Thursday, April 20, 2006

Fame in the Family

I can’t say that my family is perfect, but I wonder if there is really a so called perfect family. But I don’t care if my family is not a perfect one because I still love my family all the same. I’m not really going to talk about why I love my family or why I sometimes have difficulties with them. I’m going to talk about my cousins.
Yes, I sure do love my cousins even though I’m not that close top them. You know what? I wonder if I really belong to our family because I don’t seem to be in the same spectrum as they are. I’m not saying that I am all so perfect but I can’t just help think why I’m so different as compared to my cousins. Don’t get me wrong. I look up to my cousins and I really am proud of them. You see my cousins are not the normal people you see on the street for these cousins of mine are extraordinary. They really stand out from the crowd because they have great physical appearances; my cousins are hot and beautiful. They also have this amazing energy that they have; they literally are the life of the party. They dress with style and they have a lot of friends. They also are very talented and very musically inclined. But my cousins are not the wanna-be’s or the trying hard social climbers for being classy and famous is in the blood of my cousins. They are not conceited and self-centered and they really are very good people.
Now, why am I so different from them? Well of course I am also famous and good looking like them because it runs in the blood, just kidding. I am totally different from them. I am an introvert and I am a nerd. But I don’t blame my cousins at all for being a little distracted because if I have the prowess of my cousins I wouldn’t care about school. But what can I do? I just love school, it’s the only thing I’m good at… buhuhu…
Anyway, even if I am not that close with my cousins I really look up to them and I so wish to be like them someday. Someday, I will make my family proud! They just won’t be proud to see me graduate with a cum laude or Magna Cum laude award, they would also be proud of me because of my other talents and skills which I hope to develop and have (hahaha).

To Be or Not To Be… Depressed…

I am once again in my state of depression. I sometimes wonder if I have a severe depression disorder that I should have consulted immediately. But I have to admit, I do love being depressed. Let’s just say that being depressed brings out the best in me. Make the best out of everything bad right? Why sulk and be unproductive while being depressed? Instead, I pull my self together and channel all my emotions and produce something creative, interesting, and substantial. This essay, if you can call this an essay, is an example of the product of my depressed state. I am sometimes amazed by the things I can do when I’m depressed as compared to when I’m in my sane yet indolent, a fancy word for lazy, self. When I’m depressed I can write short stories, essays, I can imagine things, etc.
So why am I depressed? Here’s one reason, I keep on remembering this person. God! How can I forget someone that I have grown to obsessed with?! Oh yes! It’s about that person again that I try so hard to forget. But maybe I shouldn’t forget this person… Maybe I should just make this a lesson for me… a sort of motivation. Anyway, even if I overly obsess about this person I still am sane, I think. I wonder why I always think of this person, setting up scenarios where I meet this person suddenly and I then see myself being strong and slightly arrogant, trying so hard to imply that I’m ok and create that I-don’t-need-you aura. In whole honesty, I don’t really need this person or want to be with this person. The only problem is I can’t get rid of this person in my head. Why am I stupid enough not to forget this person? I’m smart right? I’m a person of strength and dignity! But why do I stoop so low fir this person who doesn’t care or even notice my existence! Hey I take that back! I don’t merely exist! I live baby!!! Well… so I believe. But do I really live? Or do I merely exist?
Grr! See what I mean? I’m saying stupid things again to myself… But hey, it’s not as if someone that really matter would read this right? No offense to the one reading this right now.
Would you look at that! I’m getting through my depression already. Sometimes I just wish that I can just turn my depression on and off when I wanted so that I could be able to write a lot of things… On second thought, never mind! You see, I say the most stupid things when I have these strong emotions, and I end up regretting that I opened my big mouth. But wait! Hey! I should stop saying sorry! What have I done wrong anyway? Like the people around me also hurt me but I don’t hear them apologizing to me! And I have to be the one remorseful for something where they should be the one apologizing and not me. Sometimes I just wish that I can just rip out the hearts of the people I hate to know if they really have hearts, but my conscience is very strong, it’s such a pity.
Once again, Mr. Depressed is signing off… Please be with me for more depressed updates… Gosh I’m so pathetic! And that is one thing I don’t want to be. Like I don’t need anyone ok! I just want to be strong and do things by myself and succeed in life by my self. Maybe I should just get my self a canine companion in the future so that I won’t be lonely. At least a dog will really be there for me every time I go home and will listen to me and would show me affection. Comparing a human partner and a canine partner, I choose the dog more! At least the dog doesn’t hurt you emotionally. Ok I’m already sulking and putting on that I’m-not-happy-because-of-you attitude.

Sunday, April 2, 2006

The Trade with the Devil

I made a short story but it isn't finish yet... Please read and messgae me your comments wether I should continue this plot or dump it. Constructive criticism only, no flaming please... Hehehe... Thanks!
The Trade with the Devil

“Come to me son of Adam, let me take away your pain, your sorrow, and all your troubles,” calls the eerie voice from the mysterious box.
“It’s so weird! What is this? Who’s talking to me? What is that sad bizarre melody?” uttered Sam to himself.
The voice again called for Sam, “Come to me son of Adam! Let me free you from your bondage. Let me free you from your misery and torment!”
“Misery? Yes… My life is empty… I am hollow. I don’t want to feel this way. I’m so lonely, scared, and hurt. I don’t want to do this any longer!” cried Sam.
“Yes! Come to me!” the voice became louder and more intense.
“Wait! What is this? Why is this happening? Stop! Stop!” Sam helplessly screamed.
“This is what you prayed and wished for. This is what you wanted! You cannot turn back from your destiny! Give me your soul! Let me free you from your mortal self! Let me take you away from the life that you hated the most! I will give you a new life! A life of darkness without human weakness of love, joy, and all of the feelings that only man can feel!” shouted the voice.
“No! No! No! It’s the devil! No! I did not wish for this! I don’t want any of that! I was only depressed. I was only sad for a while, I don’t want anything from you!” Sam shouted in despair.
“Hahahaha! You cannot turn back! You summoned me! Son of Adam! Give me your soul and I will give you eternal life! A life without hunger, pain, or suffering! A life of the living dead! Hahahahaha!” laughed the devil.
“No!!! Stop! No! God help me!” Sam raved like a madman.

The devil’s shape and form grew more visible as the bloody red mist flowed out of the music box. Darkness was surrounding the room as the devil approached Sam, there was no where he can run to. Sam’s heart was beating furiously as the devil was reaching for Sam with its huge sharp claws. With one swipe, Sam felt a part of him taken away and he suddenly falls to his back as darkness and the cold envelopes him.

Morning finally came and the sun’s rays broke through the thick dark curtains of Sam’s windows. Sam slowly rises to his feet and tries to remember what happened.

“Why was I sleeping on the floor? What happened to me?” asked Sam. As he turned his head, quick flashbacks of what happened last night rushed through his head like continuous snapshots. “My God! It was only a dream. It should only be a dream. Oh God I wish it was only a dream,” Sam frantically said as he stares at the gold music box on the floor.
Sam rushes to the bathroom and looks at himself on the mirror. He looks fine, although he was pale and very dark eye bags formed beneath his eyes because of the sleepless nights he had ever since his nightmares began. He began filling the bathtub with hot water and then added some cold water to cool the water a bit. He dipped his hands in but strangely he did not feel anything.
“My God! No! What is going on here?” Sam panicked. He took some razor blades from the medicine cabinet and started cutting himself. To his horror blood was gushing out from his wounds but he did not feel any pain at all. He started hitting himself but he just couldn’t feel anything.
“No! It wasn’t a dream! What am I going to do? Am I… am I dead?” Sam said to himself.

Boredom...

Wala lang I'm bored... I've been sitting infront of this stupid monitor and I am bored... Like hell! My download is taking forever to finish and I am hungry! No! I'm thinking of food again! I so love foos and I just eat and eat especially when I'm depressed. It really makes me happy... hey it's better than drugs right? Anyway I just love food and I love enjoying the flavor... wait, ok Vincent snap out of it! Think about other things! Yey! My download is starting to speed up... anyway, why am I posting this? Wala lang, just want to express myself and be heard by my friends out there.It is lonely being alone and I'm glad that I have friends to call my own.And my download is done! Yey! Anyway... Uwi na ako bye! Huh? What was that all about? Sorry I'm crazy today.Like I went to school, yeah yeah I know, I'm a nerd I love school. anyway, I went early to have an edge over the other enrollees so that I'll get ahead in the line to find out that I was a day early! It so happened that the grades and the green enrollment form is to be given away tomorrow and the enrollment-proper is on wednesday, the day after! Buhuhu! I have to come back again tomorrow so that I'll be the4 first to enroll! Wahahaha! It helps being sneaky sometimes! Hey I'm still enrolling on the assigned date, the only difference is that I acquired my requirements a ay before. Hey they should give me a break, I still have to pass my grades to the Academic Affairs Office and there are a lot of scholars at XU.So I have to return tomorrow... Wait... I wonder if I spelled tomorrow right? Yup it's right. At last, I would be doing something productive this summer, staying at home is boring! I can't believe I love school thismuch. I hope that I don't have Over-Reacting and Incompetent teachers this summer classes. I'm not really saying that all teachers at XU are bad but there are a few who really aren't student-friendly and they don't create an environment conductive to learning. But I have to say all my teachers in the first sem of this school year were excellent! But sorry folks, I won't backstab the teachers I don't like here. Maybe some placelse hehehe joke. But I do love my teachers, they really are great except for a minor few.
Please visit my blog vincentbautista.blogspot.com and please do not post anything about porn. I do not want free porn and you know who you are!!! Come on! There is more to life than sex! I hate sex maniacs! Grr!!!!
Anyway, have a great summer to all. Bye! Love you guys and thanks!
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