Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Online Love Part 2

Online love is very intriguing. Can you really find love on the internet? Online love is when you join into a certain website or web community where you meet people who have the same likes and dislikes as you do. Another way is through online chatting. It may be only by chance that you will meet a person of your dreams but does that mean it’s destined? I only wonder, if finding love or friends on the internet doesn’t work, why do people continue to support this? Let’s take Friendster as a case in point. People always add you if you are physically attractive or if your profile captivates them, but do they even send you a message or anything? And to think they are called “friends” but they don’t even know the person and have no plans to either. The main reason of adding a person as a friend is for them to have friends who look good. I may be one of these suspects at times but this is how online life is. There are a lot of people and they have different reasons why they join in these so called online communities so if you want to find a person who is really interested in knowing you better just don’t keep your hopes up. Chances of meeting a person of your type are slim. Despite everything I said, I did find friends who I was able to really communicate with and express my feelings. Plus, it’s really easier to communicate with someone who you don’t really see face to face, that is if you’re an introvert like me. But I think the main thing that we have to look into is the thing called destiny or synonymously known as fate.

I hate dancing!

I really hate dancing! I am not inclined into dancing at all and I’m better off at singing. I really don’t like aerobics. It’s so frustrating because we have to perform aerobics but we don’t even have time to practice. AHSE is not really a course that conveniently offers free time for we go home every night at 6:15 pm or 6:50 pm. We can still practice but we don’t have any energy left. We have to go home and do our homeworks, read our notes, and sleep to have energy for the following day. Practicing at that late hour would be fine and it would even work if and only if I was with group members who are dedicated to aerobics and will willingly spend time to practice but the problem is I’m not with these kind of people. I’m doomed! I will fail and lose my scholarship because of PE. I hate PE too! I’m not really this active person who wants to run around and sweat. Well I do love to run around at times but I don’t want to do push-ups and I definitely hate playing basketball. I do try to like PE but I just don’t. Why is PE needed anyway and why is it important? I asked this question to my PE teacher and she answered that we have to have PE because it is already an integral part of education. But I wonder how essential it is to education, we only have it once a week and I’m not really becoming more fit to be honest. But why should I be so negative anyway? Why do have a lot of questions? The answer is I don’t know it’s just the way I am. But to tell you the truth, I would rather have biology the whole day than have PE for one hour.

Me and My Fantasy Worlds

I am really fixated into fantasy role-playing games and anime. I really want to live in a world that is different from our world now. I want to live in a place filled with wondrous things and I want to be someone who is strong and have special abilities that I can use to defend my kingdom or people. I want a world were I can really be free to do things that I want. There are times that I believe that there must be more to life than my life now so I just imagine things. In my world I have no limits because I am not just any ordinary mortal. In the real world, I am bombarded with so many problems that give me heartaches and headaches so I just want to forget them and just go to my world. That’s why I spend most of my time playing games because I tend to forget the world around me. I know that I shouldn’t do this in excess but it’s what makes me happy. I do have a social life but I find more fulfillment with my computer than with the people I usually hang out with I’m sorry to say. I am even afraid that I’ll grow up to be a serial killer because they said that most serial killers start with fantasies before they actually commit murder. But I doubt it that I’ll become a serial killer because I don’t have time to kill anyone. No I’m just fooling around. As long as my conscience is clean and I’m not hurting anyone I’ll still continue with my love for anime and computer games.

Sleeping More and Education

I really need to sleep more. I’m always tired and just want to sleep. It’s not that I’m lazy or anything but college life is really demanding. I’m not complaining because even high school was like this, hard and frustrating, but gladly I was able to survive. I think I’m already becoming an insomniac. There are times that I only sleep for two hours because either I have to study or I can’t sleep. I do have free times, Saturday night and the whole Sunday but it still is occupied with assignments and study periods. That means there really is no rest day for a student. Study, study, study is all I do but amazingly I don’t really get A’s. It’s frustrating really when I only get A-, B, or sometimes even lower marks when I really took time to study for that subject but that only means I have to study harder. I think I’m starting to become a nerd. Wait, I am already a nerd. I’m thankful that I only have to wait and bare all of this for 4 more years because after that I’m off to work. I really prefer the moving activities rather than sitting down and answering stuff. There is a flaw in my plan though. Do I still want to continue my studying and proceed to medicine after I graduate? That means 10 more years at most of studying! Ok, is it me or do I sound that I hate studying? Well my counselor did tell me that I rated the education part of my psychological exam very low so does that mean I hate school? Well I don’t really hate school it’s just that stress gets me sometimes. I am glad to be in school and I sometimes think of those people who want to go to school but can’t. I should really be thankful to be given a chance to receive education. But education is not really a thing to be given to a selected few because I believe that everyone has a right to education. Even if school is difficult and demands all my time and attention, I still love it for I know that with it I will become a more competent student. And I’m lucky that I’m not getting just any kind of education for I am given a chance to be formed by Jesuit education. Jesuit education will mold me holistically into a person with competence, conscience, and commitment, a true man for others.
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