Thursday, December 18, 2008

A Heart That Bleeds

It never ceases to amaze me how some people can say and do nasty things to other people with out any hesitation. I wish I could do that too. I wish I could just hurt people and never regret it in the end but I just can't. I can't hurt other people nor do I want to hurt them. It makes me ashamed to say that whenever I do things like not saying hi to anyone I know or not being polite to anyone makes me suffer the next day.

I hate it how I tend to reflect upon my actions at the end of the day. I envy those that can just say what ever they want at the spur of the moment without any guilt what so ever. I hate it that I have a heart that bleeds so easily.

Maybe I'm just too week, letting myself be affected too much by the actions of other people. Maybe in this heartless and cold world I have to raise all my defenses if I want to save my self from emotional scars.

I'm just glad that I'm not alone whenever wrong has been done unto me because somehow I get to feel how my Savior was persecuted. I just think of Jesus Christ and I can just smile and in a way forgive.

I don't want to be a nasty person. I don't want to be someone so full of hate and negativity. I want to live my life peacefully.

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