Saturday, November 4, 2006

On Relationships


I have been looking at my past and remembering my past relationships. If you would watch my life story with me you could really say that my life sure is sure unstable. I had a lot of past relationships if you could call them relationships. If I did have a real relationship, it was only with this one girl who I hold dear to me and respect until now. The rest would be categorized in the unmentionables because I am ashamed to let any one know that I ever had anything to do with them.

I don’t know what I really want. I feel that I have been writing about this frequently. I keep on ranting about being lonely and empty. Maybe I was so desperate to be with someone that I make so stupid mistakes and end up with those pathetic people. Maybe I’m pathetic myself because I fell for them. Yes I did made mistakes but at least I’ve learned from them and I didn’t have to go through five or more relationships to learn my mistakes. I have learned to be happy with my self first to be happy with any one else. The saying “You complete me” is a total crap. Only broken people get together with other broken people and they both end up destroying both their lives. And that is more pathetic don’t you think?

I don’t really understand people and the concept of relationships. Is it pure hormonal instinct that people get together so that they can procreate? Don’t forget the other probable reason: survival. Don’t get me wrong but this is the tendency and even trend that I see. People only get attracted to people who are good looking, rich, famous, or people that would raise their status in society. I don’t really believe that love really exists between these types of people. This “feeling” that these people have is a safety belt that they have because the relationship is either mutually rewarding or beneficial for one.

When I was in high school this parent of someone I know asked me if I already had a girlfriend. I said no. And he was so shocked and even told me that I should really get one. I was so infuriated because what does having a girlfriend have to do anything with being a high school student? I never knew that it was a requirement to have a girlfriend to have good grades and graduate. What is really in relationships? Love? I don’t think so. Let’s face it. Let’s stop believing that love stories that we see in the movies are possible.

The motives for a relationship that I see are the following:

1. Sex

2. Popularity

3. Security

4. Other beneficial factors

But I wish that I could really be proven wrong because I world with this kind of people is a world that I don’t ever want to love in. There is more to relationships than what I said above, if only people would agree with me.

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