Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Money Is The Source of Problems


I really hate money. Money makes my life so miserable. I mean if I don't have money I can't buy the things I need and want. But if I have money, I worry how to keep that money from being wasted and from being used. You can't have too much or too less of money...

Earning money isn't that simple too. I have to work in a job where I do things that I never thought I would do like serving other people. Oh well when I become a nurse (or hopefully a doctor) in the future I will have to deal with people so being in customer service may be helpful in a way. It can help me strengthen my defenses against those unlikable and rude people by birth. I really hate my current job but I have to stick to it because I don't want to waste my free time by just staying at home and doing nothing.

I have to save money for university and I want to buy myself a car. But then things go crazy again. I have to make sure that I don't have too much money to be eligible for a Canadian Student Loan from the government and I can't have a car since it will add to my personal assets which will affect my eligibility for a student loan. I also have to put in mind that even if I save enough money for a car, I have to continue paying for gas and the car insurance so getting a car is not a great option if I plan on being a full time student. Oh well, guess I have to use the family car to get to my duty areas since my dad doesn't use it to go to work.

Sometimes, money can cause a strain in relationships. I have a friend from the Philippines who wanted to borrow 530 Canadian dollars (that's 20,000 Philippine Pesos) since my friend is having some financial difficulty. I have the money but I was having a hard time deciding whether I should lend my friend the money or not. It's a pretty huge sum (2 weeks pay) but if I don't help my friend in times of need then can I really call myself a friend? It's really hard when there are times you need money but your friends don't help you out because they are afraid of losing money. These are the times of hardship where you can tell your friends from the rest. I was also afraid of losing money. My brother doesn't pay me back the money he owes me and we live together, so what certainty do I have that my friend won't just run away with my money since my friend lives far away. Sure I can sue my friend or chase after my friend through legal means but then it would take time, effort, and more money. Plus it would lead to the end of our friendship, and I don't want that to happen.

But I lent my friend the money anyway because I place my trust and faith in this friend and that I want to be of help during this time of need. I just hope that I made the right decision because $530 is no laughing matter. I really hate worrying about money.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Why Are We So Different?

I really wonder why my brother and I are like opposite charges. Of course I'm the positive one and my brother is the negative. It's like we were raised by two different set of parents although it must be noted that we grew up in totally different environments.

I grew up in an environment where I was first mixed with "normal" Filipino kids and then suddenly sent to a new environment where the kids are privileged. By privileged I mean stinking rich with matching body guards and servants in uniforms. I was placed in an environment where I have to constantly prove my worth by making sure that I have several note worthy achievements. I was faced with high expectations from everyone and this pushed me to work harder. I had to live by myself while I studied in a high school in another city far away from home. I had to buy food from the grocery by myself, budget my allowance, and I had to do everything by myself because I lived alone. I was taught how to be independent and self-capable.

My brother on the other hand went to an average school, met average people, and my parents never expected anything from him, well except to pass and graduate that is. My brother is a spoiled brat and it is my parents who have to put extra effort in making sure he graduates from high school by doing his homework, influencing his teachers to make him pass, and they even have to waste hours trying to wake him up in the morning so that he can go to school. He is literally spoon fed and everything is given to him which never happened to me. Everything he needs is given to him and he never even have to ask for it.

Imagine asking your mom when you were a kid what a word meant and then she tells you to look it up in the dictionary while my brother on the other hand would never ask what that word means so my mom would be the one to tell him what that word meant so that he'll learn something. This is exactly how our situation is.

But I really blame my parents for how rotten my brother turned out to be. Since my parents allows him to do everything he wants, he is always out of the house and he smokes, drinks, and I presume that he does drugs too (he was already caught with marijuana and was almost expelled if it weren't for my parents). If he's not out of the house, he brings his equally pathetic and self-absorbed friends who are too busy trying to look cool and are too occupied with having fun that they forget that they should prepare for the future too and that whatever they have today is temporary.

I'm really sorry for my brother because I know that he's just wasting his life and his future. He was given an opportunity to study here in Canada and live a great life but he wastes it on his so called friends... but I shouldn't worry really, he's not my son. He's not my problem anymore. My parents aren't doing anything so why should I?

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Knowledge Could Save You

I recently went to a friend's house for a little gathering and it is there that I met his uncle who suffered a stroke. I was amazed by his story and his fight for his life. He was really blessed because even after being half-paralyzed due to his stroke and his open-heart surgery he is still doing well and is still active.

My friend's uncle was really lucky but not every one will be blessed like that. That is why everyone especially those at high risk of heart conditions should know more about how their heart works, how different heart complications will affect the heart's and the circulatory system's functions, and most important of all, how one can prevent acquiring these problems.

I believe that knowledge could save you and that's why I really recommend that everyone checks out heartlibrary.com because it is the website that has videos and contents about the anatomy of the heart and common heart problems. Real doctors who specializes in hearts and the circulation system informs you about the said topic with an easy to understand language. The website is also a great source for finding a doctor near you and other important tidbits of information.

So as the saying goes, Knowledge is Power!



Saturday, December 27, 2008

Boxing Day

Today was quite ok. It was quite busy but I'm kind of used to it. I already came back to work since my back has fully recovered and I didn't want to lose any more potential earnings.

It was quite sad that I wasn't able to come with my family shop today especially when it's Boxing Day. But what is Boxing Day really? Well it's a day when stores have these huge sales and discounts. The savings for these sales are so great that people will literally camp out and wait in line before the store opens. Boxing Day was supposed to be a day of goodwill to the less fortunate but guess it's more of an after Christmas shopping holiday.

But going to work today rather than going shopping was way better because I wasn't tempted to spend money (yes I'm a compulsive buyer) and bargain hunting at crowd-filled stores is not my idea of fun. Besides there isn't anything that I want to buy. Well I do want to buy that HP laptop that has a touch screen which could rotate 360 degrees but I kind of think that it's not worth it because I already have a laptop. I suddenly regret buying an overly expensive desktop which I don't like using anyway because I prefer using my laptop which I could carry around anywhere the house.

Anyway, at least my mom was happy today. She got to buy an Olympus Camera which has 8 Megapixels and is waterproof and shockproof for a very reasonable price too! And she also got an Altec Lansing speakers for her desktop for I think $20! That's a very sweet deal.

There are so many things I want to buy but then I realize that I don't really need them. So I'm quite thankful that I don't frequently go to malls and I don't use my credit card to buy stuff online anymore because I might do something hasty like buy an iPod Touch which I rarely use now. So Boxing Day is not a good holiday for me, but if I have a Million Dollar then you better move out of my way because I'm going shopping! Lol! So much for self restraint.

Friday, December 26, 2008

My Abnormality: My Right Hip

I went to see a Physical Therapist one day as recommended by my examining doctor. I was hoping that the Physical Therapist will give me a massage or some sort of treatment for my aching lower back pain which was actually improving already.

But instead of my anticipated massage (yes I love body massages) the doctor only gave me a thorough physical assessment which I really appreciated. I was even more amazed with the assessment of the doctor when he noticed that my right hip has a limited range of motion as compared to my left hip. So he concluded that this partial mobility of my right hip may have contributed to my frequent lower back pains. So you see, if my hip doesn't rotate well, it is my lower back which would need to twist and turn so my back is easily strained.

Well the doctor did also comment that for a 20 year old, my back isn't that strong yet so I was a bit ashamed of my unfit self and sedentary lifestyle. So I think I have already found one 2009 New Year's Resolution! I will make use of the Tony Horton's 10 Minute Exercise DVDs that I bought so I can get some exercise.

Monday, December 22, 2008

My Wish: Good Health

Christmas is fast approaching and I've got to admit that I'm not that excited really. Christmas isn't that exciting anymore here in Canada. It's my first white Christmas here in my new home but I kind of feel that there is something missing. And I bet that that something are my friends and other loved ones who I have left behind in the Philippines.

Before I was excited for Christmas because of the gifts and all but now that I can afford to buy whatever I want I have realized that Christmas here in Canada is very commercialized. It's only about gifts, the decorations, and the food. Back in the Philippines Christmas was more on the real reason for Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ.

Anyway, the past few days I've been thinking of what I would want for Christmas and after being bed-ridden for 4 consecutive days, missing work and being in agonizing pain, because of a lower back injury I have realized that good health is a great Christmas gift. I used to laugh at older people wishing other old people good health for Christmas but now that I am in such pain I suddenly realized how important and priceless good health really is. I'm just glad that my condition is improving.

I have missed work for 4 days already, a huge loss of potential earnings for me, and I didn't even have the chance to study for my coming TOEFL iBT exam this January 2009. I know what you're thinking, what have I been doing all along while I was at home? But if you were in my place, you wouldn't have the chance to think of studying because of my nagging lower back pain when I sit, stand, lay down, walk or do anything. I couldn't even sleep because of the extreme pain. The only thing that could relieve my pain was a long hot bath or a hot shower but the pain would just come back again. But now I am able to sit and lay down flat on my back with out the pain anymore so this is really a great improvement!

I just have to show up tomorrow for my physical therapy and I'm sure that I'm going to be able to work soon and be fit enough to study and prepare for my TOEFL iBT exam. My holidays are starting to be brighter all along.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

A Heart That Bleeds

It never ceases to amaze me how some people can say and do nasty things to other people with out any hesitation. I wish I could do that too. I wish I could just hurt people and never regret it in the end but I just can't. I can't hurt other people nor do I want to hurt them. It makes me ashamed to say that whenever I do things like not saying hi to anyone I know or not being polite to anyone makes me suffer the next day.

I hate it how I tend to reflect upon my actions at the end of the day. I envy those that can just say what ever they want at the spur of the moment without any guilt what so ever. I hate it that I have a heart that bleeds so easily.

Maybe I'm just too week, letting myself be affected too much by the actions of other people. Maybe in this heartless and cold world I have to raise all my defenses if I want to save my self from emotional scars.

I'm just glad that I'm not alone whenever wrong has been done unto me because somehow I get to feel how my Savior was persecuted. I just think of Jesus Christ and I can just smile and in a way forgive.

I don't want to be a nasty person. I don't want to be someone so full of hate and negativity. I want to live my life peacefully.



Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Stupid Obstacles

There are several obstacles to my future right now. I had already gone through the pains of getting my school documents together and sending them from the Philippines to here in Canada and now I have to face new problems.

First I have to pass a Test of Spoken English. Well there was that English Proficiency Test too but I was able to meet that requirement because I studied for three years in Xavier University which was recognized by University of Alberta. Now I just have to pass that TOEFL iBT this coming January 10, 2009 and I'm all set. But this is better said than done because I have to get a speaking points of 26 from a range of 0-30. Who guessed that speaking English well will determine my future. People does say that my English is very good but sometimes I get my tongue twisted and I say awkward stuff.

But even if I pass that Test of Spoken English I still would have to deal with funding my education. I can get that student loan but I'm torn into two because I want to buy a car but if I buy a car then it would show that I'm not in financial need, which I am. But I guess that buying a car would be ok, I just have to buy a car less than $6,000 but what kind of car would I get with $6,000? If it has heating and it's automatic then I'm fine with that.

Life is sure full of complexities. Tomorrow I have to face my manager and tell her that I don't like it when they send me to other stores... let's see what happens tomorrow.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Ukay-Ukay in Canada

For all those who don't have even the faintest idea of what the word "Ukay-Ukay" means, worry not for I will enlighten you. Ukay-Ukay is a Filipino term for a sale of used clothes at very low prices. Ukay-ukay can be related to flea markets or any sale of second-items where by just pure luck you might find a very expensive designer item for half the price or even lesser.

Well I didn't believe my eyes when my parents drove to a Good Will shop. This Good Will shop has items that were donated by people who want to get rid of their old stuff and if you're lucky you might recieve the old expensive and designer items of a rich person.

I have to admit that some of the items were pretty decent. I got to buy some CD's of Alicia Keys and Craig David, an Anatomy and Physiology book, and some clothes. It was a bit hard to find anything my size since the people here are generally bigger in built. I did see some branded items but I also saw uniforms from coffee shops and other retail establishments. I never thought that people would be wearing work uniforms even if they don't work for that establishment. There were also some decorative items for the house, shoes, electronic items, and believe it or not, an exercise equipment which my dad happily bought, although I honestly would call it a piece of junk.

The Good Will shop is great for newcomers here in Canada but I still see Canadians (white people) buying stuff here so they too might also be looking for great bargains.

So the Good Will shop here in Canada is much like the Ukay-Ukay in the Philippines except that here in Canada you can oay with your Debit Card or Credit Card and there were lesser people.

The bottom line? Finding bargains and deals is a great opportunity for everyone so even if you live in a third world country or first world country, being able to save money and be able to buy some pretty neat stuff is a universal desire.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Some Things Stay The Same

Who would have thought that moving here in Canada would save me from my stupid brother's friends?! I mean seriously?! They come in the middle of the night and just make my life a living hell. They make a mess and they make so much noise. My only relaxation period is disrupted by people who have no decency and who have no idea that there are actually people out there who considers their home as their private get away or sanctuary.

I am so pissed off right now. I'm even more pissed off than when that stupid customer at Tim Hortons threw his half empty cup of hot chocolate at the counter. Well I'll talk about this in another post.

But wait... I think it's quiet already... they must have already left thank God! Geez! These are the moments that I want to live in a totally separate house all by my self. When I can support myself you can be sure that I'll be leaving this crazy family. Well I really don't want to leave them but having to deal with living with my brother is very agonizing!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I LOOOOVE YOGURT!

Yeah I love yogurt!!! I've been eating yogurt when I wake up and before I go to sleep because we have a lot in the fridge. I love the way yogurt tastes good and how it contributes to your health being a great source of protein, calcium, riboflavin and vitamin B 12.

Not only is it a good source of the said nutrients above, yogurt has active and living microorganisms that contributes to the body's natural defense and all. Yogurt isn't yogurt without these microorganisms.

Anyway, I love yogurt and all but I just found out that our yogurt is about to expire soon so I better start eating!

Traveling Nurse: A Goal for the Future

I have been thinking about my future and my career and I have already decided that there is no turning back for me and no more seconds thoughts because I am going to be a nurse for sure. But as I have been exposed to the clinical area as a student nurse I have realized that there are different areas in nursing and there are several career paths that I could take as a nurse.

I could be a clinical nurse specialist, nurse anesthetist, nurse administrator, or even a military nurse. But the nursing career option that is very enticing right now is to be a traveling nurse! Yup there are so many travel nursing jobs out there since there is really is a high demand for nurses.

Being a traveling nurse is great because not only do you get excellent pay and invaluable work experience in notable institutions, you get to travel all around the world too! Imagine, you can work in New York for example, and when winter comes and it becomes chilly you can travel and work in Hawaii!

I have to admit that I love traveling and being able to see all the sights and sounds of different cities and communities is better than having to live a life that is monotonous and just filled with daily routines.

I know that it's too early to really decide what I want to do in the future but becoming a traveling nurse is one of my top three career choices!



Wednesday, December 10, 2008

How To Lose A Friend in One Second

I have to be honest and admit that I have a very nasty temper. I rarely get mad but when I do I really lose my composure and calm. I'm like a bullet fired from a gun and nothing can stop me until I hit someone in the heart head on. But it's not unusual for me to blow up like that because I tend to keep all the frustrations, anger, and tension with in me so when I get the chance to rant and rave I will not stop until the scene is bloody red.

Fine I have an anger management issue but my co-worker can testify that I had a reason to be angry. Imagine, I was left all alone to take orders from so many people and then I make one tiny mistake of applying a discount to an order and then here comes my other co-worker telling me that I made a mistake yada yada in front of the customer who I served in a very scandalous manner. So if she wants a show in front of everyone then I'll give her one. I took her head on with her complaints and told her to just give that customer his order and I'll pay for the discount that I've applied and then she asks me why I'm mad?! Geez... seriously!

Well I could have just shut up and let the issue blow away like always but it's just that I was tired, grouchy, and I was sort of angry with them for leaving me in front while they just stayed at the back talking and all. I was angry because my job would be easier if they did their jobs too! Although she was assigned to do the dishes that day, there was absolutely no reason for her to just stay at the back when she's already done with her dishes. I was angry because she just ignores the fact that there is a big line up and she just passes by the customers and leave me to deal with them alone.

I was told by a co-worker that she only said those things she said because she cared about me adn she didn't want me to do that mistake again so that my manager and other supervisor won't be angry with me but the thing is she already played their part by shouting at me, "Why did you do this and bla bla bla!" She's always like that, blaming everyone except herself because she's always right and all perfect.

But guess what? Even though I feel bad for what happened and even if I did consider her as a friend, I am not hesitant to lose her as a friend because enough is enough. Friends don't leave their friends alone stressing out in a long line up and then just tell you "Why didn't you call us when it's busy?" Why? I'll tell you why. If you weren't staying at the back chatting and all I wouldn't have to call you right?

Geez... some people... SERIOUSLY!!!

Monday, December 8, 2008

My Future Is Brighter!!!

I am so happy today! I was thinking that my school documents were still flying around the world in some plane but when I tracked it down with the FedEx website I was thrilled to discover that the University of Alberta has finally received my papers and now I have a brighter future!

I'm very happy because I feel that finally everything is coming together great and if this keeps up I can finally be at ease and give out a sigh of relief. But I know that the challenge does not end here and having to re-study everything that I already learned and take the tests which were so hard to pass all over again is a huge challenge.

But I am prepared to take those challenges head on because I really want to finish my university and I want to finish my BS Nursing because this is who I know I can be and who I want to be someday.

Christmas Party

I am quite excited for this year's Christmas Party. Well I am excited for Christmas each and every year but this Christmas is very different from other past Christmas celebrations because this is our first Christmas here in Canada. In my 20 years of existence it is only now that we will finally have our very own white Christmas.

But what better ways to celebrate Christmas but with other people right? All Kagay-anons or Filipinos from Cagayan de Oro are going to have a get together and enjoy Christmas with each other's presence. Being with other Filipinos makes the Christmas less lonesome especially for those who miss their families and friends back in the Philippines.

I'm not in charge with the planning and logistics of the party but I do have great ideas for a Christmas party! Well the ideas are not originally mine. If you really want great ideas and if you're looking for inspiration then you might want to visit celebrations.com.

It is there that I found out about different Christmas party games, decorations, and food like Christmas candy recipes! What would Christmas be with out good old candy right?

I'm sure that even if I'm not into parties that much, sharing this info would be a great contribution to a successful and fun Christmas party!



Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Hold On

It's now 1:40 pm and there's a snow shower right now. I have to get to work soon but I've decided to do some quick blogging. Gosh the wind is so strong, I better put on more clothing on as well as something to place on my head because I just had a nasty "brain freeze" yesterday.

I'm amazed that I'm able to hold on until this day. My deadline for my university documents was yesterday but it will be sent from the Philippines today (hopefully). I just wish I get into university pretty soon.

Oh yeah I was fired from Quizno's because they've finally found a full time employee. I'm quite glad with their decision because I don't think my sanity and body can keep up with the added pressure. I just am a bit sad that my earnings would drop. I get a $400 paycheck with them for my part-time there and it's still a loss for me.

Anyway just want to share David Archuleta's video of Hold On. This is my most favorite track from his album. Most favorite because I love every song in his album and this one just happens to stand out. I love the way he sings and how he brings life into the song with out any of those voice manipulation and sound effects.

With out further delay here is David Archuleta singing Hold On:



Sunday, November 30, 2008

What A Day

Woah this day has been pretty exciting and I'm just glad that it's over. Well I woke up today at 10 om because I slept late last night (nothing exciting... yet...). So my parents wanted to go to South Common to go shopping since we already have a car we can just drive around to the far flung stores which we would never go to because they are inaccessible for people (like us before) who didn't have a car before.

Shopping was fun and all and I was somehow forced to buy another iPod Touch, this time a 16 GB one, beause my brother wanted one too and because I'm a great brother I gave him mine... well actually I sold my iPod to him since he liked it so much for $100. I was able to buy a game for the PS3, actually my brother was the one to buy it, and so I was quite happy with my day. The best part of my day today was when we dropped off at 7-Eleven since my mom wanted to buy bus tickets (yes, my parents won't use the car that much to save gas, weird huh?) so I was able to buy my mood uplifter, chocolates!

But my mood wasn't uplifted at all when my dad almost wrecked our brand new car. He's so proud that he's an experienced driver but he keeps forgetting one basic rule, always check your mirrors for any cars behind you and beside you. Plus don't occupy the middle of the road, stay at the left side if you want to continue forward and the left if you have plans of turning left. He disregarded this basic rules and so he wrecked a lady's bumper! Good thing our car just had a single small unnoticeable scratch which could easily be waxed off or something.

But we have to pay the lady $800 to $1000 to replace her bumper. We decided to have a private settlement rather than having our insurance company involved because if we did then we should expect our premiums to go way up. Geez! My dad is so stupid sometimes. How could he not see that car behind him when our car had a rear view camera?! And he's so good at passing the blame at us saying why we didn't tell him there was a car or why didn't we check. Uhm you're the driver not us so what would happen if you're driving on your own? My mom didn't allow him to bring the car tomorrow because if he had an accident after just a few days we brought the car home (an accident which was purely his fault) then there's a greater possibility that he'd have abother accident (this time a major one).

Imagine, he occupied the middle of the two-way road so when this car was going towards us there was no space anymore so my dad placed the car on reverse and drove back without checking the car behind him. And just a few minutes before that we almost had a collision with anbother car because he made a lane switch without even checking if there was a car behind and he forgot to use the signal light.

I may not have enough experience in driving but I could say that my dad could be a candidate for Canada's Worst Driver: He forgets to put his seat belt on, he has no sense of direction, he forgets to lock the car, he doesn't know how to follow some traffic signs, he doesn't even know how to use our car's features!

Thank god we have a big SUV because if we ever had an accident because of my dad's negligence then I'd know that we'd be safe but our car would be a wreck.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Our First Car: A 2009 Nissan Pathfinder SE


Today is a very special day for us, me and my family. Who would have guessed that it is only in Canada that we could get our first brand new car. Well we did have a car back in the Philippines, but we only had a Toyota Jeepey that was so old and worn-out that we don't even use it.

I used to be ashamed to be seen in our old jeepey but now I can be confident that other people won't look down at us. Many people have said that we won't be able to get this car because we don't have a credit history and we should go for a cheaper car or a used car instead but I guess that they will be blown away when they see us in our brand new 2009 Nissan Pathfinder. We may not have a credit history because we are still new here but we do have money from the Philippines that we brought here. All those years of having to ride the jeepney and having to live in a very small house in a small neighborhood in the Philippines finally paid off because we saved enough money to afford the lifestyle here. But even if we didn't have that much money a great lifestyle here is easily attained.

It's sad but here in Canada (as well back home in the Philippines), "If you don't have a car then you're nothing," as said by the Millwoods Welcome Center person and yes I have to agree with him because a car is not only a status symbol it is a NEED. Why? Well it snows here in Canada and waiting for the bus stop in the freezing cold is nothing to be happy about. Plus the places here are so far apart because the city here is very big.

Anyway we took our new baby home to our apartment and let me say that driving it home was a bit stressful. Since we're still new in Canada we really didn't know the way home other than the bus route so we had to ask the sales person to print some directions from Google Map so that we can get home.

My dad had some trouble getting used to the traffic signs here because the traffic rules and signs here in Canada are different from the Philippines. Plus the road names in Canada are a bit confusing. For example, there's a 50 street Northwest Bound, 50 street Southwest Bound, 50 street Westbound, and so on and the streets and avenue here are somehow confusing.

Well we did manage to bring home our SUV and park it in our apartment's underground parking safe and sound so it was really a night for celebration. Our family friends came at our house (the ones who adopted us in their home for one month before we moved in to our own place) so we went on a joyride, our SUV is a 7-seater so we had room for everyone. We went downtown to watch the Christmas lights and grabbed some pizza on our way home.

Today was really an amazing day. I can't wait for next year when I'll get to get my very own GDL Class 5 Driver's License (I only have a learner's Class 7 license)! I can take our car whenever I have a duty in the hospital or to get to school or I could buy my own car, yes by the time I get my license I could afford to buy my own car with my earnings and with my mom's help of course.

I'm glad that our lives here is getting better. Now we only have to wait a year or more then we could finally buy our own house. And perhaps I could finally go to school... my life is not over yet as I have thought. There are still great possibilities and getting a brand new car when everyone else said we couldn't proved to be a great motivation.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Missing The Philippines

I can't help but miss my old life in the Philippines. As an old saying goes, you'd never know what you have unless you lost it. Now that I live in Canada this saying is pretty much applicable to me.

There are times that I can't help but think that moving to Canada was a HUGE mistake. It feels like my life was a train going smoothly through a carefully laid track to success and happiness but all of the sudden, immigrating to Canada derailed my life and now it's a total mess and disaster... I don't know if I'd ever get my life back on track.

I never knew how happy I was being with my friends... they made me very happy and they made me feel that I was actually alive. They've played a role in helping me survive each and every single day. Studying was not easy but I just realized that I lived such a luxurious life. Back in the Philippines, I never worked a sweat and I was given money to spend. and now, I have to work to get what I want and to save up for my future. I was studying in one of the top universities in the Philippines and now I have a slim chance of getting into a good college next year (I can get into a University but I don't want to wait longer). I never did try my best in getting good grades and getting through every single day but now I have to give it my all just to prevent myself from going insane.

Back in the Philippines I had a life, but now I have nothing... well I do have my family but I feel that there is something missing in me...

I used to be happy and glad to be here leaving poverty and hardship behind but now I want to go back and be a middle class again because here we're just a low-earning family. We're not considered poor but we don't have a car and house that we can call our own yet so life can be pretty difficult.

But as usual... I am a Filipino, and I am a survivor...


Sunday, November 23, 2008

Speech Recognition Is Cool

I can't believe that I had a speech recognition software in my computer. I was just looking around in my computer for a way to activate my microphone and I found out that Windows Vista actually had a voice recognition program, how cool is that?! This neat little software can transform my words into text and can understand my commands and going through Windows without the help of a mouse and keyboard was easy.

So now, all I have to do is sit back and relax and just tell the computer what to do. You may call me lazy and all but this is actually productive because I save time and effort. I can actually type more words by just saying them then actually typing them.

I actually typed this entry by just speaking. Well to be honest, typing this entry using speech recognition actually took more time because the computer needed to recognize my voice and is still learning my voice.

Well, the technology is still new so there's still more areas for improvement . I can't wait until we can speak to our computers normally like we are talking to another human being.

Notice

To Whom It May Concern:

The owner of this blog is having a temporary brain shut down. All topics, subject matter or whatever is related to life, love, money, school, work, family, etc is currently put on hold and will not be discussed until further notice.

We apologize for the inconvenience but this must be done to maintain the sanity of this blog owner.

Thank you.

Friday, November 21, 2008

From Fingers to Meteors

Ooh what a day today was. First I go out of the house with an ear-chilling -11 degrees Celsius wind and then go to work at my first job. I'm a bit down and frustrated at first because they haven't given me my paycheck for this week (hope they will give it tomorrow). My second job is better because they pay me promptly on the same day every two weeks. My only complain is that their pay is not proportional to all the hard work I'm doing for them.

Anyway, I'm hoping that tomorrow would be a better day. By better I mean getting my paycheck already so that I can deposit my checks by Saturday morning.

Today was a bad day because I cut my left thumb while I was mindlessly cutting bread. Doing repetitive stuff like pouring coffee and asking the same old questions every day like "Do you want this on white or brown bread?" makes one's sanity go *poof!*. It doesn't hurt that much but I hope it doesn't get infected because I can't afford to get sick.

So what new is happening here in Edmonton and in my life? In my life, everything is ok... boring but ok... well not really that ok. It so happened that my University from the Philippines will be late in sending my documents to my future University here in Canada. I had a gut feeling that this will happen even though I sent my request letter for my transcripts and course description way back last September. What can you expect from a school who is more money oriented than the welfare (not to mention the future) of it's students.

Anyway, one thing cool did happen today and it was the meteor shower here in Edmonton. I heard about it because a customer shared about it and here is a video about it:

http://canwest.a.mms.mavenapps.net/mms/rt/1/site/canwest-globaledmonton-pub01-live/current/launch.html?maven_playerId=globaledmontonhomepage&maven_referralObject=3211525

Hope more interesting happens tomorrow, most especially the getting paid part bwahahaha!


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Payday! My Favorite Day!

Yeay! Today was payday at one of my 2 jobs. It's actually not that big but at least I have money right? I can't wait for my payday at my other job, maybe this friday. But I guess I won't be saving much this week because I have to pay my credit card bill. I know, I know... I said that i would stop spending and start saving. But what can I do? David Archuleta made me buy an Ipod Touch.
Well he didn't told me to buy an Ipod, it's just that I can't play his album that I bought from iTunes on my Walkman Phone so I decided to buy an iPod. I wasn't going to buy an iPod Touch but if I was going to buy one, I might as well buy a good one right? I really love my iPod but I'm thinking of buying another one that's 32 GB because the one I have right now is 8 GB only. But I really don't need that much space and I really need to save up for my school next year.

Speaking of school, my friend from the Philippines who I have asked to follow-up on my school documents have e-mailed me saying that we are close to our goal. There might be delays but the guy that I've talked with from the International Office of the Registrar at my future University (hopefully) said that being late for a week is ok since I've applied for the Fall term 2009 which of course is still a year way.

So this is all of my "new stuff" that's happening to me right now. So later days!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Being Beautiful

It wasn't busy at work today so my co-workers and I had time to talk to save ourselves from dying out of boredom.

One of my co-worker was complaining how her skin is so dry and that she looks older as the days passes by because of stress. This started the never dying discussion of beauty products. We then shared our experience with certain beauty products and how they improved our skin and all. One of my co-workers recommended Meaningful Beauty as a great age-defying cream. It felt like we were in a talk show or something.

But it is true that one must rely on the experiences and reviews of others with beauty products. Reviews are needed because with the numerous products out there in the market it would be impossible to start trying each and every product out there. It would be like starting your own research which will require time, money, and effort.

Fortunately enough for us people who consider our appearance as important, there are websites such as beautifulreview.com that serves as our map in finding that miracle product that will turn our imperfect skin days into I-love-my-skin days. I'm going to share this website to my co-workers tomorrow and I know that they'll surely thank me for it.



Wednesday, November 12, 2008

An Update...

I kind of imitated someone's blog title right now but that doesn't matter right now. Well today I've been a very bad boy. I kind of woke up late so I called my manager that I needed to go to University today to beg and plead that my deadline for my documents and papers, which still needs to be sent from the Philippines, be extended.

Well what I said was actually true, the bad thing is that I didn't go to University today but I just called up the Office of the Registrar. So I could have went to my job but I felt lazy and I wanted to stay home and clean the house. The good part of this all is that the guy that talked to me on the phone said that it would be okay for me to send my documents a week later after the deadline since I'm applying for Fall Term 2009 anyway which is still very very far away.

So I was bumming around the house until 3:00 pm. I decided to walk down to the bank to deposit my check (yes Quizno's did pay me, my manager said he forgot to give me my check, yeah right).

I arrived home started cleaning and everything was going on. I decided to take a picture of my house when it's still clean and nice looking but I wasn't finished because my stupid brother and his friends came. Like it would be okay if we had a huge house so that he and his friends could just stay at one room or something but we only have a small apartment. So our (more of a "my") privacy is compromised. I was going to arrange and organize the kitchen stuff but I didn't want to be seen cleaning by strangers. Sometimes my stupid brother don't know how to think adn is selfish enough not to care that we need our privacy too. It's not like he calls up and tells us his bringing friends so that we could tidy up the place right but hell, he's my parent's problem not mine.

Anyway that pretty sums up my day. I just realized that I should have went to work in the morning since I totally wasted that time typically doing nothing. So ta ta, later days!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Listening to David Archuleta Right Now!


I just downloaded the whole album of David Archuleta's new debut album (legally from iTunes Store of course!) and all I can say is that I'm loving his songs right now. every track has this catchy beat that is great for chilling out and relaxing!

And I blame David Archuleta for buying myself an iPod touch online. I just realized that my phone can't play songs downloaded from iTunes store since they are protected or something... tsk tsk... But I guess buying an iPod is a good idea. Almost everyone here in Canada has one plus it can double as my organizer and portable gaming console. iPods are really amazing devices!

I just bought myself an 8Gb Ipod Touch since I really can't use up all that space and I'm pretty sure that there will be new iPod models in the not so far future so I don't want to buy an iPod that has too much memory than what I really need.

I just wish thay Quizno's give me my paycheck this week so that I can have oney ready in my bank when I need to pay my credit card but I'm sure that my paycheck from Tim Hortons will cover my credit card bill. I swear if Quizno's don't pay me this week I will quit. I don't work for free.

Monday, November 10, 2008

David Archuleta's New Album


Some of you might know by now that I am a huge fan of David Archuleta. That is why I will support David Archuleta by pre-ordering his debut album at iTunes!

I'm not usually the type of person who buys albums or songs (because you can just download them for free! *evil grin*) but because I am a fan and I want to hear more of little Archie's songs in the future so I bought his album which will release this November 11! I can't wait to download his songs on iTunes!

Anyway I have been using iTunes to download songs because I find it more convenient than going to the music store to buy albums. On iTunes I can preview the song and check it's rating and popularity before I buy a song. I love how I can pick the songs I like rather than buying the whole album.

Since I'm loving iTunes it kind of made me think that I should also buy myself an iPod Touch but then I'm thinking that it would be a waste of money since I don't listen to music that much these days since I'm working and that I already have my 8gb W960i Sony Ericsson phone to serve as my mp3 player...

I really hate it when I have a credit card. It doesn't compliment my being a compulsive buyer. There was this time when I was in a store with my credit card and then I had the urge to buy a Wii gaming console. Good thing I thought it out and I was able to prioritize my needs and instead of spending money I was able to save money.

Anyway, I am sure that pre-orderinbg David Archuleta's album is money well spent!


Saturday, November 8, 2008

When The Snow Drops

I took this photo the other night I was going home. If you notice the white streak of light, that is a piece of snow flake falling. Yup I was walking home at night when it started snowing. This actually wasn't my first time to see snow fall from the sky but it was the first time that I saw snow drop while was outside.

I have to admit that seeing snow fall from the sky is a very beautiful sight. It was just like rain except that it's frozen. It's like seeing tiny Styrofoam balls fall from the sky. It was just like being in the movies.

Although the amazement and joy of seeing snow for the first time turned to being troublesome. Since I wasn't wearing my winter coat with the hood that had a fur lining, snow was going to my face and was sort of blinding me so I came home as fast as I can so I wasn't able to take pictures and all.

But over all, even if I hate the cold, the experience was great.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Gift Ideas


I was on break at the staff room and I was thinking of an excellent gift to a very dear co-worker, who has just recently had her early retirement, when a fellow co-worker came bringing with him his snack.

I couldn't help but notice the tempting bowl of pistachios he was carrying. I was helping myself with some pistachios which my co-worker generously offered to me when a great idea struck me. Why don't I give my co-worker nut gifts?! I know that she'd love an assortment of her favorite nuts since she also shares my love for nuts.

I know that nuts would be a great gift for her because aside from her love of nuts, it's also a great source of protein for her since she is vegetarian. I just know that she'd love the gift package that I am going to give her. Not only will she be able to eat what she loves, she'd also be able to eat healthy because nuts would be a healthy snack plus it's very low in calories. I think that I'll also get myself a few bags so that I can enjoy those awesome pistachio nuts anytime I want.



Saturday, November 1, 2008

My Halloween Day

Ok today was Halloween and it was ok I guess. I was tired from work but I was glad that my co-worker gave me a lift home so I wasn't drenched from the rain. I was on my way to our apartment when guess what? The elevators were busted so I had to walk to the end of the building to take the stairs. Good thing that we're just at the second floor.

Anyway when I entered our apartment I saw my whole family in the living room, which by the way is very rare because when I come home at 11 pm from work they are usually asleep. We were just watching TV when my mom asked if my brother's Playstation can play here VCD then I told her that we should just use the DVD player instead, yup they all forgot that we had a DVD player, geez...

Anyway you thought that Halloween's Day would be scary movies night or something but instead of watching the standard Halloween flick, we decided to watch my mom's VCD that she had received from the Philippines entitled: A Very Special Love.


I actually am not a fan of Filipino movies (especially lovey-dovey movies) but I really liked this one for some weird reasons that I can't really understand. Well the plot was generic if you asked me, poor girl makes a rich self-centered guy a softee and falls in love with her, they fight and then he wins her back. But I did enjoy watching the movie. It was really funny and uhm... romantic? Anyway it's good, well worth the freight and all. It's been a while since I've watched Filipino shows since we don't have The Filipino Channel. All shows I see are either Canadian or American.

Anyway I'm getting dizzy and sleepy right now because it's already 2 am so off to bed for me.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!



Thursday, October 30, 2008

Longing For God

I have to admit that I am a Christian... a Catholic to be exact but I am recently not practicing my religion. I haven't been going to mass and I haven't been praying to God. But as they say, a lost sheep always finds his way home and that is with God.

Out of the blue I felt longing for God and I felt that I was spiritually empty. But with some good Jesuit songs I was revived and I have once again been reminded that no matter how life is bad and too hard to bare, everything will be alright and with God you can live life to the fullest.

Let me share one Jesuit song that is memorable to me (my high school graduation mass song) and I can totally relate with: The Pilgrim's Theme. I can relate to this song because I am a pilgrim to my new home, Canada.



Tired of weaving dreams too loose for me to wear
Tired of watching clouds repeat their dance on air
Tired of getting tied to doing what's required
Is life a mere routine in the greater scheme of things?

Through with taking roads someone else designed
Through with chasing stars that soon forget to shine
Through with going through one more day - what's new?
Does my life still mean a thing in the greater scheme of things?

REFRAIN 1:
I think I'll follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
I hope to find my place
So my life can fall in place
I know in time I'll find my place
In the greater scheme of things

Each must go his way, but how can I decide?
Which path I should take, who will be my guide?
I need some kind of star to lead me somewhere far
To find a higher dream in the greater scheme of things

The road before me bends, I don't know what I'll find
Will I meet a friend or ghosts I left behind?
Should I even be surprised that You're with me in disguise?
For it's Your hand I have seen in the greater scheme of things (REFRAIN 1)

BRIDGE:
For Yours is the voice in my deepest dreams
You are the heart, the very heart
Of the greater scheme of things (REFRAIN 1)

REFRAIN 2:
Why don't we follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
One day we'll find our place
For all things fall in place
For all things have a place
In the greater scheme of things


Wednesday, October 29, 2008

On the Love of Watches

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved watches. Ever since I was a toddler, I already had a watch on my wrist. I remember having a digital watch first so that I could easily read the time. And as I grew older my mom gave me a watch as a gift on very significant occasions that is why I love my watches because they hold so many memories and sentimental value.

I would never feel complete if I left my watch at home and it worries me if my watch is not on my wrist. One of my favorite watches is my men's Omega watch. Many of my co-workers praise me for having such a beautiful watch and this somehow boosts my confidence. It's great that I have a functional piece of jewelry that gives a first impression that I am someone of good taste and class and it's also an essential part of my life because without it I would always be late.

You may call me a watch collector or fanatic, but I am really not an expert on watches. But for sure, I do know where to get fine watches at very low prices and this is CertifiedWatchStore.com. They have a huge selection of watches from all the top brands in watches and I can't wait to buy myself one to add to my collection.


Monday, October 27, 2008

What a Wonderful Day

Today was a great day for me. My mom, dad, and I went to West Edmonton Mall (WEM) today to shop for winter jackets and stuff to prepare myself for the incoming white hell hehehe. I'm really glad that I worked and didn't just goof off at home because I wouldn't have had shopping money if I didn't work for it. Oh yeah my mom could just buy me my stuff but nothing beats buying something with your own money right? Well now I'm broke again. If it weren't for my guaranteed investment account I would have $0 in my bank account. That's why I don't like going to the mall because I'm a compulsive buyer and when I shop I really want to buy everything I want in one visit so that I don't have to come back. The WEM is pretty far away so I don`t like going there. As much as possible I`d like to shop nearer to my house like the Millwoods Town Center.

Anyway my mom finally decided to buy a car for us. At least I won`t have to worry being stranded somewhere in the middle of nowhere where there isn`t any bus service. My mom wants to buy an SUV that`s a 7-seater because she wants to have room for visitors. I was wondering why she woulod need space for guests when we don`t even have our own house yet so having visitors is not feasible as of the moment. Oh well, she`s the one buying the car so I don`t have the right to say anything. But I will help her choose a 7-seater SUV that is stylish and is very reliable. But I`d reserve that for another post.

But the most important thing that makes this day so good is that I finally received my PC after 2 months of being kept away from me from those Geek Squad who only fixed my computer a while ago and they even made me pay for just installing the Operating System back... what a rip off... Next time I`d buy a new computer instead of having it fixed because having to wait for that long and having to pay that much is just wrong. But I`m actually not ranting right now because all of that is overpowered by the presence of my beloved computer!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Stupid Brother

As usual I am going to rant and rave again. This blog is becoming my personal rant page already since all I do is complain, complain, and oh yes, complain.

But I'm already so sleepy that I'll cut this ranting short. First of all I've made a new tag in my blog dedicated to my brother. And the tag goes as "Stupid Brother"! Geez! He is so irresponsible and I wonder why he is like that when we were brought up with the same parents. Is it because of the environment I was exposed in? I was forced to be more mature to survive alone while my brother was a spoiled brat. But I don't really care if he wants to ruin his life. But I do care if he ruins my life in the process. I hate paying for his mistakes and short comings. First, he is so lazy that he just leaves his stuff everywhere in the house and expects someone else to pick it up. Why am I bothered with this? Guess who cleans up after him? ME! If I don't then our house would be a pig's stye. And the latest stupid thing he did? He lost his house key? Why am I bothered? Well he uses MY key now. I go out of the house earlier than him because he wakes up late and naturally becomes late at school. So what's the relation of me going out of the house first and having to let him use my key? Well you have to have a key to be able to lock our apartment's door so I have to give up my key because he is irresponsible enough to go to the superintendent or our condominium management to have his key replaced. I wonder what he is waiting for. Is he waiting for me to do it for him? Hell no! If my parents do not punish him for his actions well I won't stand for it. I won't let him borrow my key anymore so he can just stand outside the apartment for all I care. But the downside of this is that I risk having my apartment robbed because our door is unlocked. But this wouldn't happen if my stupid brother wasn't careless enough to lose his key.

In the end I have to pay for his mistakes... my life sucks.


Thursday, October 23, 2008

Shut Up Stupid

Someone left a comment on one of my posts saying these words, "Shut up stupid". Well for the information of this someone, this happens to be a PERSONAL blog so if you understand or comprehend the meaning of this word then you will know that I will not shut up!

If other people complain to my face then why can't I rant and complain in my own blog? If you don't want to read my posts then don't, it's not as if I'm spamming the net with my posts. I'm not like some people like this person who goes online and post comments on YouTube, blogs, forums like you suck or other derogatory statements. If you have nothing more important or smart thing to say then don't say anything.

Anyway this reminds me of my co-worker who told this damn customer that if you don't like this store so much then why do you come every day? If you don't like it then stop coming and waste our time and ruin our day. This co-worker used to be so nice to customers but ever since she's exposed to nasty people with no manners and who don't know how to respect people she became this person who isn't afraid to speak her mind whenever some nasty people come her way. She's just like me. I don't have any problems speaking up to these antisocial people, but I have to put up with their selfishness in one store that I work in because I don't want the store owners (which I happen to like) lose potential profit. But really, if someone is being a jerk or a bitch, I won't let them treat me or any of my co-worker like trash. Many have threatened and talked to my manager about my attitude (not wanting to kiss their ass) but guess what? I was never fired because my managers also have their fare share of nasty customers.

Oh my... why are my posts all about my work? Well what can I do? This is what I'm preoccupied with as of the moment.



The Sacrifice

My body hurts all over right now. I can't believe that I have to work tomorrow even if I have a day off at Tim Hortons. Guess this is what I get for having two jobs. I actually have no problem at my job at Quizno's because my co-worker/store owner/supervisor always helps me with my tasks. My problem is again at Tim Hortons. It's great that there are more employees during my shift but the thing is what good will it be if there is one more employee when that employee just stands in one corner and wait for nothing while there is this huge line-up!

Geez! It's like there's no need for that person to come to work at all because he's no help at all. Plus he stinks too, no kidding! Everyone notices his smell... I wonder why he doesn't care to take a shower and use some deodorant... geez...

Anyway I don't mind if he's a useless bum... what I do care about is the customers that I have to face instead of him. I wonder why some people love to complain. And sometimes they complain too much that it already becomes soooo stupid. I hate it when people tell me that the washroom stinks. Well sorry but do I look like the janitor to you? Grrr! And besides it's the freaking customers who don't know how to use the washrooms that's why it stinks.

Anyway there was this guy who ordered mocha with extra toppings. As I was about to finish, this moron complained that he asked for extra toppings (and I already did give him extra toppings). So I added more, now he complains how he would place the lid on when there's too much toppings. So I did the whole thing all over again showing him exactly the same way I did it in the first place... and what did you know? I was doing the right thing while he was just complaining too much!

That's what I hate about Tim Hortons customers... they tend to complain, nag, and be bitchy about every single detail. If you want your coffee to suit your weird tastes then make your coffee yourself! Geez! And not every Filipino who works at Tim Hortons is a contract worker who you could just look down at. Not even the Indians or any other nationality because you don't know us and you don't know that we just have to bare seeing your faces and serving you while we wait for the start of university. Damn, some people really get on my nerves.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Killing Myself Slowly

It has been 7 days since I started working at Quizno's Sub from a month of being jobless and it has been 4 days when I started working at Tim Hortons again and 3 days that I have been working both at Tim Hortons and Quizno's subs. And in total I have been working 9 days straight... You do the problem solving cause I don't understand my life either.

I work at Quizno's at 10:45 am to 2:45 pm and then at Tim Hortons at 3 pm to 11 pm. I work at Tim Hortons for 5 days as well as in Quizno's but I work for an additional 8 hours at Quizno's. So I only have 1 day of rest so no one can say that I am being a bum since I'm working myself to death already.

Normally, I would be lazy as you know me, but as I saw the tuition fees in university I was compelled... no, I was obligated to work because college is sooooo expensive! Even if I do get a student loan, I don't know if I can pay the government back.

I wanted to save money to buy a car but I had to prioritize my education... I'll just have to make my parents feel obligated that I will need a car during my duty at hospitals so I can use the family car (when we get one).

But my head is spinning right now from being sleepy and tired so I'm signing off as I don't know what I'm writing already...

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Adoption

Nope I was never adopted if that's what is going through your silly mind right now (lol!). But I am thinking of adopting a child in the not so far future. Well some of you might ask why a 20 year old guy is thinking of adopting at a very young age but I have my reasons which of course I would share right now.

For me, I want to adopt because I want to give a home to a child who was abandoned, neglected, and unwanted. I want to give them a life free from harm and a bright future. There are thousands, if not millions, of kids out there who has no one to love them. Well I am someone who wants to open my arms to one of these kids and love them as if they were my own child. I want someone to inherit everything that I have gained in my present life and continue the legacy of me, joke.

But seriously, I'd want to have a family in the future. There are a lot of people right there who have their child aborted or they neglect their children and they don't know how blessed they are to have one.

I'd want a child in the future but after looking through the qualifications of an adoptive parent, my hopes and dreams somehow kind of dwindles. I know that an adoptive parent should be thoroughly screened so that the adopted child will be loved, protected, and provided with his/her needs but some qualifications are outrageous.

Did you know that in some countries like China, you have to be thin to be able to adopt?! Physically fit would be a good qualification but does one's weight really have to do with anything about being a good parent?

And one of the few bumps in my adoptive dream are the fact that I'm going to be a single parent. But the thing is, even if some single adopting parents are considered, they must be willing to adopt extremely disabled children and that's quite hard. But parenting is not that easy either so maybe I can take that path. And the greatest bump on my way to parenthood is my sex. Yup! Because I'm a single male I have the tiniest chance (if ever I do have a chance) of adopting. Maybe this is to protect children from pedophiles but come on, not all males are sick people in the head.

Some of my friends tell me that I should just get a surrogate mother or something but it's not like there's a baby-maker agency. I wish that adopting would be easier in the future.

Job Hunting to Job Hopping... Part 2


Ok now I'm in a deeper situation than I had expected... I have done my just in the spur of the moment decision making and I am now once again in a very difficult situation... caught in the middle as the old cliche goes.

I was really hoping that my manager at Tim Hortons would decline the demands that I had given them as I wrote here but she quickly succumbed to my requests and a little later she was asking me when I could start! I was jobless and now I have jobs all over the place (well just two anyway).

Now I was about to quit my present job at Quizno's Subs and having to sit with the two store owners, who where very nice to me, was a very unnerving situation. I was imagining that they'd throw me out of the store or something but they did something far worst: they made me feel guilty. They told me that the reason why they hired me from several people who wanted to work for them was because I told them that I wouldn't quit if ever a job that I've applied to called me up and hired me. But although I never applied back to Tim Hortons, I have to agree that I broke my promise to them and that showed a bad character on my side.

It breaks my heart to betray them like this (although they won't pay me for the days I've worked if I quit) and I am given more pressure when they told me that they are willing to take me as part time. So I can work 11 am to 3 pm for them and then 3 pm to 11 pm for Tim Hortons. I'd love to do this but I'm a lazy person. I only want to work so that my bank acount won't be empty but now I have to work not for the sake of earning money but for the sake of saving myself from the guilt of abandoning my present job whom I swore my loyalty... though spot I am right now...

Oh well I'll talk to my manger at Tim Hortons and I'll see if I can arrange something with her like if I can start working 3:30 pm to 11:30 pm or something. Oh boy... things are going to be like hell. I'm going to be a full time worker, NO!!!

But here's the catch here... if I push too much I might reach the breaking point of my manager at Tim Horton's and she might as well fire me and then if I come crawling back to Quizno's they might also drop my sorry self (although I doubt it because they really are that nice).

My life and all the dramas... I hate it.