Monday, February 9, 2009

Curing My Social Phobia

I have to admit that I'm not a big fan of people, especially crowds. I hate taking public transit, I hate walking alone in crowded places like the mall, and I especially hate parties and gatherings with people I don't know.

I really don't have a clinical diagnosis of Social Anxiety Disorder (a.k.a. Social Phobia) but how I feel towards other people and how I react maybe qualifies me for being antisocial.

I can open up and talk to people who I am comfortable with (non-flashy, approachable, and the fellow shy-type kind of people) but I really put up an invisible defensive barrier around me when I'm out of my comfort zone (meaning being out in public).

I hate walking in crowded places because I feel like every one is staring at me and mocking me (not to be too conceited or anything, I know that they don't really notice me).

I'd also prefer staying at home than going with my parents to parties and gatherings to other people's house. I feel uncomfortable not being in my own territory. When I'm in parties I usually go with my mom or anyone I know or if the people I go with tend to socailize with others too much I just go out and hide in a solitary space.

One might be surprised how I survive working at Tim Hortons were I'm supposed to take orders from strangers and such. Well it really depends upon my mood, the number of co-workers with me, and there are days where I am the baker and I don't have to be in contact with other people so it's all good.

But I'm slowly coping with this problem of mine. Now, even if I find it troublesome, I go out with friends and enjoy. In fact this coming March 7, my friends and I are going on a skiing trip! The normal antisocial me would rather stay at home and just watch movies on my laptop but I guess socializing once in a while isn't too bad.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Some People Deserve to Die!

In a world where the good and righteous is oppressed, tortured, taken advantaged, and even killed in cold blood....

In a world where the criminals, sociopaths, bullies, and plainly evil people roam the earth freely immuned from what we call the justice system...

In a world where the powerful can step on the rights of those who are weak just because they can and because no one is willing to stand up against them...

I can't live in this world that we live in...

Constantly I fear for the lives of the ones I love as I hear grim stories of innocent people slaughtered on the streets by gangs and criminals.

I hate feeling powerless and I hate how society just sits and even protects these criminals saying that they too have rights... our world is really naive and stupid.

How I wish that I had the power to pass judgment to all those evil people out there making the world such a filthy place to live in... I would trade my soul and my whole humanity just to be able to get rid of all scum on the face of the earth. I don't care if I get my soul tainted in the process and even if I have to spend my whole eternity in hell...

It is so wrong to kill but there are just some people out there who deserve to die. For example, just this afternoon I was walking to work minding my own business when these Indian teenage boys asked for $10. Naturally I just ignored them and just walked passed them and they started cussing at me and harassing me. I just ignored them and it was fortunate that someone else passed by. Who knew what would have happened if I was all alone with those Indians. I don't want to be racist but this event left a foul taste in my mouth that I can't just spit out and forget.

Anyway on with my rant... I actually had a dream early before all of this happened. There was this white woman who went inside our car to tell us to move because we were blocking her way or something (I can't remember it that well). Anyway I got pissed off because how could we move when there were two cars ahead of us, it's not like we could just ram them over right? But I kind of felt guilty for losing my temper because I could have just reasoned with her. Anyway, she left our car (why did she enter in the first place?) and when I looked at her at the back she was mugged by this person with a gun. I was so terrified and he was about to enter our car through my mom's open door so I told her to close the door but she didn't listen because she was preoccupied with searching for something in her purse. She closed the door but it was too late, I was pulling the door close and the villain was pulling it open... I was about to lose my grip when I woke up. Seriously, I was about to call my mom to tell her to lock the door immediately when she hears me scream in a frantic fashion.

Anyway, I shared this dream just to give an example of how upset and affected I am by all the evil in the world. I want to do something about it and I want to have the power to do so. But really... In an act to get rid of all the evil people in the world, I become evil myself in the process... how ironic...

Photo Credits to *ANARKYMAN

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Glasses to See the World Clearly

My dad has so many eyeglasses. But the problem is he can never keep track of where his glasses are and he usually loses them, destroys them, or I throw them away because they are ancient and it would be a crime against fashion if I let him wear it around in public.

It costs us a great fortune going back and forth to the eyeglass store to get him a new pair at least twice or thrice a month! In fact when we walk in the store, this sales lady would immediately hand us a list of the bifocal reading glasses that my dad likes (which he usually misplaces).

In this time of economic crisis and slowdown, I guess that I just had to find a way to lessen our expenses. That's why I'm so glad that I found an online store that sells cheap prescription eyeglasses! What I liked about this store is that they had trendy, fashionable, and of great quality prescription eyeglasses for a very reasonable price too of $15!

What I like about this store is that they have this thing they call Virtual try-on system that as the name suggests, allows you to try on the product allowing you to know how it would look on your face.

And if you ever dreamed of having different looks every week, grants that dream because as I said they sell their eyeglasses cheap, plus they get delivered right to your doorstep just in 1 week plus they offer free shipping worldwide if you get more than 1 pair of glasses.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Neither a Borrower Nor a Lender Be

This quote by William Shakespeare has really enlightened me and I'm willing to place it in my top 5 most favorite quotes (that is if i had a Top 5 Quotes List). I should have listened to my mother or consulted with my mother before I lent a friend out of my naivety Php 20,000 or CAN$ 500!

Now that friend cannot be reached. Her cellphone is always turned off and she doesn't reply to my e-mails or instant messages. It's funny how easy it was to reach her when she needed money immediately like as in now at this very moment and now that it's time for her to pay it back, it's like she never existed!

I will charge this $500 to experience and I will never lend money to anyone from the Philippines or even anyone that lives near me here in Canada unless they sign a contract with me clearly stating the amount they borrowed, the date they will have to pay me, and the consequences of defaulting upon our agreement.

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