Opportunity Lost

Aah! I am freaking pissed of today! I let a $50 opportunity to pass me by. That’s almost 2000 pesos! Like it was already just a click away and I could have been $50 dollar richer! $50!!! Ok cool down. I’ll just let this experience be a big slap on my face so that I’ll never repeat this humongous mistake ever happen to me.

Why didn’t I stick to my motto: Carpe Diem! Seize the Day! The opportunity was right there! Right there but I felt lazy and didn’t grab it when I still could thinking that I could still get it later… what a BIG mistake! Darn it!

Ok, I won’t prolong my agony, I have to do my requirements to get over this stupid action of mine… Anyway, my studies are my top priority right? Hmm… the things I say to get by my lost.

Library Hell

The online database of the university library is making me go berserk! First, it took me half an hour to gain access because of the "auto ip login" thing. I had to repair and acquire a new ip address over and over again. And to my dismay just when I finally got accessed to it, the damn online journal is down. Think of the irony! Not to mention agony!

Ok I have already ranted about my great dismay of the university library poor service, I might as well continue and pour out my sentiments (evil little me). Here are the list of things that makes me a grumpy little "library patron":

• The library actually has several computers but they are never turned on - I just wonder what these computers are for? We paid for these things but we never get to use them. Are these for display only? I've heard that the reason why they don't turn them on is it will cause a short-circuit in the electrical system or something... but my reply? Fix it then! We pay for your services people.
• Poor Internet Connection - The WiFi connection is really quite good and the internet speed is fast but there are times when there are fluctuations in the internet connection and I lose my internet connection. It's quite disappointing and irritating especially when you're already in the heat of the moment searching for stuff on the net.
• Books are not in order - Oh my... what is the use of the Dewey decimal system or the online book catalogue when the books are not in proper order. o books are even missing. The library does have good books but you never get to use them because you never find them. And don't bother asking the "student assistants" for help. They are a bunch of good for nothing leeches that gets paid for doing nothing... (I am so evil... but it's true).
• Broken Book Detector Thingy - I wonder when they will fix the book detector thingy (I don't know what it's called but it detects books that haven't been checked out or borrowed officially) at the library entrance? It has been months already and I don't think that they have plans of replacing or repairing it. Do you know how annoying it is when they stop you and manually check your bag? It's ok if they really check it but the thing is they just stare at the inside of the bag just for the sake of checking, they don't even check if the books in the bag are owned by the library. Do they have x-ray eyes or something?

Ok, you might think that I'm being over-reactive from the things that I have said above but wait until you hear the best part:

• You would notice that there are only a few students who dare to stay at the third floor of the library annex because of the certain librarian that I would like to call the "Librarian from Hell". He is the epitome of people who are so controlling and not to mention closed minded. The third floor library is like a different nation with it's own stupid little rules like no texting, no talking (even whispering), no using of mp3/media players (even if you use an earphone and with the volume way below comfort), and what else? No breathing, thinking, and no being alive in a free democratic world? If I know, if there would be a chance he would also ban the use of laptops. Like this librarian is what we call the modern day native who gets scared of innovations and improvements in technology... how sad...

Well I guess that's it. But I am glad that this would be the last that I would get to see and experience of being in the library... why? Well I'll just post about it later, maybe in may? I'll just keep it a secret for now.

Goodbye Laptop

I had mixed emotions when my mom texted me one day and told me that our installment plan for my laptop was accepted. I was supposed to get an Acer Aspire 4315! Like it had 1 GB of RAM already and it already has a pre-installed Genuine XP! What a sweet deal! Naturally I would be ecstatic and all because I could already get my laptop anytime in that week. But all my hopes and expectations were washed down the drain when she told me that we needed a co-buyer that was a close relative. One would say that that wasn't a big deal at all. But in my case it is a big deal. My mom's relatives are all in Manila. My dad's relatives are here but the only one's living near the city can't even afford to support themselves, how in the world can they become co-buyers of a techno stuff that they would have to work for for several years to be able to barely afford the downpayment. Don't get me wrong, my dad does have successful sisters but they live so far away, one is in Cebu and the other is in California. Actually the store was happy enough to allow my mom to have her officemate co-sign the contract. Her officemate was actually very willing to be a co-buyer, God bless her. Everything was going smoothly and even fast but unfortunately my mom's husband had to get in the way of my dream. He is such a disappointment and I bluntly say that I am ashamed to have him as a father. Like who in their right mind would tell a credit officer that we had plans of leaving the country? He even showed the credit inspector my mom's text telling him not to say anything stupid like what he just said. He talked like a stupid parrot telling the credit officer that my mom gives post-dated checks, which isn't true, and even told the credit officer that my mom had plans of early retirement. Who in their right mind would allow us to purchase anything if we weren't financially stable. The fact is we are financially stable but my stupid father had to open his big mouth and destroyed our reputation. So right now my dreams and all my plans for my laptop are gone. To think that I could have used the laptop to simplify my study life. But all of that is gone now. My mom told me not to be depressed and all because there are a lot of stores but that atore had the laptop which I really wanted and I would have to prolong the anguish and agony of obsessing about that freaky laptop. Grr! How hard it is to convince me that it's just a stupid piece of wires and chips but what can I do, I've been waiting and expecting too long already for that laptop to materialize but then all of the sudden poof! It disappeared like that. How much longer do I have to wait! I do understand my mom but I still blame my dad for ruining it for me.

I’m Sorry That You’re Impoverished

I just hate some of my brother’s friends, if not completely all of them. I can’t fake it and act happy whenever they’re around the house and be hospitable and all because they define the epitome of “buwiysetas” or unwanted visitors. Like they have the nerve of saying this line: “I never thought that HE (referring to ME) would be here…” Like the HELL! I happen to live here you stupid b*tches. This happens to be my freaking home, this is my domain, my sanctuary, my abode, residence, and whatever you call a place you own and live in. Grrr! I hate them! If only I have the time and energy to throw them out of the house!

Some of them have the audacity to come to our house in the evening to use our computer. And for what? For checking their Friendster accounts and even for scanning their pictures of their hideous selves. Like don’t they have the decency to call ahead (that is if they have a phone, or send an SMS at least) or wait until morning to do their stupidness? My gosh, I don’t want to be rude like they are but don’t they have money to spend on internet cafes? Like do they understand the word PRIVATE or PRIVACY? My HOME is not a PUBLIC place where they can casually enter in the middle of the night! I don’t care if they can’t afford to buy their own PC or connect to the internet, or worst, can’t afford to rent a computer in an internet café. Don't get me wrong. I don't look down on them because they can't afford to buy a PC or connect to the internet, what I'm really against is that they have the nerve to go to our house acting as if they own it. How dare they impose themselves and barge in our house without any courtesy call?! How rude and undignified. But what would you expect from people of poor breeding.

I know that it’s Christmas and all but lately I have noticed that they have a negative influence with my brother and that triggers my hate mode. These bunch of delinquents lie to their parents about where they are going and they don’t even inform their parents that they’re not coming home. These are the group of youth that I can tag as a problem of society. Hell, my brother was even caught carrying marijuana (Cannabis) and who else would we blame but his stupid misfit friends. They have the foul excuse of having these prayer meetings during Sunday just to idle somewhere.

Carolers

I really hate Christmas Carolers! They have some nerve to go door to door and sing Christmas songs when we didn’t tell them to and then they even demand money! They are worst than beggars! There are even some carolers who give you these smirks of disappointment when you give them only one peso. I really want to slap them hard in the face. Who do they think they are? It’s not as if they gave us anything or made us happy with their pitiful songs. If I wanted to be entertained with Christmas songs, I would just turned on my CD player thank you. Caroling should be made illegal I tell you.

Losing Something

It's very frustrating when you lose something. It's more frustrating when you lose something very important and that you know that someone else was at fault. I hate finding things. It really stresses me out when I am faced with a situation where I don't know anything. Losing something feels like losing a part of you. When I lose something I feel so weak and so afraid.

There are times that I cannot take the pressure anymore that I burst into tears. Some may find this weird or even funny but it's very hard to lose something which you have kept safe until someone so stupid takes it away and misplaces it. I really hate it.

I don't read forwarded chain messages... why?

I don't read forwarded chain messages... why?

1. It's either spam
2. There's a curse or bad luck thing...
3. It's so impersonal
4. It's either plain stupid or too good to be true...

I'm sorry if I offend people who loves forwarding messages but please, try to reconsider your actions. You really want your friend to die? As in really... I have been deleting, ignoring, and practically ending the chain of nonesense! And I'm still alive and bad luck hasn't come to me... no, Samara didn't steal my soul, and my family are ok.

Please stop forwarding hurtful trash. Thank you. Peace!

I hate Smart!

I wonder what the hell is wrong with Smart! It just makes me so mad! Like I still have load and I'm currently enrolled in their unlimited text promo and then all of the sudden I can't text because there's something wrong with the network as my stupid phone keeps on flashing. I am quite dissapointed because look at the time I lost that I could have used to send text messages to people.

I haven't made use of the unlimited text servidce to the fullest! Grr! These are the times that I wished I was a Globe user! If I still can't send text messages tomorrow when I wake up, I have to call Smart and report to them hpw they suck! hehehe...

I hope that I can text again soon... buhuhu...

Sibling Rivalry

Do you know the person I hate the most? My brother! Ooh how I want to kill him sometimes! He just gets on my nerves! It's like as if his sole purpose in this world is to ruin my life! Grr! I don't know why we don't get along and Gid knows that I have tried all my best to be close to him or even form this certain respect with one another... but who could respect that kind of person with such a rotten attitude! Like thw world does not revolve around you you peice of Sh*t! Aarg!!!

But I'm just wasting my time on such a nonesense thing... yeah this is what we should all do to people who gives us crap all the time! We should just ignore them and just get a long with our lives because unlike them we have lives to live and they merely exist in their sad made-believe world where they rule everything. Why waste our time on such idiotic people? Why am I wasting my time on this moron anyway? I call it quits! I don't give a damn about this ex-brother of mine! Grr!

Teacher You're Wrong!

You know what makes me really angry?! Teachers that don't know how to teach!!! Grrr! It is so unfair that I have some teachers that really suck at teaching! My gosh! Is there a sudden lack in teachers at XU that they just recruit anyone, I mean "ANYONE", even if they suck at teaching? Like if I have a teacher like that I would rather teach my self. I mean I am teaching myself because my darn teacher talks to himself/herself during class discussions. And to think that this teacher gets angry and even annoyed if you correct her mistakes? Like BIG and STUPID mistakes!!! Grr!!!

I have highschool teachers who are far more competent than some of my college teachers! Xavier should think about having a re-evaluation of its teachers if it really intend to provide its students with "quality" education.

Breakage Madness!

Wah! I am so pissed offyesterday! I had so much plans with my English 17 breakage refund and the stupid finance office rescheduled the breakage refund. It only shows that Xavier has no more money! Wahahaha! But hey it's my right to get back my money. Why is it that they are always strict at collecting tuition fees from students (and they won't even allow us to take the exams if we don't pay) while they on the other hand can be lax at giving us back our hard earned money (well our parents' hard earned money)? Grrr!

I Hate Being Told What To Do!!!

Aah! It just makes me so much when I am told what to do!!!! It just makes me so mad!!! I am responsible enough to make my own decisions so let me be!!! Teenagers only rebel or become deviant when they are controlled like robots! I am not a robot so let me live my life the way I want it to be!

It just makes me so frustated when I am constantly reminded of the things that I should and what I should not do. God! I am not like my brother okay?!!!! I am not stupid!!! It just makes me angry and It makes me go crazy!!!! Aah!

Let me be!

Boredom...

Wala lang I'm bored... I've been sitting infront of this stupid monitor and I am bored... Like hell! My download is taking forever to finish and I am hungry! No! I'm thinking of food again! I so love foos and I just eat and eat especially when I'm depressed. It really makes me happy... hey it's better than drugs right? Anyway I just love food and I love enjoying the flavor... wait, ok Vincent snap out of it! Think about other things! Yey! My download is starting to speed up... anyway, why am I posting this? Wala lang, just want to express myself and be heard by my friends out there.It is lonely being alone and I'm glad that I have friends to call my own.And my download is done! Yey! Anyway... Uwi na ako bye! Huh? What was that all about? Sorry I'm crazy today.Like I went to school, yeah yeah I know, I'm a nerd I love school. anyway, I went early to have an edge over the other enrollees so that I'll get ahead in the line to find out that I was a day early! It so happened that the grades and the green enrollment form is to be given away tomorrow and the enrollment-proper is on wednesday, the day after! Buhuhu! I have to come back again tomorrow so that I'll be the4 first to enroll! Wahahaha! It helps being sneaky sometimes! Hey I'm still enrolling on the assigned date, the only difference is that I acquired my requirements a ay before. Hey they should give me a break, I still have to pass my grades to the Academic Affairs Office and there are a lot of scholars at XU.So I have to return tomorrow... Wait... I wonder if I spelled tomorrow right? Yup it's right. At last, I would be doing something productive this summer, staying at home is boring! I can't believe I love school thismuch. I hope that I don't have Over-Reacting and Incompetent teachers this summer classes. I'm not really saying that all teachers at XU are bad but there are a few who really aren't student-friendly and they don't create an environment conductive to learning. But I have to say all my teachers in the first sem of this school year were excellent! But sorry folks, I won't backstab the teachers I don't like here. Maybe some placelse hehehe joke. But I do love my teachers, they really are great except for a minor few.
Please visit my blog vincentbautista.blogspot.com and please do not post anything about porn. I do not want free porn and you know who you are!!! Come on! There is more to life than sex! I hate sex maniacs! Grr!!!!
Anyway, have a great summer to all. Bye! Love you guys and thanks!

Internet Ecstacy drown the Drain!

Buhuhu! No more internet for me! I mean my dream of unlimited internet with a speed of 128 kb/s has gone down the drain! Why do I live so far away from civilization in the first place?! It's so ironic! I already have the right equipment for the Smart WiFi and I've already paid for the installation fee and for the one month subscription. The only thing is our damn location isn't reachable by the WiFi signal! Argg! Why! Why do I \have to stick with Sotelco's 28.8 kb/s at the most internet speed? Well, it is better than nothing but if you compared Sotelco's Php 100 for 10 hours of very slow internet speed to Smart WiFi's unlimited internet for Php 800/month of very fast internet speed it's so degrading!!! I mean depressing! Or both! We should really consider moving to the city! What is it here in bukidnon anyway? The nosy neighbors? The uncivilized, WiFi unreachable, hard to go to place? There must be a reason. Just don't know why... where is justice! Wahaha!

I hate dancing!

I really hate dancing! I am not inclined into dancing at all and I’m better off at singing. I really don’t like aerobics. It’s so frustrating because we have to perform aerobics but we don’t even have time to practice. AHSE is not really a course that conveniently offers free time for we go home every night at 6:15 pm or 6:50 pm. We can still practice but we don’t have any energy left. We have to go home and do our homeworks, read our notes, and sleep to have energy for the following day. Practicing at that late hour would be fine and it would even work if and only if I was with group members who are dedicated to aerobics and will willingly spend time to practice but the problem is I’m not with these kind of people. I’m doomed! I will fail and lose my scholarship because of PE. I hate PE too! I’m not really this active person who wants to run around and sweat. Well I do love to run around at times but I don’t want to do push-ups and I definitely hate playing basketball. I do try to like PE but I just don’t. Why is PE needed anyway and why is it important? I asked this question to my PE teacher and she answered that we have to have PE because it is already an integral part of education. But I wonder how essential it is to education, we only have it once a week and I’m not really becoming more fit to be honest. But why should I be so negative anyway? Why do have a lot of questions? The answer is I don’t know it’s just the way I am. But to tell you the truth, I would rather have biology the whole day than have PE for one hour.

My WORST Day at XU

This event took place this morning of Saturday, June 4, 2005. I was at XU and I was going to get my ID. I was glad to go to school this Monday and I was even excited. It didn't bother me that the 1,000 (I think) Freshmen students had to make a line to get their ID's. There were even only two tellers who facilitated the handing out of the ID's by the way. Ok it was hot, crowded, and confusing but I still smiled and said to my self that I should sacrifice a little because this will end quickly. A couple of minutes later and our line was moving slower than a snail, literaly. Thye people then went balistic when someone said that not all ID's would be given that day. The people rushed to the blackboard were the names of the people who will receive their ID's that day, People pushed and squeezed just to search for their names. The blackboard was almost tipped over because of the crowd who wants to get a glimpse.

Despite the crowd, the long line, the hot sun, everything was going well when all of the sudden there were already three lines! What's the big deal with the three lines? Remember there were only two tellers so where does the extra line go? To one of the tellers specifically the A-L window. The other window was M-Z, you had to go to the window with the letter where your surname starts. Unfortunately I was with the A-L window with the two lines. All of the sudden the teller said to make one line. The guy infront of me didn't know how to converse with the teller because he might be shy or confused as I was. I told her that there were two lines to begin with. The crowd was so enormous that we couldn't make head or tails of the lines. I tried to reason with her, I asked her which line we should follow because both lines were already very long and it would be unfair for both of our parts to break up one line. I asked the people if it was ok if both lines cooperated and just go to the teller at intervals and both lines agreed. But still this teller was so closed-minded and stubborn. I reasoned with her but she completely ignored me so I was overcome with my irritation and maybe it was just because of the hot temperature that I lost my calmness. I admit I did raise my voice, but to a right level so I would be heard. I did respected them and addressed them with courtesy saying "Ma'am". There was one of the assistants who was more open to the problem and indeed realize that there was really a problem. She agreed with our plan but the teller would not. One line... what line would be dissolved I asked. She replied "Kamo na mag sabot..." but didn't you listen to me at all? We already decided to do an interval. The rest is a blank to me. After I got my ID I left the chaos and the heat of things.

Someone told me that people were calling me names like "Dramatic Person" or "Scene Maker" and some even tagged me gay because of my accent and expressions.

If it is wrong to argue and talk to fix things then fine I won't do anything! I quit! If it is so wrong to fix a chaotic scene with unity then fine I won't do anything of that! If it is wrong to speak out your mind then I will shut my mouth and let things as they are, I won't try to change things, it is impossible to make a difference at all. If I get laughed at instead of being supported then fine I don't care. I'm really confused. What ius the right thing to do? What would an Atenean do?

I admit that I did make a scene but it was after I was ignored. I DID KEEP MY CALM but lost it when I was IGNORED. She was right for following the rules, we should have made one line. But how? What line would be dissolved, we had waited so long and then we would be at the back of another line? We did solve that problem when we agreed to make intervals when we approach the "teller" or person-in-charge.

No one spoke up. The person in front of me did not speak up. What would happen? What happened after I spoke and made a fool of my self?

Ok I suddenly realized that we should have made one line with the interval thing but was I wrong to speak up? I did not mean to make a scene and that is the last thing I would do. But I was ignored she did not reply and did not tell us what to do. We were in chaos because we lacked the information. There were no signs of what to do and there wasn't any student assistants or leaders outside assisting the crowd.

I may be out of line sometimes that is why...

I apologize for my actions. They were immature and not right at all. I should just go with the flow and just follow what happens.

I have to admit I do feel bad and I don't know anything at all. All of the things I beleived in flew away and are nonsense. I don't know what to do anymore. Sorry...

Using Cellphones and Social Status Issues

One time I was riding a pubic transportation when my phone rang. I received a text message and I replied. Again my phone rang and this continued up to three messages. All of a sudden this girl beside me said “samok ba!” This is a expression used in the Philippines to show extreme irritation. But I was shocked and felt attacked, which I really was. That time I just kept quite and minded my own business and then went down at my stop. If I wasn’t in my good mood she would receive a good bashing.
I was thinking why would she be irritated? I was practicing phone etiquette, my ring volume was not to the maximum level, I did not raise my phone to show off and in fact I was hiding it from view. It just happens that she was at my side and she saw it. And it comes to me is this jealousy? Does my Nokia 6260 threaten her? Does my Ryan Cabrera Shame on Me true tone a way of saying she’s cheap? If these things give off these expressions then I’m sorry. But since when is it wrong to use a phone that you really like and the tone that you like? I never heard of a Presidential Decree or a Republic Act stating so.
Does this mean that if she had an old phone with basic lcd and monophonic ring tones then I should get that type of phone too? Where is democracy in that? If she’s poor I have to be poor? If she suffers I have to suffer too? This is just the manifestation of Filipino Crab Mentality. When one crab is about to escape, the other crabs tend to pull it down. She has a serious problem and she really needs professional help.
I did not do anything wrong and if living a life of style and luxury was wrong then they should arrest every businessmen, every professionals, every working citizens who work so hard just to provide for their families and acquire certain items as their trophies of their life’s work. I don’t have a job yet yes but this phone is not in any way meant to say I’m rich and you’re poor. This phone has been a dream for me and it is also a gift from my mom for finishing high school. And believe me I worked so hard just to strive to achieve excellence and this phone is a sign of that. I am not guilty of anything because this is a free country and I can use and buy (in the future) anything may it be luxurious or not and I won’t feel guilty that other people might not be doing well as me. It’s not my fault that they are like that and maybe neither theirs. No one chooses to be poor right? But if they can’t eat three times a day, should I not eat three times a day too? Sure I’m willing to share my blessings, but I can’t give them what I don’t have and I can’t give them the things that I’ve worked for for my family.
If you’re saying that I shouldn’t have used my phone in public then I ask you what is the use of a portable telephone when you can’t avail of its convenience. Do you mean I have to go to the bathroom just to use my phone? Do I have to be ashamed to have a great phone? I am not stepping on anyone’s rights so I am free to do things I want.

Online Life a Bust

My online life is quite static right now. I do have internet connection but what’s the use? Our internet service provider (ISP) is useless, it does not provide internet because for a long time now their lines are up and running but they can’t figure why people can’t connect through the internet by dial-up. This is the provincial technology so we can’t expect much. Anyway I’m online right now, I had to travel 1 hour to the nearest city to use a computer, poor me.

Out With Bureaucracy

I hate being sick. Right now I have fever... I don't want to go to our hospital, I don't know why but being in our hospital here in Bukidnon makes me feel worse. Imagine your sick already and then you have to wait in line, wait, and again wait... by the time I have to see the doctor, I might already have fainted! It really is tiring to go through too nuch bureaucracy! Even with enrollmet suring school, you have top pass through so much red tape and all. Why not just give the forms, pay, then leave. Wouldn't life be easier if things were organized but ofcourse not that organized that it would lead to red tape. I hate bureaucracy! You never get things done...fast!