My Abnormality: My Right Hip

I went to see a Physical Therapist one day as recommended by my examining doctor. I was hoping that the Physical Therapist will give me a massage or some sort of treatment for my aching lower back pain which was actually improving already.

But instead of my anticipated massage (yes I love body massages) the doctor only gave me a thorough physical assessment which I really appreciated. I was even more amazed with the assessment of the doctor when he noticed that my right hip has a limited range of motion as compared to my left hip. So he concluded that this partial mobility of my right hip may have contributed to my frequent lower back pains. So you see, if my hip doesn't rotate well, it is my lower back which would need to twist and turn so my back is easily strained.

Well the doctor did also comment that for a 20 year old, my back isn't that strong yet so I was a bit ashamed of my unfit self and sedentary lifestyle. So I think I have already found one 2009 New Year's Resolution! I will make use of the Tony Horton's 10 Minute Exercise DVDs that I bought so I can get some exercise.

My Wish: Good Health

Christmas is fast approaching and I've got to admit that I'm not that excited really. Christmas isn't that exciting anymore here in Canada. It's my first white Christmas here in my new home but I kind of feel that there is something missing. And I bet that that something are my friends and other loved ones who I have left behind in the Philippines.

Before I was excited for Christmas because of the gifts and all but now that I can afford to buy whatever I want I have realized that Christmas here in Canada is very commercialized. It's only about gifts, the decorations, and the food. Back in the Philippines Christmas was more on the real reason for Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ.

Anyway, the past few days I've been thinking of what I would want for Christmas and after being bed-ridden for 4 consecutive days, missing work and being in agonizing pain, because of a lower back injury I have realized that good health is a great Christmas gift. I used to laugh at older people wishing other old people good health for Christmas but now that I am in such pain I suddenly realized how important and priceless good health really is. I'm just glad that my condition is improving.

I have missed work for 4 days already, a huge loss of potential earnings for me, and I didn't even have the chance to study for my coming TOEFL iBT exam this January 2009. I know what you're thinking, what have I been doing all along while I was at home? But if you were in my place, you wouldn't have the chance to think of studying because of my nagging lower back pain when I sit, stand, lay down, walk or do anything. I couldn't even sleep because of the extreme pain. The only thing that could relieve my pain was a long hot bath or a hot shower but the pain would just come back again. But now I am able to sit and lay down flat on my back with out the pain anymore so this is really a great improvement!

I just have to show up tomorrow for my physical therapy and I'm sure that I'm going to be able to work soon and be fit enough to study and prepare for my TOEFL iBT exam. My holidays are starting to be brighter all along.

A Heart That Bleeds

It never ceases to amaze me how some people can say and do nasty things to other people with out any hesitation. I wish I could do that too. I wish I could just hurt people and never regret it in the end but I just can't. I can't hurt other people nor do I want to hurt them. It makes me ashamed to say that whenever I do things like not saying hi to anyone I know or not being polite to anyone makes me suffer the next day.

I hate it how I tend to reflect upon my actions at the end of the day. I envy those that can just say what ever they want at the spur of the moment without any guilt what so ever. I hate it that I have a heart that bleeds so easily.

Maybe I'm just too week, letting myself be affected too much by the actions of other people. Maybe in this heartless and cold world I have to raise all my defenses if I want to save my self from emotional scars.

I'm just glad that I'm not alone whenever wrong has been done unto me because somehow I get to feel how my Savior was persecuted. I just think of Jesus Christ and I can just smile and in a way forgive.

I don't want to be a nasty person. I don't want to be someone so full of hate and negativity. I want to live my life peacefully.

Stupid Obstacles

There are several obstacles to my future right now. I had already gone through the pains of getting my school documents together and sending them from the Philippines to here in Canada and now I have to face new problems.

First I have to pass a Test of Spoken English. Well there was that English Proficiency Test too but I was able to meet that requirement because I studied for three years in Xavier University which was recognized by University of Alberta. Now I just have to pass that TOEFL iBT this coming January 10, 2009 and I'm all set. But this is better said than done because I have to get a speaking points of 26 from a range of 0-30. Who guessed that speaking English well will determine my future. People does say that my English is very good but sometimes I get my tongue twisted and I say awkward stuff.

But even if I pass that Test of Spoken English I still would have to deal with funding my education. I can get that student loan but I'm torn into two because I want to buy a car but if I buy a car then it would show that I'm not in financial need, which I am. But I guess that buying a car would be ok, I just have to buy a car less than $6,000 but what kind of car would I get with $6,000? If it has heating and it's automatic then I'm fine with that.

Life is sure full of complexities. Tomorrow I have to face my manager and tell her that I don't like it when they send me to other stores... let's see what happens tomorrow.