A Heart That Bleeds

It never ceases to amaze me how some people can say and do nasty things to other people with out any hesitation. I wish I could do that too. I wish I could just hurt people and never regret it in the end but I just can't. I can't hurt other people nor do I want to hurt them. It makes me ashamed to say that whenever I do things like not saying hi to anyone I know or not being polite to anyone makes me suffer the next day.

I hate it how I tend to reflect upon my actions at the end of the day. I envy those that can just say what ever they want at the spur of the moment without any guilt what so ever. I hate it that I have a heart that bleeds so easily.

Maybe I'm just too week, letting myself be affected too much by the actions of other people. Maybe in this heartless and cold world I have to raise all my defenses if I want to save my self from emotional scars.

I'm just glad that I'm not alone whenever wrong has been done unto me because somehow I get to feel how my Savior was persecuted. I just think of Jesus Christ and I can just smile and in a way forgive.

I don't want to be a nasty person. I don't want to be someone so full of hate and negativity. I want to live my life peacefully.

Stupid Obstacles

There are several obstacles to my future right now. I had already gone through the pains of getting my school documents together and sending them from the Philippines to here in Canada and now I have to face new problems.

First I have to pass a Test of Spoken English. Well there was that English Proficiency Test too but I was able to meet that requirement because I studied for three years in Xavier University which was recognized by University of Alberta. Now I just have to pass that TOEFL iBT this coming January 10, 2009 and I'm all set. But this is better said than done because I have to get a speaking points of 26 from a range of 0-30. Who guessed that speaking English well will determine my future. People does say that my English is very good but sometimes I get my tongue twisted and I say awkward stuff.

But even if I pass that Test of Spoken English I still would have to deal with funding my education. I can get that student loan but I'm torn into two because I want to buy a car but if I buy a car then it would show that I'm not in financial need, which I am. But I guess that buying a car would be ok, I just have to buy a car less than $6,000 but what kind of car would I get with $6,000? If it has heating and it's automatic then I'm fine with that.

Life is sure full of complexities. Tomorrow I have to face my manager and tell her that I don't like it when they send me to other stores... let's see what happens tomorrow.

Ukay-Ukay in Canada

For all those who don't have even the faintest idea of what the word "Ukay-Ukay" means, worry not for I will enlighten you. Ukay-Ukay is a Filipino term for a sale of used clothes at very low prices. Ukay-ukay can be related to flea markets or any sale of second-items where by just pure luck you might find a very expensive designer item for half the price or even lesser.

Well I didn't believe my eyes when my parents drove to a Good Will shop. This Good Will shop has items that were donated by people who want to get rid of their old stuff and if you're lucky you might recieve the old expensive and designer items of a rich person.

I have to admit that some of the items were pretty decent. I got to buy some CD's of Alicia Keys and Craig David, an Anatomy and Physiology book, and some clothes. It was a bit hard to find anything my size since the people here are generally bigger in built. I did see some branded items but I also saw uniforms from coffee shops and other retail establishments. I never thought that people would be wearing work uniforms even if they don't work for that establishment. There were also some decorative items for the house, shoes, electronic items, and believe it or not, an exercise equipment which my dad happily bought, although I honestly would call it a piece of junk.

The Good Will shop is great for newcomers here in Canada but I still see Canadians (white people) buying stuff here so they too might also be looking for great bargains.

So the Good Will shop here in Canada is much like the Ukay-Ukay in the Philippines except that here in Canada you can oay with your Debit Card or Credit Card and there were lesser people.

The bottom line? Finding bargains and deals is a great opportunity for everyone so even if you live in a third world country or first world country, being able to save money and be able to buy some pretty neat stuff is a universal desire.

Some Things Stay The Same

Who would have thought that moving here in Canada would save me from my stupid brother's friends?! I mean seriously?! They come in the middle of the night and just make my life a living hell. They make a mess and they make so much noise. My only relaxation period is disrupted by people who have no decency and who have no idea that there are actually people out there who considers their home as their private get away or sanctuary.

I am so pissed off right now. I'm even more pissed off than when that stupid customer at Tim Hortons threw his half empty cup of hot chocolate at the counter. Well I'll talk about this in another post.

But wait... I think it's quiet already... they must have already left thank God! Geez! These are the moments that I want to live in a totally separate house all by my self. When I can support myself you can be sure that I'll be leaving this crazy family. Well I really don't want to leave them but having to deal with living with my brother is very agonizing!

I LOOOOVE YOGURT!

Yeah I love yogurt!!! I've been eating yogurt when I wake up and before I go to sleep because we have a lot in the fridge. I love the way yogurt tastes good and how it contributes to your health being a great source of protein, calcium, riboflavin and vitamin B 12.

Not only is it a good source of the said nutrients above, yogurt has active and living microorganisms that contributes to the body's natural defense and all. Yogurt isn't yogurt without these microorganisms.

Anyway, I love yogurt and all but I just found out that our yogurt is about to expire soon so I better start eating!