up by rock music or whatever they call the garbage they call music? Is the youth so used to noise that they don’t feel normal in its absence?

I am so disgusted with people who can’t shut up even for once in their life. Why can’t they be considerate enough to lower their voices so that they can’t disturb the people who want to run away from all the chaos in the world through silence?

Meditation and reflection is my way out but how can I find inner peace when stupid loudmouths surround me? Grrr!!!