I've Hit Rockbottom...

I used to be at the top of my game. I was one of the top students in one of the best university in the Philippines, I pass and do great in everything to do, I was even considered as a leader and as a role model... I had goals and dreams, I had the right stuff and the tools of the trade to succeed!

But look at me now, I'm out of school, I work at a fastfood restaurant throwing garbage, serving people who looks down at me thinking I'm a highschool dropout Filipino contract worker... I used to be part of the elite social class and now I'm nothing... quite a humbling experience really.

Although my family isn't poor, we do have a car, food on the table, and a roof above our heads, I still feel incompetent and completely useless because it seems that several years of my life has been wasted on being a good student with high grades. I took a pass on going out with friends and having fun because I wanted to be serious and diligent on my studies because I was career oriented. But now all those sleepless nights and sacrifice doesn't mean a thing because in Canada, education from other countries especially third world countries is sub par which I think is unfair and totally ridiculous in a way.

But here I am a total loser in a country where Filipinos are looked down upon because they think we are uneducated poor people. I hate this country, I never wanted to be here in the first place... I was sucked out from my very successful life into this pit of self pity and despair.

But I won't give up! I will take the wheel and take control of my life. I'll show those people that I am not someone to be looked down upon. But seriously, if I don't start school this year, I will completely lose it and go on a rampage.

I had a great life, now look how I am today. It infuriates me!

I Don't Have to Prove Anything

I was so pissed yesterday! It actually happened to me, a Filipino being looked down by a "White". Well Filipino being looked down by another Filipino is pretty common but a White looking down at me? Unacceptable.

I can state a thousand things why they can never look down on me but I'm tired and I'll be wasting my time. But what the hell, time is all I have:

1. I am not a contract worker, I am acutally a resident of this place and a Citizen in three years from now which I don't really care about. I didn't come to this God-forsaken country to work in your fastfood chains. I had no choice, my parents wanted to move here so I was dragged along. If I were given a choice I would have stayed in the Philippines and I would have graduated now too.
2. I am working at Tim Hortons because I want to earn money while waiting to gain admission to University of Alberta because unlike a certain percentage of white people I have high goals and aspirations with one of them being able to have a degree.
3. Just because I'm brown doesn't mean I worship white people and think that they are superior in any way.
   

Not all Filipinos that come to this country, Canada, is a contract worker who you think you can look down at and think that you are superior to them in a way because if you take a look at history no one is a native of Canada per se. The ancestors or forefathers of the white people killed and oppressed the first people who lived in Canada. And that is something I would never be proud of.

I don't want to be nasty but some people are making me nasty. Again, if you don't know how to respect people then don't expect to be respected too.

Do I Look Like Adam Lambert? [edited version]

Someone just told me a while ago that I looked like Adam Lambert of American Idol. I actually had no idea of who he is and how he looks like because I haven't been watching American Idol since I usually am at work when American Idol airs and I'm not really interested in watching it now that my favorite idol: David Archuleta is not on the show anymore.

So I Googled Adam Lambert and I finally sort of got a glimpse of his talent, fashion, and a bit of who he is. So I hear that he is a great singer, with theatrical backgrounds and as American Idol judge, Kara DioGuardi, said, "He hit notes she never knew even existed." I find him pretty fashionable for an emo person too!

Anyway, I don't really care if we look alike or don't.

[I removed somethings in this post like pictures and opinions as such because I guess I've hit a few nerves but it was good to know though that I get visitors, LOL!]

I Want an iPhone!

I knew that an iPhone is such an amazing gadget but I was only enticed to buy one when my mom went home one day with an iPhone from Rogers. She said that she had no plans on buying one but got one anyway because the salesman was good.

But I actually didn't want to get an iPhone since I already have bought two iPod Touch and both had pretty much the same features except that the iPod touch isn't a phone... duh! I already have a great smart phone and I'm pretty happy with it. But the interface of the iPhone is really great and I especially love the Google Map that's pre-installed on the iPhone. I do have Google Maps on my Sony Erisson W960i but it doesn't come close to the iPhone. Plus I love the internet browser of the iPhone/iPod Touch!

I went online and bid on a 16GB White Unlocked iPod but I lost... which is good because I bid on two more phones from two different sellers so I didn't want to win two bids since I don't want to pay for both.

Anyhoo... I think it's better to hide my credit card since I don't want to spend too much since I have to pay my way to school.

Nothing to Post

Seriously... my life is so boring... I have nothing to post or write about. I think my brain has completely shut down or anything because I don't seem to think anymore... or is it because I can't think anymore?

I wonder why I always have to blog about my boring life... is there even anyone visiting my rarely updated blog who are interested about my not so fascinating life?

But then again, using this part of cyberspace to rant and vent isn't a bad idea either... so here it goes.... **** my brother's friends! Damn! My only day dedicated to cleaning this God damn house is wasted because of those damn people! God why can't they just go to their own freaking homes like normal people do! They stay here for the whole night and then the whole day, they eat here, leave their garbage here in our God forsaken home... I hate them... Grrr...

Ok on with my life... see? Look how infuriatingly pathetic my life is. Later days!