Killing Myself Slowly

It has been 7 days since I started working at Quizno's Sub from a month of being jobless and it has been 4 days when I started working at Tim Hortons again and 3 days that I have been working both at Tim Hortons and Quizno's subs. And in total I have been working 9 days straight... You do the problem solving cause I don't understand my life either.

I work at Quizno's at 10:45 am to 2:45 pm and then at Tim Hortons at 3 pm to 11 pm. I work at Tim Hortons for 5 days as well as in Quizno's but I work for an additional 8 hours at Quizno's. So I only have 1 day of rest so no one can say that I am being a bum since I'm working myself to death already.

Normally, I would be lazy as you know me, but as I saw the tuition fees in university I was compelled... no, I was obligated to work because college is sooooo expensive! Even if I do get a student loan, I don't know if I can pay the government back.

I wanted to save money to buy a car but I had to prioritize my education... I'll just have to make my parents feel obligated that I will need a car during my duty at hospitals so I can use the family car (when we get one).

But my head is spinning right now from being sleepy and tired so I'm signing off as I don't know what I'm writing already...

Adoption

Nope I was never adopted if that's what is going through your silly mind right now (lol!). But I am thinking of adopting a child in the not so far future. Well some of you might ask why a 20 year old guy is thinking of adopting at a very young age but I have my reasons which of course I would share right now.

For me, I want to adopt because I want to give a home to a child who was abandoned, neglected, and unwanted. I want to give them a life free from harm and a bright future. There are thousands, if not millions, of kids out there who has no one to love them. Well I am someone who wants to open my arms to one of these kids and love them as if they were my own child. I want someone to inherit everything that I have gained in my present life and continue the legacy of me, joke.

But seriously, I'd want to have a family in the future. There are a lot of people right there who have their child aborted or they neglect their children and they don't know how blessed they are to have one.

I'd want a child in the future but after looking through the qualifications of an adoptive parent, my hopes and dreams somehow kind of dwindles. I know that an adoptive parent should be thoroughly screened so that the adopted child will be loved, protected, and provided with his/her needs but some qualifications are outrageous.

Did you know that in some countries like China, you have to be thin to be able to adopt?! Physically fit would be a good qualification but does one's weight really have to do with anything about being a good parent?

And one of the few bumps in my adoptive dream are the fact that I'm going to be a single parent. But the thing is, even if some single adopting parents are considered, they must be willing to adopt extremely disabled children and that's quite hard. But parenting is not that easy either so maybe I can take that path. And the greatest bump on my way to parenthood is my sex. Yup! Because I'm a single male I have the tiniest chance (if ever I do have a chance) of adopting. Maybe this is to protect children from pedophiles but come on, not all males are sick people in the head.

Some of my friends tell me that I should just get a surrogate mother or something but it's not like there's a baby-maker agency. I wish that adopting would be easier in the future.

Job Hunting to Job Hopping... Part 2

Ok now I'm in a deeper situation than I had expected... I have done my just in the spur of the moment decision making and I am now once again in a very difficult situation... caught in the middle as the old cliche goes.

I was really hoping that my manager at Tim Hortons would decline the demands that I had given them as I wrote here but she quickly succumbed to my requests and a little later she was asking me when I could start! I was jobless and now I have jobs all over the place (well just two anyway).

Now I was about to quit my present job at Quizno's Subs and having to sit with the two store owners, who where very nice to me, was a very unnerving situation. I was imagining that they'd throw me out of the store or something but they did something far worst: they made me feel guilty. They told me that the reason why they hired me from several people who wanted to work for them was because I told them that I wouldn't quit if ever a job that I've applied to called me up and hired me. But although I never applied back to Tim Hortons, I have to agree that I broke my promise to them and that showed a bad character on my side.

It breaks my heart to betray them like this (although they won't pay me for the days I've worked if I quit) and I am given more pressure when they told me that they are willing to take me as part time. So I can work 11 am to 3 pm for them and then 3 pm to 11 pm for Tim Hortons. I'd love to do this but I'm a lazy person. I only want to work so that my bank acount won't be empty but now I have to work not for the sake of earning money but for the sake of saving myself from the guilt of abandoning my present job whom I swore my loyalty... though spot I am right now...

Oh well I'll talk to my manger at Tim Hortons and I'll see if I can arrange something with her like if I can start working 3:30 pm to 11:30 pm or something. Oh boy... things are going to be like hell. I'm going to be a full time worker, NO!!!

But here's the catch here... if I push too much I might reach the breaking point of my manager at Tim Horton's and she might as well fire me and then if I come crawling back to Quizno's they might also drop my sorry self (although I doubt it because they really are that nice).

My life and all the dramas... I hate it.

Job Hunting to Job Hopping

I posted here about my new job at Quizno's Subs and how lucky I was to finally been "jobful" from jobless (get the joke?). But now I am in a very difficult situation because I have to choose between my new job and my old job. And by old job I mean Tim Hortons. Yup! My manager just called asking if I was interested in looking for a job at Tim Hortons. Well I knew she would call (not to be cocky and all) because my friends and co-workers asked me if I wanted to work with them again and that they would speak with the manager for me.

Well I did love working at Tim Hortons. The only thing I hated at Tim Hortons was the fact that they keep switching my schedule and that they sometimes send me to work at the other branches of Tim Hortons.

Well as I said I'm in a difficult situation because although I want to work again at Tim Hortons, it's too late since I already ahve a job and it would be too rude for me to just quit like that and that the store owner of Quizno's Subs really trust me and they are so nice to me. They always ask me if I'm ok or if I'm happy. Has Tim Hortons even care if I was happy or not? Not at all...

What's the worst part of all this ordeal? Well I somehow said that I'm dedicated to my work and if ever I made a commitment I stick to it. Literal translation? Well I told him that if ever someone hires me I won't quit at Quizno's. It's hard to quit because as I said, my current employers are nice to me, and they even help me if I'm too slow at the job that they have given me. work at Quizno's is so easy as compared to Tim Hortons and they always ask me if the schedule works for me... what better employer could I ask for?

Now my problem doesn't stop here... how can I say no to the job offered by Tim Hortons when my friends have gone all through that trouble to convince my manager to hire me...

I wonder what other people would do if they were in my place. Would they choose a good employer but with lesser pay and they suck with their job or wouold they choose an employer that pays good and they do great in their job?

Well I have never been a good planner or decision maker so I'm having a difficult time taking in to consideration the consequences...

Well I did only work 4 days at Quizno's subs and it's not like they have stopped hiring so they can find another replacement. And I have agreed that they will delay my pay for 1 month so that they can have assurance that I won't quit like in this case after 1 or 2 weeks of work. But I don't want to hurt the people who respected and looked after my well being and who fully acknowkedges my great work.

I have thought of my actions tomorrow and I haven't thought about them that hard so I'm not sure of the consequences... but this is what I'll do tomorrow:

1. At 8 am I'll give my manager a call back about her message that she left on the answering machine: If I was interested in working at Tim Hortons again.
2. I'll tell my manager that I do have a job already but I am still interested in coming back.
3. I'll tell her that I have three requests though (they are actually demands or conditions but request sounds better). My requests are (1) I only work at the 3-11 PM shift, (2) They don't send me to other Tim Hortons except for the one at 23rd Ave (that's where I live, Lol!) and (3) If possible (translation: MUST!), I could be paid $10/hour since I've already have worked at Tim Hortons for three months (even though I quit at such a short notice).
4. Now there are two possibilities: (a) My manager says I'm over demanding and I should hit the road or (b) My manager falls and crumbles to my demands (or requests).
5. If a: I stay at Quizno's Subs and live happily ever after and b: I quit at Quizno's and end up being hated and hurting two great people and I go back to Tim Hortons serving nasty customers their coffee (and being with my friends of course).

Either way I end up hurting people... but honestly I'd like it if my manager would choose Possibility A so I wouldn't have to quit and hurt my current employers. But if my manager chooses Possibility B then thios is what I'll do:

1. I won't lie to my current employers: I'll tell them how I think that how great of an employer they are and how this job is great but I have to quit because my friends have asked me to come back at Tim Hortons.
2. Get ready to be shouted at and be kicked out of the store.

All seems so easy but putting this plan into action is the hardest part... let's just see what happens tomorrow...

What Every Blogger Needs

You may have already guessed what I am going to blog about today as I have already given you very leading clues at the start of my blog entry. But you must admit that I am really right when I say that Dragon Naturally Speaking is indeed what every blogger needs.

I know that this speech recognition software is indeed a need for every blogger because I am a blogger and one of my reasons why I skip a day (or weeks) of blogging is because I am too lazy to encode. With Dragon Naturally Speaking at my side, it's like having a personal assistant jotting down my every thought and encoding it for me.

Ok, this software is not just for lazy people like me. It's most especially suited for people who have to type thousands of words each day. With Dragon Naturally Speaking you could just talk and talk and your encoded work will be ready for printing whenever you're done talking. If you're a novelist or a student writing that 1000 essay, this software can help improve your productivity as you get more words typed in less the time it takes you to type. Dragon Naturally Speaking can literally put into typing your words in 150 words per minute! I can type 40-50 words per minute. But if you think that you can beat the Dragon Naturally Speaking software, then I dare you to take the Dragon’s typing speed test!

It's really frustrating that I only get to encounter this software now. It would have been better if it already existed when I was back in school having to encode a lot of stuff.