Friday, April 28, 2006

JUST A REMINDER TO BE SAFE COMING & GOING

JUST A REMINDER TO BE SAFE COMING & GOING
READ this. It may save your life or that of your mother, sister, daughter, friend.
We can now add to the list of victims the retired 77 yr. old TCU professor from Ft Worth whose body was found last week in Oklahoma--and the 11 yr. old in Sarasota, FL. Because of these recent abductions in daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you know.
After reading these 10 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5 . A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.)
Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat
B.)
If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably ! in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Yell !!FIRE.!! 95% of people will respond to !!FIRE!! as to a 25% who will respond if you only yell HELP.

************* Here it is *******

10. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door."

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby ----This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it on to them as well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better to be safe than sorry.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Grey’s Anatomy and Scrubs… And Pokemon!

One thing that I really enjoy during my summer break is watching my 3 most favorite shows on TV!!! Grey’s Anatomy and Scrubs are two great shows that I really love and they would give me an insight of my future profession. I so love watching these medical comedy/drama shows because they are entertaining and so educational. I feel great after watching these shows because I really am certain that my chosen profession really suites me and is really great!!! Dreams here I come! I really will work hard to attain my goals and I will run-over or kill any one who gets in my way! Grrr!
And of course there is Pokemon! My parents will be sure that I will be at home before 8:00 pm because that is when one of my favorite shows is on. I know that I’m already in college and I am already slightly corrupted by media and stuff but I can’t help it if watching pokemon brings out the inner child in me. I’m not doing wrong by watching Pokemon so let me be! Besides it’s better than watching porn which will just send me straight to hell!
I also love Bones, a detective/crime/forensic/medical series, which by the way is so cool! You see I kind of see my self as a forensic doctor or something someday! It really is so cool to bust the bad guys and make them pay for their sins! If only I had the power to pass judgment on the sinners then I would make them pay for their sins with death! I should really take a little break from my grim angel imagination things. I’ll write more about grim angels on my next post.

Fame in the Family

I can’t say that my family is perfect, but I wonder if there is really a so called perfect family. But I don’t care if my family is not a perfect one because I still love my family all the same. I’m not really going to talk about why I love my family or why I sometimes have difficulties with them. I’m going to talk about my cousins.
Yes, I sure do love my cousins even though I’m not that close top them. You know what? I wonder if I really belong to our family because I don’t seem to be in the same spectrum as they are. I’m not saying that I am all so perfect but I can’t just help think why I’m so different as compared to my cousins. Don’t get me wrong. I look up to my cousins and I really am proud of them. You see my cousins are not the normal people you see on the street for these cousins of mine are extraordinary. They really stand out from the crowd because they have great physical appearances; my cousins are hot and beautiful. They also have this amazing energy that they have; they literally are the life of the party. They dress with style and they have a lot of friends. They also are very talented and very musically inclined. But my cousins are not the wanna-be’s or the trying hard social climbers for being classy and famous is in the blood of my cousins. They are not conceited and self-centered and they really are very good people.
Now, why am I so different from them? Well of course I am also famous and good looking like them because it runs in the blood, just kidding. I am totally different from them. I am an introvert and I am a nerd. But I don’t blame my cousins at all for being a little distracted because if I have the prowess of my cousins I wouldn’t care about school. But what can I do? I just love school, it’s the only thing I’m good at… buhuhu…
Anyway, even if I am not that close with my cousins I really look up to them and I so wish to be like them someday. Someday, I will make my family proud! They just won’t be proud to see me graduate with a cum laude or Magna Cum laude award, they would also be proud of me because of my other talents and skills which I hope to develop and have (hahaha).

To Be or Not To Be… Depressed…

I am once again in my state of depression. I sometimes wonder if I have a severe depression disorder that I should have consulted immediately. But I have to admit, I do love being depressed. Let’s just say that being depressed brings out the best in me. Make the best out of everything bad right? Why sulk and be unproductive while being depressed? Instead, I pull my self together and channel all my emotions and produce something creative, interesting, and substantial. This essay, if you can call this an essay, is an example of the product of my depressed state. I am sometimes amazed by the things I can do when I’m depressed as compared to when I’m in my sane yet indolent, a fancy word for lazy, self. When I’m depressed I can write short stories, essays, I can imagine things, etc.
So why am I depressed? Here’s one reason, I keep on remembering this person. God! How can I forget someone that I have grown to obsessed with?! Oh yes! It’s about that person again that I try so hard to forget. But maybe I shouldn’t forget this person… Maybe I should just make this a lesson for me… a sort of motivation. Anyway, even if I overly obsess about this person I still am sane, I think. I wonder why I always think of this person, setting up scenarios where I meet this person suddenly and I then see myself being strong and slightly arrogant, trying so hard to imply that I’m ok and create that I-don’t-need-you aura. In whole honesty, I don’t really need this person or want to be with this person. The only problem is I can’t get rid of this person in my head. Why am I stupid enough not to forget this person? I’m smart right? I’m a person of strength and dignity! But why do I stoop so low fir this person who doesn’t care or even notice my existence! Hey I take that back! I don’t merely exist! I live baby!!! Well… so I believe. But do I really live? Or do I merely exist?
Grr! See what I mean? I’m saying stupid things again to myself… But hey, it’s not as if someone that really matter would read this right? No offense to the one reading this right now.
Would you look at that! I’m getting through my depression already. Sometimes I just wish that I can just turn my depression on and off when I wanted so that I could be able to write a lot of things… On second thought, never mind! You see, I say the most stupid things when I have these strong emotions, and I end up regretting that I opened my big mouth. But wait! Hey! I should stop saying sorry! What have I done wrong anyway? Like the people around me also hurt me but I don’t hear them apologizing to me! And I have to be the one remorseful for something where they should be the one apologizing and not me. Sometimes I just wish that I can just rip out the hearts of the people I hate to know if they really have hearts, but my conscience is very strong, it’s such a pity.
Once again, Mr. Depressed is signing off… Please be with me for more depressed updates… Gosh I’m so pathetic! And that is one thing I don’t want to be. Like I don’t need anyone ok! I just want to be strong and do things by myself and succeed in life by my self. Maybe I should just get my self a canine companion in the future so that I won’t be lonely. At least a dog will really be there for me every time I go home and will listen to me and would show me affection. Comparing a human partner and a canine partner, I choose the dog more! At least the dog doesn’t hurt you emotionally. Ok I’m already sulking and putting on that I’m-not-happy-because-of-you attitude.

Sunday, April 2, 2006

The Trade with the Devil

I made a short story but it isn't finish yet... Please read and messgae me your comments wether I should continue this plot or dump it. Constructive criticism only, no flaming please... Hehehe... Thanks!
The Trade with the Devil

“Come to me son of Adam, let me take away your pain, your sorrow, and all your troubles,” calls the eerie voice from the mysterious box.
“It’s so weird! What is this? Who’s talking to me? What is that sad bizarre melody?” uttered Sam to himself.
The voice again called for Sam, “Come to me son of Adam! Let me free you from your bondage. Let me free you from your misery and torment!”
“Misery? Yes… My life is empty… I am hollow. I don’t want to feel this way. I’m so lonely, scared, and hurt. I don’t want to do this any longer!” cried Sam.
“Yes! Come to me!” the voice became louder and more intense.
“Wait! What is this? Why is this happening? Stop! Stop!” Sam helplessly screamed.
“This is what you prayed and wished for. This is what you wanted! You cannot turn back from your destiny! Give me your soul! Let me free you from your mortal self! Let me take you away from the life that you hated the most! I will give you a new life! A life of darkness without human weakness of love, joy, and all of the feelings that only man can feel!” shouted the voice.
“No! No! No! It’s the devil! No! I did not wish for this! I don’t want any of that! I was only depressed. I was only sad for a while, I don’t want anything from you!” Sam shouted in despair.
“Hahahaha! You cannot turn back! You summoned me! Son of Adam! Give me your soul and I will give you eternal life! A life without hunger, pain, or suffering! A life of the living dead! Hahahahaha!” laughed the devil.
“No!!! Stop! No! God help me!” Sam raved like a madman.

The devil’s shape and form grew more visible as the bloody red mist flowed out of the music box. Darkness was surrounding the room as the devil approached Sam, there was no where he can run to. Sam’s heart was beating furiously as the devil was reaching for Sam with its huge sharp claws. With one swipe, Sam felt a part of him taken away and he suddenly falls to his back as darkness and the cold envelopes him.

Morning finally came and the sun’s rays broke through the thick dark curtains of Sam’s windows. Sam slowly rises to his feet and tries to remember what happened.

“Why was I sleeping on the floor? What happened to me?” asked Sam. As he turned his head, quick flashbacks of what happened last night rushed through his head like continuous snapshots. “My God! It was only a dream. It should only be a dream. Oh God I wish it was only a dream,” Sam frantically said as he stares at the gold music box on the floor.
Sam rushes to the bathroom and looks at himself on the mirror. He looks fine, although he was pale and very dark eye bags formed beneath his eyes because of the sleepless nights he had ever since his nightmares began. He began filling the bathtub with hot water and then added some cold water to cool the water a bit. He dipped his hands in but strangely he did not feel anything.
“My God! No! What is going on here?” Sam panicked. He took some razor blades from the medicine cabinet and started cutting himself. To his horror blood was gushing out from his wounds but he did not feel any pain at all. He started hitting himself but he just couldn’t feel anything.
“No! It wasn’t a dream! What am I going to do? Am I… am I dead?” Sam said to himself.

Boredom...

Wala lang I'm bored... I've been sitting infront of this stupid monitor and I am bored... Like hell! My download is taking forever to finish and I am hungry! No! I'm thinking of food again! I so love foos and I just eat and eat especially when I'm depressed. It really makes me happy... hey it's better than drugs right? Anyway I just love food and I love enjoying the flavor... wait, ok Vincent snap out of it! Think about other things! Yey! My download is starting to speed up... anyway, why am I posting this? Wala lang, just want to express myself and be heard by my friends out there.It is lonely being alone and I'm glad that I have friends to call my own.And my download is done! Yey! Anyway... Uwi na ako bye! Huh? What was that all about? Sorry I'm crazy today.Like I went to school, yeah yeah I know, I'm a nerd I love school. anyway, I went early to have an edge over the other enrollees so that I'll get ahead in the line to find out that I was a day early! It so happened that the grades and the green enrollment form is to be given away tomorrow and the enrollment-proper is on wednesday, the day after! Buhuhu! I have to come back again tomorrow so that I'll be the4 first to enroll! Wahahaha! It helps being sneaky sometimes! Hey I'm still enrolling on the assigned date, the only difference is that I acquired my requirements a ay before. Hey they should give me a break, I still have to pass my grades to the Academic Affairs Office and there are a lot of scholars at XU.So I have to return tomorrow... Wait... I wonder if I spelled tomorrow right? Yup it's right. At last, I would be doing something productive this summer, staying at home is boring! I can't believe I love school thismuch. I hope that I don't have Over-Reacting and Incompetent teachers this summer classes. I'm not really saying that all teachers at XU are bad but there are a few who really aren't student-friendly and they don't create an environment conductive to learning. But I have to say all my teachers in the first sem of this school year were excellent! But sorry folks, I won't backstab the teachers I don't like here. Maybe some placelse hehehe joke. But I do love my teachers, they really are great except for a minor few.
Please visit my blog vincentbautista.blogspot.com and please do not post anything about porn. I do not want free porn and you know who you are!!! Come on! There is more to life than sex! I hate sex maniacs! Grr!!!!
Anyway, have a great summer to all. Bye! Love you guys and thanks!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Random Thoughts...

ON DEPRESSION…
I don’t know I have been depressed these past weeks… Maybe it’s just because I’m bored to death because I don’t have anything to do. There are a couple of good shows on TV but I don’t want to watch TV the whole day. Playing computer games is a waste of time. I try to be more productive by trying to write a short story or something but I don’t finish it because I’m not in the mood (I usually write when I’m depressed, this is when all my creative juice flows out). I want to sing but I don’t want the people in the house to hear and I’m just too lazy to open my books and study (hey I have to familiarize my self with human biology because this is my future career). What is wrong with me? I can’t wait for summer classes! I’d rather study than stay at home and rot. Well it is good to be able to be at home and rest but I want to do something worthwhile, something that gives meaning to my life.

ON LOVE…
Anyway, I hate my self for not being able to get over someone. Well I did took the risk of blurting out my feelings but I accept what happened but I can’t seem to move on. I’m still obsessed over this person. Like what is wrong with me?! My brain has totally failed me. But I have to move on… I just have to. I just hate being in love. It totally sucks if the one you love doesn’t even care that you existed. But I wonder when I will meet the one for me? But all I care about right now is to forget this person and just move on with my beloved nerdy life!

ON SELF DEVELOPMENT…
Thank God at least my whole summer wasn’t a waste of time. I did get to attend this great Leadership Awareness Workshop of the KKP-SIP (Kristohanong Katilingban sa Pagpakabana – Social Involvement Program) and I did get to see my self and it made my big head bigger. I am a good leader and people see that except that I sometime am sick and tired of always being held responsible for everything. Sure I love being the leader but I need the full support of everyone too.

I’M SCARED…
I suddenly am gripped with the realization that my future is so uncertain. I still look down at my self and my capabilities. But most of all, I am scared that I will grow all alone. But I have to be optimistic right? I am scared but I will face the future with hope and courage.

Friday, March 10, 2006

An Update on my Life

Today is Friday, March 10, 2006. I don’t have any exams for today yippee! I have all the time in the world to sleep and just laze around. Yeah right! I still have a term paper in history to finish and I have to study for chemistry!!! But I know that I can handle this! Hehehe… So far I did have enough sleep, I slept like a rock last night. I am now fully energized. I’m just blogging to warm up my brain for the stress and strain it will experience once I open my research files for my term paper entitled: “Uncovering the Truth Behind the Marcos Millions”. My exams were amazingly easy but I just don’t know how I faired but I’m confident that I passed, but I don’t just want to have an average or an above average mark but I do deserve my grade because I admit that I haven’t been giving my best lately. But this summer, I aim to get straight A’s. Imagine three subjects everyday! I can really give out my best in this situation!!! I’m already so excited! So far life has been good. I’m happy… but for how long? But I would rather study than laze around already hehehe… I’m excited for 2nd year because I’ve heard that it wouldn’t be AHSE-II (Associate in Health Science) any longer but directly BSN-2 (BS in Nursing)!!! I would really strive hard for my major subjects that are related to my career than the less important subjects like Filipino and PE that I believe have no relation to my career at all. But I would still have to do well in them though or I loose my scholarship buhuhu… Any way I guess I have nothing else to say.

Brokeback Mountain - Reaction Paper

PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF THE CORRECTIONS: Del Mar instead of Keith (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist instead of Jake (Jake Gyllenhaal)….
This movie is really great and it deserves the 7 Golden Globe Awards! It’s typically about two males falling for each other. And for those who are wondering, NO! This movie is not a sex-flick or something. This movie has great intellectual content and must be approached with logic. Brokeback Mountain is the place where our two lead characters, Jack and Keith, meet and work together as sheepherders or shepherds. This is where the forces of nature take over them both. They start to fall for each other and boom they have sex. The situation was also conducive for the act to occur because it was cold in the mountains and they only have a tent and a few blankets to warm them. They had to huddle close together to share precious body heat. I don’t know if any of them was gay or bisexual. In my understanding a gay is someone who is only attracted to the same sex and even wishes to become a female and that they don’t have any interest in females. Bisexuals on the other hand or the “double-blades” can be attracted to both male and female. But as the story progresses, we find out that our characters get married. But I can say that Jake is the one who is more prone to be the gay or more female partner because he was the one who started everything. Jake seduced Keith and was even the one who wants to really start a relationship with Keith. Keith on the other hand is very reserved or more appropriately described as discreet because he also loves Jake as shown by his great excitement when after 4 years they have parted ways he heard from Jake. Keith even cried and even broke down when he and Jake parted ways. It was the year 1969 and homosexual love was after all not yet accepted by society and the guilty parties of breaking the mores of society are killed or dehumanized by many hate crimes.
But even if they were both gay, or if Jake was the only one who was gay, we cannot help but think why this strange happening could happen. What causes one to be gay or bisexual? As I’ve learned in my psychology class, homosexuality and it’s derivatives (eg bisexuality) is caused by heredity and/or the environment. But I believe that it is both nature and nurture that causes this. And it is not considered as a disorder or as abnormal by psychologists and sociologists because it has already become a natural occurring phenomenon and homosexuality could be traced even way before and some great men are homosexuals like Napoleon Bonaparte.
Please also take note that it is a scientific proven fact that love is not exclusive to the heterosexual. I am not saying this because I am a supporter of the homosexuals and neither am I their persecutor. I’m just writing this as a sort of reaction/reflection paper for the great movie that I am proud to have watched.
But I must say that I condemn those people who are disrespectful to the homosexuals or those who persecute them. We must be compassionate and understanding that some of them did not wish to be homosexual but as I said their nurturing and environment formed them to who they are right now. And I believe that being straight or being a heterosexual does not make us superior to the homosexuals. I really hate it when some people especially the uneducated males who often harass homosexuals and treat them as if they are lower beings as compared to them. I believe that there is no scale for measuring the worth of the person because every person has worth but in this case I could say that the uneducated prejudiced males and even some females are lesser beings if they don’t use their logic or if they aren’t compassionate because I believe that intelligence and emotions are the two things that sets us apart from the common beasts of the earth.

I Wish I Could Quit You
“I wish I could quit you,” said Jake when he and Keith were fighting at Brokeback Mountain. They were both unhappy with the way things are happening because Jake wants to settle down with Keith but Keith is unable to decide what he wants in life, Jake or the “normal” life with a woman as a partner. But we can say that Jake and Keith do love each other. What they have is not just a sexual fling or just a way to receive sexual pleasure because if that is what they both are after they can get that anytime they wanted to. Jake with all his money could just drive down to Mexico and buy himself a prostitute while Keith could sleep with any woman he wanted. But this is not the case because the relationship that they both have goes beyond mere companionship or call of the flesh. They both loved each other.
It really struck me when Jake said the lines, “I wish I could quit you…” because by experience I also have felt this. This line is not for the homosexual love alone, in fact there is no difference between homosexual love and heterosexual love. The only difference is that having a homosexual type of relationship would literally mean “you and me against the world” because society is against this (well the close-minded people at least). If you really love someone it is hard to just forget that person even if you are already being crushed. But I’d write about this in another topic. Let’s go back to Keith and Jake.

A Happy Life
I believed that if Keith only followed his heart then he would have lived a happy life with Jake and he wouldn’t be living all alone right now. And Jake wouldn’t have met an accident if he didn’t keep on drinking to forget Keith. I know that I am committing the fallacy “hypothesis contrary to fact” but this is what I believe would be the outcome of they only followed their hearts.
Maybe the lesson that the movie is trying to convey is that one, love is not for the heterosexual alone. Second, we must follow our hearts because we might just regret our foolish mistake of leaving the one we really love.

Synopsis - Brokeback Mountain

From Academy Award-winning filmmaker Ang Lee comes an epic American love story, Brokeback Mountain, the winner of the Golden Lion Award for Best Picture at this year's Venice International Film Festival. The film is based on the short story by Pulitzer Prize-winning author Annie Proulx and adapted for the screen by the team of Pulitzer Prize-winning author Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana. Set against the sweeping vistas of Wyoming and Texas, the film tells the story of two young men -- a ranch-hand and a rodeo cowboy -- who meet in the summer of 1963, and unexpectedly forge a lifelong connection, one whose complications, joys, and tragedies provide a testament to the endurance and power of love.
Early one morning in Signal, Wyoming, Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) meet while lining up for employment with local rancher Joe Aguirre (Randy Quaid). The world which Ennis and Jack have been born into is at once changing rapidly and yet scarcely evolving. Both young men seem certain of their set places in the heartland – obtaining steady work, marrying, and raising a family – and yet hunger for something beyond what they can articulate. When Aguirre dispatches them to work as sheepherders up on the majestic Brokeback Mountain, they gravitate towards camaraderie and then a deeper intimacy.
At summer's end, the two must come down from Brokeback and part ways. Remaining in Wyoming, Ennis weds his sweetheart Alma (Michelle Williams), with whom he will have two daughters as he ekes out a living. Jack, in Texas, catches the eye of rodeo queen Lureen Newsome (Anne Hathaway). Their courtship and marriage result in a son, as well as jobs in her father's business.
Four years pass. One day, Alma brings Ennis a postcard from Jack, who is en route to visit Wyoming. Ennis waits expectantly for his friend, and when Jack at last arrives, in just one moment it is clear that the passage of time has only strengthened the men's attachment. In the years that follow, Ennis and Jack struggle to keep their secret bond alive. They meet up several times annually. Even when they are apart, they face the eternal questions of fidelity, commitment, and trust. Ultimately, the one constant in their lives is a force of nature – love.
A Focus Features and River Road Entertainment Presentation. An Ang Lee Film. Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal. Brokeback Mountain. Linda Cardellini, Anna Faris, Anne Hathaway, Michelle Williams, and Randy Quaid. Casting, Avy Kaufman, C.S.A. Costume Design, Marit Allen. Music Supervision, Kathy Nelson. Music by Gustavo Santaolalla. Edited by Geraldine Peroni, Dylan Tichenor, A.C.E. Production Designer, Judy Becker. Director of Photography, Rodrigo Prieto, A.S.C., A.M.C. Co-Producer, Scott Ferguson. Executive Producer, Alberta Film Entertainment. Executive Producers, William Pohlad, Larry McMurtry, Michael Costigan, Michael Hausman. Producers, Diana Ossana, James Schamus. Based on the short story by Annie Proulx. Screenplay by Larry McMurtry & Diana Ossana. Directed by Ang Lee. A Focus Features Release.

Tuesday, March 7, 2006

GOD'S JUSTICE VINDICATED


GOD'S JUSTICE VINDICATED
Among the many and various teachings dispensed by Elijah to his friends, there are none so important as his theodicy, the teachings vindicating God's justice in the administration of earthly affairs. He used many an opportunity to demonstrate it by precept and example. Once he granted his friend Rabbi Joshua ben Levi the fulfillment of any wish he might express, and all the Rabbi asked for was, that he might be permitted to accompany Elijah on his wanderings through the world. Elijah was prepared to gratify this wish. He only imposed the condition, that, however odd the Rabbi might think Elijah's actions, he was not to ask any explanation of them. If ever he demanded why, they would have to part company. So Elijah and the Rabbi fared forth together, and they journeyed on until they reached the house of a poor man, whose only earthly possession was a cow. The man and his wife were thoroughly good-hearted people, and they received the two wanderers with a cordial welcome. They invited the strangers into their house, set before them food and drink of the best they had, and made up a comfortable couch for them for the night. When Elijah and the Rabbi were ready to continue their journey on the following day, Elijah prayed that the cow belonging to his host might die. Before they left the house, the animal had expired. Rabbi Joshua was so shocked by the misfortune that had befallen the good people, he almost lost consciousness. He thought: "Is that to be the poor man's reward for all his kind services to us?" And he could not refrain from putting the question to Elijah. But Elijah reminded him of the condition imposed and accepted at the beginning of their journey, and they traveled on, the Rabbi's curiosity unappeased. That night they reached the house of a wealthy man, who did not pay his guest the courtesy of looking them in the face. Though they passed the night under his roof, he did not offer them food or drink. This rich man was desirous of having a wall repaired that had tumbled down. There was no need for him to take any steps to have it rebuilt, for, when Elijah left the house, he prayed that the wall might erect itself, and, lo! It stood upright. Rabbi Joshua was greatly amazed, but true to his promise he suppressed the question that rose to his lips. So the two traveled on again, until they reached an ornate synagogue, the seats in which were made of silver and gold. But the worshippers did not correspond in character to the magnificence of the building, for when it came to the point of satisfying the needs of the way-worn pilgrims, one of those present said: "There is not dearth of water and bread, and the strange travelers can stay in the synagogue, whither these refreshments can be brought to them." Early the next morning, when they were departing, Elijah wished those present in the synagogue in which they had lodged, that God might raise them all to be "heads." Rabbi Joshua again had to exercise great self-restraint, and not put into words the question that troubled him profoundly. In the next town, they were received with great affability, and served abundantly with all their tired bodies craved. On these kind hosts Elijah, on leaving, bestowed the wish that God might give them but a single head. Now the Rabbi could not hold himself in check any longer, and he demanded an explanation of Elijah's freakish actions. Elijah consented to clear up his conduct for Joshua before they separated from each other. He spoke as follows: "The poor man's cow was killed, because I knew that on the same day the death of his wife had been ordained in heaven, and I prayed to God to accept the loss of the poor man's property as a substitute for the poor man's wife. As for the rich man, there was a treasure hidden under the dilapidated wall, and, if he had rebuilt it, he would have found the gold; hence I set up the wall miraculously in order to deprive the curmudgeon of the valuable find. I wished that the inhospitable people assembled in the synagogue might have many heads, for a place of numerous leaders is bound to be ruined by reason of multiplicity of counsel and disputes. To the inhabitants of our last sojourning place, on the other hand, I wished a 'single head,' for the one to guide a town; success will attend all its undertakings. Know, then, that if thou sees an evil-doer prosper, it is not always unto his advantage, and if a righteous man suffers need and distress, think not God is unjust." After these words Elijah and Rabbi Joshua separated from each other, and each went his own way.

Waiting For Someone


WAITING FOR SOMEONE
“I’m just waiting for someone to come along and make me happy"
Mary is depressed and lonely. She feels her life is a mess. She tells herself, "If I can just find some people to like me I'll be happy."
WRONG!
When your life is a mess, happy and stable people tend to avoid you. They look for those who are basically happy and stable. While Mary is miserable and depressed, she'll only attract people who have big problems. They they’ll have twice the misery.
The same applies to waiting for lovers. We have to sort ourselves out first. If I say to you "Love me enough, and I'm sure I'll stop trying to kill myself'< that’s bound to put a strain on the relationship.
Other people can help to make us happier, but we need to be in control of our life first. When we wait for people to 'arrive' and fix everything we're courting disappointment. If they don’t arrive, we get more depressed
If they do arrive, but they don’t behave, as we want, then we get really depressed! Then we blame them and say, "you're supposed to make me happy!"
People who enjoy fulfilling, stable relationships are balanced people. They don't go looking for someone else to 'fill a hole'
They recognize their own value. In songs and movies people say, "I was NOBODY 'till I met," but in real life, that’s an unhealthy situation. You have to be SOMEBODY first. It’s no good being someone’s "other half" - you’re a whole person.
SO WHAT DO I DO?
Lets learn from Mary. She is lonely, depressed, and feels left out. She doesn’t understand why people exclude her from their plans.
She may have overlooked the fact that she’s always waiting for other people to call her up, make a move, make a date, and coax her into joining them. People get tired of coaxing you into things. They want enthusiasm.
You have to make it known that you’re ready to participate in life. The first step in making friends is a willingness to get out and meet people. You don’t meet many fascinating individuals walking between your TV and your computer.
Mary can become an initiator, and get on the phone and call up some people. "Hi, John! You may not remember me but I live across the street. Would you like to go out for a pizza?” Hi BRYLE (here) Imp thinking of doing some cycling, studying, or hang gliding this weekend. Will you join me?
The world is full of people who have conquered shyness (or arrogance or pride) and have opened up new horizons. If you plan to make some changes and some new friends, be prepared for the occasional knock back or declined invitation. Continue to make the effort and you’ll be rewarded.
To avoid disappointment, form friendships without expecting anything in return. Do things for others without demands, and you’ll never be disappointed. Some people will return favors and affection, and some wont. If you care for people because you want to, and not because you expect something back, you wont feel crushed should they fail to return a thought or favor?
The universe is essentially fair and just. If you are giving out care and affection, good things will come back to you, though not necessarily when or from where you expect.

Monday, March 6, 2006

The Johari Window

The Johari Window is used to let you know and people know who you really are in the perspective of other people and your own perspective. I have been answering or rather I have been describing people so I guess it's my time to be evaluated to know who I really am in the eyes of my friends and maybe soon to be friends (depends on your description for me, hehehe joke). Just be honest... I won't get mad hehehe.... Please follow this link....

Saturday, March 4, 2006

I'm A Reformed (well at least partly) Person!!!

I am really happy that at last I am a reformed person (well at least partly). I have learned to let go of things that have been making my heart ache. I realized that the life that I have been living is not very fulfilling and that I could live a better life. I have stopped blaming my self for everything. I have moved on with my life and that I am very happy with my decision. If people can't understand me and can't accept me for weho I am then it is their problem and not mine. I am a good person and I have a bright future ahead of me. I am a good person, yes I am... Only if people can see the real me... But I won't let anyone hold my happiness any longer... I am the weilder of my life and I chose to be happy. But I don't blame the person I love for not being the person I imagined or wanted that person to be. The guilty party here is myself for I thought that I could find love but I failed to realize that there is a time and place for everything. I let go of all my problems and heart ache. I am happy now. I won't talk or linger on about this topic any longer. I will be happy....

Wednesday, March 1, 2006

Favorite Song

I Make My Life

Never allow anyone to hold your happiness... This statement keeps on hitting me on the face but I always fail to notice it. Come on! I give up! I won't let love ruin my life! Like I'm smart, I do have looks, and I have a bright future ahead of me! Why enslave my self over someone who does not even care that I exist. Ok! I always search for happiness that I already have but I just keep on taking it for granted. Like come on! Why do I make a problem out of nothing right? Well I'm just hurt so bad and I don't understand why. Why do I have to meet the person who I thought would spend with me my love and life and in the end just disappear all of a sudden. Fine! It was a fling but sana naman I was warned and told that it was all over. Like I still have communication naman sa kanya but maybe its my fault for always assuming. Me and my assumptions!!! But its not my ex-love's fault. It's my fault. Stupid heart!!! But I survived with out this person in my life... so I'll still live. I'll even be happier!
Today is hell... I have to study for Philosophy, Politicaql Science, Religious Studies, and I have to do a stupid Filipino homework! Hay naku! Stress!!! But instead of making me go crazy, I'll use this stress to drice me more into being productive!

Monday, February 27, 2006

I'm Home Free!!!

Yipee! Only a few ore weeks hen good-bye to a 31 unit workload and welcome summer vacation!!! I do have a lot of things to accomlish before I can freely move along my AHSE-1 course but I guess I'm doing great for asomeone who lacks sleep!!! Grrr!!! I'm so sleepy all the time! But thank God that my beloved angel is there to inspire me... hehehe...okies... time to hiot the sack!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

How Long?

Wonder how long I have to wait to be really happy... maybe I am... I just don't see it yet.ü

Heartaches and Headaches


Heartaches and Headaches
This week has been the worst week ever, but things could get more ugly. I just feel so emotionally, physically, spiritually, and intellectually drained. I just want to sleep and forget that everything is real. I want to be free to do the things that I want to do. But this is just so difficult and impossible to achieve. I don’t want to move… I don’t want to think… I don’t want to feel… I want to die…. Hopelessness is slowly overcoming me. But I am the Vincent! I can do anything that I wish. I won’t let anyone else control my life! I have to fight! I have to win. I won’t be a loser! I will fight!
Ok, I can do this. As long as I can breathe and kick butt I will persevere and give everything! I can do this! I will and I can! But… It still hurts… It hurts badly… Why doesn’t everything go the way I plan things to happen? Am I just destined to be so bored and dull? I don’t want this anymore. But I won’t give up! I won’t cry over spilled milk (I’m using a lot of metaphors already and my sentence structure is a wreck, but who cares?!)! I tried my best. I let go of everything! I just want to be happy. I don’t care anymore. It’s my turn to be selfish.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Bored!

I'm so bored! Nothing is really happenming in my life... Well just a threat to my life and security but nothing that exciting. My bestfriend chose a sex maniac over me... My grades are ok... but not that impressive... My love life is a big dull... But still exciting every now and then.ü I'm already this close to a stalker level hehehe.ü It's only a matter of time that I go berserk and just go jump ut of a building or something. Oh yes! This saturday is prom night! My God! Prom! Again? My last prom was a drag... no it's not a drag... it just sucked that's all. But hope this prom won't suck that much. My partner is a good friend of mine and I do hope that I get to see my high school crush. Hehehe... High school life all over again. What do I want to do right now? Sleep and eat! Buhuhu... Still have to study for political science and philosophy for tomorrow. Hey at least i did great in history even if I did not get to study our assignment for our test. Still got a 31 (or was it 32?) over 40. I still love God... He has always been good to me. I just hope that God gives me a sign to tell me the right things to do. I know that I have free will and everything but I hope He gives me options or something. Hmm.. Have nothing else to say... Hay naku life... sucks... heheheü

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Who Am I?

Who am I? This is a question that has puzzled me ever since my mind matured enough to see the true world in its true nature. What is my purpose in this world? What will happen to me in the future? What are the things I should do? What do I want? These are some of the other questions that bother me everyday… I search for who I am, my true identity, and my destiny…
Right now I can easily say who I am in terms of status and role. I am 17 years old, an AHSE-1 student enrolled at XU, and the eldest of the two sons that my parents have. I board at an apartment with family friends and had lived this independent and self-reliant ever since 1st year high school at XUHS. This is the reason why at a very young age I was already exposed tom the harsh realities that the world is unkind and not everyone is as caring like the ones I hear in stories.
I have many dreams and goals that I want to accomplish. I want to be a doctor someday with BS Nursing as my pre-med. I am an achiever and I have been getting high grades but these days I seem to be over-worked and stressed out that it is already affecting my performance. But I am going to change this somehow. I can be an intellectual snob I have to admit but this doesn’t mean that I don’t make friends with my peers. In fact my peers see me as the shy, silent type with the good heart. I am an introvert and I tend to hide my feelings (except to people I have grown accustomed to and who I feel that I can trust).
I am a loyal and loving person. If I have a friend, I will forever be loyal and caring for that friend. I am the type of friend who will always try to be there always. I am really a nice person but somehow this personality is masked with a serious and self-kept person because by experience I have learned that it is the nice ones who tend to get hurt easily.
I have never been religious. I don’t frequently attend Sunday masses but somehow I am finding God once again and He has been keeping me strong.
For my hobbies, I really am not the athletic type so I tend to stay indoors most of the time. I love watching TV (especially the detective-medical stories, anime, and music channels), playing computer games (RPG Gameboy games), surfing the net, chatting, blogging, and sleeping (ZzZzZ…). I also love reading fantasy books but I don’t seem to have the time, especially during school days, to read. I also love watching movies especially the suspense-thriller type. I also love singing and listening to music. I also love lazing around doing nothing to think about things… reflecting and mostly relaxing.
Now the boring part… I am a student activist and I want to contribute to the good of all. I am a pro-government person and I will do everything to uphold justice and the rights of the people.
I don’t really have vices… but I have learned to enjoy drinking once in a while. I did try smoking but I never got addicted to it since I don’t have the time to buy hehehe… I am a coffee addict though and I simply can’t live without it!!!
What else can I say? I can be funny and daring too… Actually I am a very KSP person and I love bugging people who I am comfortable with. You can always see me with a smile but I am not plastic, I am grumpy and hot-headed when someone makes my day bad and if I don’t like someone I don’t pretend that I like that person.
What more can I say? Ah! I can have dramatic mood swings! One moment I’m depressed the other moment I’m very happy! This is the reason why I sometimes don’t get to finish my blogging because I only blog when I’m depressed. Oh yes! I hate history and memorizing things that I feel are irrelevant to me… On the other hand I love Biology and I love Nursing!!!
I used to be pessimistic but I am now optimistic and I am using the motto of the Dead Poet’s Society: Carpe Diem! Seize the Day! Every second of the day counts so the outcome of the day depends on us. We hold our destiny and we are the ones who choose to be happy or not.
And yes I can be schizophrenic at times and just talk balderdash… hehehe!
What more can I say? Ah! I love emoting that’s why I’m good at acting (well at least that is what my friends say hehehe).

My Ideas On Love

Sometimes I ask my self what is love? Well for me love is when you are willing to give to someone everything even if it means that you have to throw away your pride and allow yourself to be vulnerable to pain, the worst case of this is rejection. A psychologist told me that I am still a boy. I am not mature enough to know the feelings that I feel. I frequently tell my self that I love someone unconditionally; I will love and accept this person for who this person really is and accept this person along with the person’s flaws and shortcomings. Unconditional love also means loving someone even if that someone doesn’t love you back. I have experienced this kind of love already. In fact I’ve given two people my unconditional love. The first was my high school crush and the second is my elder mentor, a deviant angel, a rebel.
Loving someone is quite hard. You keep thinking of that person and dream that you can talk to that person and be able to freely express your emotions and just show whom you really are. True love is loving until it hurts and you simply don’t care if it hurts. Loving does not mean ownership. Sometimes the right person comes at the wrong time and sometimes the wrong person comes at the right time. Love is a game where logic is useless. One cannot understand love, one can only feel it.
I am still young and still have a lot to learn. But until the right time comes I will have to explore… Be in love, be hurt, and be in love again…

Term Paper! In the Mind of Serial Killers!!!

Copyright!!! Ifyou want to usae this as reference please don't forget to add my URL to your bibliography! Thanks! ü

IN THE MIND OF SERIAL KILLERS
In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements in English IV
XUHS
February 14, 2005

Introduction
In each and every human being hides an animal. This animal has jagged fangs and huge sharp claws, ready to pounce on any unfortunate soul. Yet this animal fortunately had been asleep for so long now and it will surely cause havoc and fear if ever it awakens.
This animal is the instinct that has been programmed in every human being since the beginning, the instinct to kill. Killing has been an essential tool for self-preservation and survival as it follows the law of the jungle that only the fittest and strongest will survive, kill or be killed. One must learn to kill to feed one’s self and to be able to defend one’s self from the what ever threat there is to one’s existence. Being weak is not an option; one must be vicious to survive.
But as mankind and civilization evolved and developed, man was ultimately separated from the class of animals and a new social order had been formed. Man had gained knowledge and soon learned that to kill another human being is immoral and unethical, a sin not only to God but also to the society. Every human being’s right to life has been protected and if ever anyone neglects this right, the accused must be penalized and justice should be implemented. Thus the term murder was fashioned.
This is why it is so disturbing to discover people whose urge to kill is uncontrollable and even finds pleasure in torturing and murdering people. These people are the feared new class of criminals. They are human beings who believe they take control when they torture and brutally butcher innocent victims just to satisfy their unearthly desires.
These people are the serial killers who feel no remorse and empathy for human beings. They are the ultimate killing machine; they are inconspicuous and blend in the crowd. They are undetectable and are very unpredictable always ready to strike again any time.
Who are these killers? What makes them do all of these killing? What is in the mind of a serial killer?
The Serial Killer
History of Serial Killing
The authors of CarpeNoctem and Wikepedia both agree that there is really no exact date when serial killing began but serial killing seems to be a modern phenomenon. In any historical survey, serial killing might have begun in ancient Rome, when Emperor Caligula indulged in his cannibalistic ways. Some myths like the vampire and werewolves were inspired by medieval serial killers. The Scottish cannibal Sawney Beane and the Impaler were known as vampires for drinking their victim’s blood and their obsession with blood. The ferocious butchering of their victims gave the psychopathic peasants Gilles Ganier and Peter Stubbe their title as werewolves. There were also rich and powerful aristocrats who were serial killers. In the 15th century, Gille de Rais (“Bluebeard”) abducted, raped, and murdered at least a hundred young boys while Elizabeth Bathory (the “Blood Countess”) tortured and butchered at least 600 young girls. One of the earliest documented and famous serial murderer is the unidentified Jack the Ripper who slaughtered prostitutes in the streets of London in 1888. This crime gained a lot of media coverage since it had been the first time for people to hear of people who murder for sheer pleasure.
Albeit Wikepedia states that the first serial killer was an Italian man named Eusebius Pieydagnelle as noted by Krafft-Ebing in his famous 1886 book, Psychopathia Sexualis.
It wasn’t until the post-World War II period that serial murder became rampant. During the 1970’s, the period of the Berk and Bundy, Kemper and Gacy, Bianchi and Buono (the “Hillside Stranglers”), law enforcement officials had to define the phenomenon as a major category of crime. By the 1980’s serial killing had been a plague and epidemic as criminologists characterize the problem.
Comparison between Serial Murder and Plain Murder
As Macalester College killers/serialkillers.html> says, a serial murder is when the killer has killed three or more victims in a period of time. The reason is not for material gain but because of the killer’s desire to have power over his victim. These victims are usually defenseless and have no direct-relationship with the killer. A serial murder is committed usually by a male or in very rare cases a killer may have an accomplice. After a certain “cooling down” or “cooling of” period the serial murder may be committed again but with another victim.
On the other hand, plain murder is defined as the unlawful killing of one human being by another, especially with malice aforethought (The Grolier International Dictionary, 1988). Macalester College adds that a “normal” murder would be due to two basic motivations, a reaction and for gain. Plain murder would simply be an outcome of an event, a quarrel, rage, reaction to insult, etc. Some murders also happen for self-gain (money, power, revenge, and protection).
There are cases of murder that seem like a serial murder but are really just plain murder. Wikepedia for example shows that spree murders and mass murders aren’t serial murders. Serial Murders are committed by a serial killer who murders four or more victims over a period of time yet have cooling-off periods in-between were they return to their normal, pleasant, and law-abiding selves. A spree murder is when the killer kills continuously until the killer is caught. Spree Murder don’t have in-between cooling-down periods. Mass murder on the other hand is done by an individual who kills four or more people in a single event. It also does not have a cooling-down period and is a one-time event.
Definition of a Serial Killer
Wikepedia states that the term “serial killer” was coined by Robert Ressler, an FBI agent, in the 1970’s so that criminologists could distinguish those who claim victims over a long period of time from those who claim multiple victims at once (mass murders) and spree killers.
A serial killer is defined by Encarta 08/serialkillers.html> as someone who murders a couple or number of people over a period of time, especially somebody who uses the same method each time.
Norris, Joel grants that serial killers belong to a newly identified class of criminals called serial murderers, motiveless killers, recreational killers, spree killers or lust killers whose numbers are increasing at an alarming rate every year.
Profile of a Serial Killer
As Scott, Shirley Lynn states, spotting a serial killer is very hard because they are very intelligent predators. They blend in very well with people. They don’t know how to be compassionate but they merely imitate other people to look normal. That is why serial killers are called as “actors” for they can imitate the personality of their victims and they can easily manipulate them. They are so good at manipulating others that one will never expect that they are vicious killers. They can simply be any one; they are charming, well-dressed, polite, and well-mannered. Macalester College adds that a serial killer is usually male aged 25-35 and is white. He can be of high or low income and is usually married. His intellect ranges from below average to above average and is from all walks of life like his victims. His chosen victims are not closely related to him but have symbolic meaning to him or to his “taste” in victims. A serial killer can be anyone, socially inept or a loner.
More importantly, the website conveys to us that a majority of serial killers have been abused sexually and physically as children. Half of the serial killers have fathers who left them at the age of twelve or worse, their fathers would be present but would brutally abuse them. Sometimes, their mothers are seductive and both parents reject their child and they fail to give nurturing and emotional support.
In their childhood, future serial killers maybe distinguished by three characteristics, called the terrible triad, namely bed-wetting, fire-starting, and animal torture. But there is no guarantee that if these conditions are present a child will become a serial killer, they are just early warnings to be aware of.
Contradictory to the claim above, FBI agents R. Ressler, A. Burgers, and J. Douglas, were able to compile a chart of childhood behavior traits among 36 serial killers. The listed behaviors are quite disturbing like self-mutilation, convulsions, cruelty to children, and assault to adults. Although the terrible triad is present the top three indicators are daydreaming, compulsive masturbation, and isolation.
Types of Serial Killers
The websites , Wikepedia , and Macalester College www.macalester.edu/~psych/whathap/ubnrp/serialkillers/serialkillers.html> displays the five types of serial killers based on their motives.
The first type is the visionary motive type. Serial killers of this type are considered as insane and psychotic. Serial killers claim that they hear voices in their head telling them to kill. Some even have visions and other hallucinations.
The second type is the missionary-oriented motive type. These serial killers justify their killing by saying that they kill because they will make the world a better place. They are on a mission to exterminate a certain group who to them is immoral and unacceptable like prostitutes and homosexuals.
The third type is the thrill-oriented motive type or the hedonistic type. The serial killers who belong to this group are killers who kill because they derive pleasure from it. They enjoy killing and as their killing continues, they become better at killing to improve the enjoyment they get from it.
The fourth type is the lust killer. The killer kills for sexual gratification. They get sexually aroused in torturing their victims.
The last type is the power/control type. This type is the most common among all serial killers. The killers of this type may have been abused as children and it made them feel powerless and inadequate. That is why their main objective for killing is to gain and exert power over their victims so that they may in turn be the oppressor and not the oppressed.
Causes of Serial Killer Behavior
Internal
As Ressler, et.al. states in their book, Sexual Homicide: Patterns and Motives, Fantasy is an elaborate thought with great preoccupation, anchored in emotion and having origins in daydreams. Fantasies are usually experienced as thoughts, although the individual maybe conscious of images, feelings, and actual internal dialogue.
Again, Macalester College serialkillers/fantasies.html> adds that fantasy drives behavior. Fantasy is self-hypnotization. Fantasies are so powerful that one can even remove pain if someone believes and dream that they are not in that present situation, a common happening in abused children. Usually serial killers in their childhood were preoccupied and actually preferred the fantasy life. Serial killers are always fantasizing about violent and sexualized thoughts prior to their first murder. These serial killers even kill just to make these fantasies of killing come true. After their first kill, they will fantasize again how to perfect their ability to kill. Studies have shown that fantasies are directly link to sadistic acts of violence.
In the same fashion, Wikepedia says that fantasies of serial killers are usually molded from pornography, frequently the violent type involving bondage, from detective magazines, and some serial killers even said that their fantasies have been influenced by the Bible, particularly the Revelation.
Norris, Joel points that aggression is the hostile or destructive behavior that is used in an attempt to dominate. It includes behaviors necessary for human survival but also those leading to pathologic destruction. It is often unprovoked. Serial killer actions can certainly be classified as aggressive as they are not prompted, are injurious, and are directed at mastering their victims.
Aggression is the end product of the processes of the brain. Aggression can be altered, strengthened, or weakened by environmental factors. It has as its center a complex a complex interaction of anatomic, chemical, and physiological determinants. Disruptions of controlling physiological mechanisms can lead to pathologic states of aggression. These disruptions can be caused by: neuroanatomical factors and neurochemical factors.
Macalester College ers/neuroanatomy.html> discusses that the neural control of aggression is hierchical; for instance, the midbrain and brainstem program the muscular movements but they are controlled by another structure, which in turn is controlled by another structure, and so on.
The first area to be discussed is the limbic system. The only parts of the limbic system related to aggression are the amygdala (amygdaloid complex) and the hypothalamus.
The primary function of the amygdala is emotion. A study of amygdala lesioning on 60 individuals with epilepsy or behavioral disorders was conducted. The results shows a great improvement to 29 patients (calm, obedient, social adaptation possible), moderate improvement to 22 patients (calmer), slight improvement to 7 patients (reduced excitation), and no improvement at all for 2 patients. This showed the vital role of the amygdala to aggression.
The next part of the limbic system is the hypothalamus. The hypothalamus links the endocrine system and the nervous systems in the brain stem. The hypothalamus also receives information from the amygdala. The hypothalamus lies below the thalamus and above the pituitary gland. The hypothalamus is involved in controlling thirst, appetite, and body temperature (The Human Body 1992). Most important of all, it is involved in aggression. Electrical stimulation or lesioning of the medial hypothalamus will turn animals into savage beasts as observed by Glusman (Glusman 1986). Lesions in humans have similar effects. As studied by Bear (Bear 1988), the patients who underwent the electrical stimulation attacked the attendants or anyone present at that time. But they later showed remorse and were able to control themselves.
This only showed that damage to the limbic system could trigger aggressive outbursts.
The second area of the brain to be discussed is the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is located at the very front of the brain. It receives information from multiple areas: the extra personal space, hypothalamus, and limbic system. The prefrontal cortex allows an individual to process judgment and to modulate or inhibit aggressive responses in a socially appropriate way. Damage to this part of the brain will make the patient strike out after little or no provocation at all, not considering the consequences. They will exhibit fast reflexive emotional responses to stimuli.
Macalester College ers/neurochem.html> states that the most significant relationship have been found between violent behavior and the neurotransmitter system.
Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers that enable the communication of nervous cells, neurons, in the central and peripheral nervous systems. In the human brain, this aspect of function regulates the flow of information to the neurons associated with emotional, cognitive, and behavioral experiences.
The brain has these neurotransmitters that either excites or starts the aggression mechanism or inhibit it. Examples of excitatory neurotransmitters are acetylcholine and norepinephrine while the inhibitory neurotransmitters are the serotonin and GABA (gammaaminobutyric acid).
A study by Burrowes (Burrowes 1988) which shows that patients with a low 5-HIAA ( a serotonin metabolite) levels attempted several violent suicides (a form of self-aggression). Serotonin leads to the limbic system which is involved in the production of emotional-affective behavior as well as aggression. Low serotonin levels will not stop the limbic system from being activated leading to outbursts of aggression.
Macalester College ers/corn.html> gives an idea why a balanced diet is important. It is proven that disturbed behaviors in youth are caused by an inappropriate food intake which leads to the insufficient intake of tryptophan. Tryptophan is an amino acid that regulates the production of serotonin. Also, excessive intake of junkfood is harmful for it contains excitatory neurotoxins that lead to the impairment of the brain’s serotinergic control and inhibitory control.
Macalester College ers/GENETICS.html> once again states that researchers proposed that the cause of the serial killer behavior may be influenced by a genetic factor. The researchers then conducted surveys among criminal men who are imprisoned in maximum security institutions. The results shows that they have an abnormal sex chromosome. It is discovered that they have an extra Y chromosome that is related to tallness and antisocial behavior.
However these surveys were uncontrolled therefore caution is asked when readers analyze this data.
There are actually three particular personality disorders that are related to serial killers. Macalester College ers/psychological_assoc.html> directly gives these disorders.
The first is the attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder. This disorder is well known for its pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity impulsivity that is more frequent and severe than is typically observed in individuals at the same level of development. There are evidences that Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD is prominent in serial killers and they are commonly referred to psychiatrists for treatment of rage and psychopathy.
Second is the antisocial personal disorder (the psychopath or sociopath). These people are usually with the characteristics of general disregard for others and are always caught violating the rights of others. They are very deceitful and manipulative. Contrary to common belief, a sociopath does not mean someone who is withdrawn or does not want to socialize.
Last is the conduct disorder. A person suffering from this disorder is always violating the basic rights of others. This criterion is for children and adolescence aged 17 and below. They are deceitful, aggressive, and they love destroying property of other people.
External
Serial killer development can begin in the womb, as stated by Macalester College .
Malnutritioned, anemic, alcoholic and drug-addicted mothers often have children with abnormal brain development. Alcoholism and drug abuse are hazardous to a fetal development as it interferes with the nervous system and these may affect a child’s and adult’s ability to control violent impulsive behavior. Also as Macalester College adds, an unhappy or unwanted pregnancy may cause a harmful effect on the future of an unborn child. It has been noted that stress levels result in the secretion of hormones, such as cortisal, that can be toxic to a fetus.
Equally important, Macalester College hap/ubnrp/serialkillers/bond.html> declares that pediatricians believe that bonding between parents start from the moment of birth. Gestures and emotional connections is the foundation for his future relationships with others. Bonding is also important to intellectual development and future self reliance, management of fear and other negative emotions. Most importantly, bonding is important to the development of conscience.
Bonding is achieved in stages that begin with smiles and gestures to the mother to being able to differentiate family and another. There is really no concluded time needed to complete this process. But it is generally agreed that by the age of two, a human being’s attitude toward life and other human beings has already been established.
Furthermore, the disruption of this bonding may render a child to be incapable of feeling sympathy, affection, or remorse (characteristics of serial killers). They are “detached” as said by pediatricians and psychologists and according to Newton (1992) as victims of humanity.
These detached children form a relationship based on need and not on emotion. They are also often retarded in development and conceptual thinking and language skills. They then became more aggressive and violent as they enter adolescence. The worst that could happen is that the individual could be suffering with antisocial personality disorder.
Macalester College ers/blame.html> further adds that criminologists and psychologists believe that sociopathic character, their tendencies, capacity for aggression, and raw violence are associated with family social patterns and dynamics. The childhood that these serial killers have is so terrible and cold that this caused them to loose their empathy for their fellow man.
Finally, Macalester College serialkillers/deadm.html> states that Ruth Inglis in her book Sins of Fathers notes a strong relationship between children and subsequent violent behaviors. Webster-Stratton in 1985 found that parents who were abused as children were more likely to abuse their own children in return. Dean et al in 1986 noted that children believed that their parents were just maltreating them due to their behavior. But the earlier the victims are abused; these children won’t understand what is happening. They will be less competent in expressing themselves. The only way the child can communicate is by acting out. They also carry these negative feelings to adulthood that causes internal anger and violence. It will all just be a vicious cycle. In the long run we would be having many emotionally unstable individuals.
Macalester College ers/del.html> points out that the social process theory states that one turns to crime as a result of peer group pressure, family problems, poor school performance, and etc. This is why it is possible to push a child into delinquent or violent behaviors.
Similarly, Macalester College /serialkillers/envi.html> gives us another theory, the social structure theory. This theory states that individuals from poverty-beaten families are more able to commit crimes because they can’t achieve the state of life that is financially stable through legitimate means, a result of their racial, ethnic, or subcultural standing.
Also Macalester College says that the origins of serial killer behavior deal with the social and cultural background. The specific environmental factor from the American culture that causes serial killer behavior is hard to pinpoint. Some selected American culture that we can relate to criminal violence are the normalization of interpersonal violence, the strong emphasis on creature comforts, emphasis on thrills and highs, the magical thinking, the unmotivated resentment and blaming of others, normalization of impulsiveness, excess of violent role-models, and lastly the emphasis on speed and immediate need-gratification.
There are no conclusions to the direct causes of serial killer behavior but data and literature suggests that alcohol, drugs, and pornography as major contributing factors. Although, it is a belief that pornography and alcohol causes people to kill but many Americans indulge on these yet they never physically harm anyone.
Macalester College ers/murdt.html> states that urbanism is also linked to serial killing. Murders here are often associated with social disorder, alienation, drugs, fear, dissociation, poverty, and broken homes. The probability of serial killer murder occurrences increases as the population density increases. Psychologists reason that this is due to the impersonilization and frequent encounter with strangers that go in hand with largely populated cities. High density populations are attractive to those who wish to melt to their environment. Further research is underway to warrant the connection between population density and the occurrence of serial murders.
Phases of Serial Killing
Macalester College ers/mindhome.html> clearly shows that there are four phases to serial murder.
The first phase is the antecedent behavior and planning. Before planning a kill, a killer is highly stressed from his life (job, home, school, relationships, and death-caused stress). A killer expresses negative emotions and then plans a murder based on a conscious fantasy, or reason to kill. Before the crime or murder, the killer is very violent and aggressive that leads to fire-starting, killing of animals, assaulting people, stealing, etc. The killer then roam around an area every night looking for victims that match the victims in their fantasy (the victims are relevant to the cause of the killer behavior). The impulse to kill only happens when the victims refuse to “cooperate” there fore they kill the victim to preserve the fantasy. Some triggers to kill are alcohol or the person himself. The control of the killer over the victim is what matters.
The second phase is the actual murder. Some killers are brought to their senses when they find themselves in the actual scene. They then get scared when the victim starts to struggle or scream. Yet there are killers who get extremely “high” with the scene.
The third phase is the disposal of the body. Disposing of the body differs among killers. Some may choose to leave their victims in the open or leave them. The places where they leave or bury their victims are relevant to the killer. One case is when a killer buried heads at his backyard with the heads looking up to his mother’s window. He would then tell his mother, “People look at you”. The body position is also important as it should be in a specific position just like in their fantasy. Some may be left nude or with small articles of clothing.
Other serial killers keep souvenirs of their victim, keeping body parts and the like.
The final phase is the post crime activity and behavior. After the crime, a killer is relieved. Some are still emotionally high and can’t rest because of the fear of getting caught. Some even return to the crime scene to observe the discovery of the body. They keep newspaper clippings and document their killing. They sometimes are the anonymous callers that tip the police where to find the body.
Preventive Measures to Remedy Serial Killing
Macalester College ers/possibleinterventions.html> states that an array of medications can be administered to regulate the aggressiveness. There are serotonin modulators such as lithium that are very useful.
Asiaweek, 20(16) (April 20, 1944): page 31 on the other hand states that stricter punitive measures must be enforced to prevent crimes from flourishing. For instance, Singapore did not tolerate teenage vandalizer Michael Faye and imprisoned him. As a result, vandalism in Singapore eventually disappeared.
Similarly, Thales verifies that the only way we can prevent serial killing is to build impregnable walls along certain metroplex and every neighborhood. To enter or leave a secure region one must use an unforgable ID card. It will be easy to find the suspects as the time, place, and identifications can be easily obtained.
Finally, as The Agenda, 1(24) (November 18, 1993) states, bureaucracy should be neglected and a unification move among all crime prevention agencies and intelligence agencies should team up to solve and prevent crimes. Incompetence, corruption, and mismanagement of an agency should immediately be remedied.
Conclusion
Serial killers have struck fear into the hearts of human beings. They are a major threat to society but society must also consider that these so called monsters are the product of our own doing.
Society is just getting back its due for as the saying goes, for every action comes an equal and opposite reaction. A change in the way it treats people should be changed. Discrimination and prejudice should be eliminated to eliminate or at least prevent the serial killer phenomenon from growing.
We should also highlight the importance of the core of society, the family. Every child has a right to be in an environment of love and nurturing. The rights of children should be strictly enforced because it is true that the future of our society lies in their hands. We can apply stricter security measures but the best way to prevent a serial murder from occurring is to destroy the root of it all: domestic violence.
It has been proven so many times now that disunity and carelessness have caused so many problems and will continue its destruction unless we fight for unity. Through this we can achieve the real utopia.
Bibliography
Books
The Grolier International Dictionary.
Maynard, Massachusetts: Houghton Mifflin Company,
1988.
The New Encyclopædia Britannica. 15th ed.
Chicago: Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc.,
1993.
Ressler, et al.
Sexual Homicide: Patterns and Motives.
Lexington: Lexington Heath,
1988.
Sainsbury, et al.
The Illustrated Dictionary of The Human Body.
Wiltshire, UK: Merlion Publishing Ltd,
1992.
Articles
“Anti-Crime Board Creates SIKOP”
The Agenda,
November 18, 1993, p. 3
Asiaweek, 20-16 (April 20, 1994):
p. 31
Internet
Carpe Noctem
“History of Serial Killers”

Macalester College
“Aggression”

Macalester College
“Are We All Emotional Beings?”

Macalester College
“Associated Psychological Disorder”
assoc.html>
Macalester College
“Blame Mommy and Daddy”

Macalester College
“Bonding”

Macalester College
“Corn”

Macalester College
“Dead Mad”

Macalester College
“Delinquents”

Macalester College
“Fantasies”

Macalester College
“Genes and Intelligence”

Macalester College
“Mind of Serial Killers”

Macalester College
“Murder Down Town”

Macalester College
“Neuroanatomy”

Macalester College
“Neurons and Neurotransmitters”

Macalester College
“Nope It’s The Environment”

Macalester College
“Possible Interventions”

Macalester College
“Stress Kills”

Macalester College
“Who Created These Monsters?”
create.html>
MSN Encarta
“Serial Killer”

Norris, Joel
“Serial Killers”

“Serial Killer”

Scott, Shirley Lynn
“Serial Killers”

Thales
“Cause and Prevention”
http://members.aol.com/thales97/draco.htm
Wikipedia Encyclopedia
“Serial Killers”

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Because I am smart. Cute, and kind… hehehe… I have decided to upload stuff that I think may be helpful to some people… Hopefully when people search or Google stuff they will find the information that I will post on my blogger to be able to facilitate learning and all that crap! Joke! Sorry for that! I just have my daily dose of coffee and a little bit uhm not my self lately… Anyway, yeah, I don’t really guarantee that my works are flawless but hey I got high grades in these projects, term papers, etc. Use them with discretion and don’t forget to add my name and URL on your bibliography! Hehehe…

Lust and Martyr

Today is a very bad day for me. My friend and I had hurt each other very deeply. And it’s all because of someone who is so lustful and can’t think about nothing else but sex. I won’t name these people to protect their privacy but I hate the lustful one (animal). Let’s just name them Lust, the devil, and Martyr, my friend. I don’t really understand why Martyr is giving Lust a chance even though Martyr knows that Lust is only after one thing… sex. I know, because I have to suffer the constant nonsense that Lust shares with me about how many people this maniac has slept with and etc.
Martyr is a very close friend of mine and I would never want to see this person get hurt and I blame myself for everything for it was my doing that made their paths to cross. I have told Martyr who Lust is and what Lust is capable of but somehow Martyr got infatuated with Lust and suddenly decides to give Lust a chance and hoped that Lust won’t treat Martyr as Lust treats the other exes. I’m only hoping for a miracle that this is true for Martyr hopes that Martyr can change Lust. But who could change Lust when even the source of Lust can’t control Lust. Lust is a selfish spoiled brat who gets what Lusts wants anytime anywhere.
Oh! The great pain I go through every time I think of Lust and Martyr together. I know that Martyr will never give Lust what Lust wants because Martyr is not stupid like the exes of Lust.
I don’t know what to do… If Martyr is happy with Lust, should I just leave Martyr alone when I know what will happen in the end? Lust gets what Lust wants and then leaves Martyr alone with nothing? How sad… How really sad…

Stress! How Do We Cope With It?

Stress! How Do We Cope With It?
Stress is part of life. Or we can also say that life is stress. Yes these two come hand in hand. Why because life could never exist with out stress and stress cannot exist with out life. We experience stress on a day-to-day basis. We experience stress at home, at school, and even in our love life! But stress does not just happen when we feel on the edge or when we are on the verge of exploding! Stress also accompanies us during our good experiences like your first kiss, getting an A in Chemistry, or even when you get to finish a very brain-drilling project. So this is how we sort of understand stress. But what is stress really and how do we cope with it?
Stress, which we all know is the opposite of relaxation, is a medical term for the "wear and tear" our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment. Our stress can be classified into two types according to its causes and effects. Eustress, or the positive stress, is essential to life because this kind of stress empowers us to be more productive and it also results in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective. Eustress is the product of extreme happiness. Distress, or the negative stress, on the other hand can result in disease. The longer a person is subjected to distress, the person may be overstressed and the person will experience feelings of distrust, rejection, anger, and depression, which in turn can lead to severe health problems such as headaches, upset stomach, rashes, insomnia, ulcers, high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke. There are many temporary relieves for stress, or pick-me-ups, such as sugar, alcohol, caffeine, solvents, drugs, tobacco, and even our own adrenaline. It is not advisable to combat our depression with these pick-me-ups because they are only temporary and they will lead to addiction and dependence to these items. It is more advisable to cope up stress by proper stress management. There are six simple ways to do this. The first way is to identify your stressors, or the factors that cause stress. If you have identified your stressors, the second step would be to recognize what you can change. For example, we AHSE students have 31 units this semester and this is our stressor. To reduce the effect of the stress caused by this since we cannot drop subjects, we can devote part of our time to give attention to each subject and give ourselves breaks. The third way to reduce stress is to reduce the intensity of your emotional reactions to stress. Always think positive and do not linger with the “what ifs and should haves”. Fourth is to learn to moderate your physical reactions to stress. We should learn relaxation techniques like deep breathing. Fifth is to build your physical reserves. We should always stay physically healthy by exercising regularly, eating right, and sleeping right. Lastly, we should maintain our emotional reserves. We can do this by developing a support group.
Coping with stress is not a hard task. All we need is the will to throw away our troubles and just be happy. As the very popular saying would go, it’s a mind over matter thing. We can never get rid of our stressors so we might as well live with it creatively. If you still can’t cope it’s advisable to seek professional help.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Why am I blogging again?


Why am I blogging again?
Here I go again jotting down my thoughts and posting it on my blog. Well let’s just say that I have been inspired by a colleague again and also realized why I blog. I blog, or write down an online journal, to have someone, or in this case an inanimate object, hear my sentiments and even problems. I suddenly remember Sarah Jessica Parker and Sex and the City. She’s a writer right and she always write down her thoughts on her laptop. Well let’s just say that I myself am an aspiring writer and I do express my self better in writing than speaking. Besides, in this case my blog won’t reject me because of the things I say and I am assured that my blogger would listen and won’t get bored.
I also want other people to know me… Well just for the fun of it hehehe. Joke. It’s not as if the whole world really have access to my blog. But I do have some visitors of my blog and they are from other countries and they too have blogs.
Hey don’t get me wrong! I may be an introvert but I also do have my own circle of friends to share my problems, joys, and etc. That’s why I haven’t updated my blog for a very long time now. Well it has been very long since my last post. I have a lot of updating to do. Where to start? My life is becoming interesting and exciting.
Hey! I suddenly thought of another reason why I should blog! If ever I die at least my parents and loved ones can have something to log on to, to remember me and my pessimistic self hehehe… yes life is short and we should make the best out of it.
Ok enough drama, here is the start of my blogging spree hehehe… I’ll try to write down my thoughts everyday. And sorry if you get board, but hey… this blog is all about me right?! Bwahahaha!!!
Enjoy! (hopefully)

WAITING FOR SOMEONE

“I’m just waiting for someone to come along and make me happy"
Mary is depressed and lonely. She feels her life is a mess. She tells herself, "If I can just find some people to like me I'll be happy."
WRONG!
When your life is a mess, happy and stable people tend to avoid you. They look for those who are basically happy and stable. While Mary is miserable and depressed, she'll only attract people who have big problems. They they’ll have twice the misery.
The same applies to waiting for lovers. We have to sort ourselves out first. If I say to you "Love me enough, and I'm sure I'll stop trying to kill myself'< that’s bound to put a strain on the relationship.
Other people can help to make us happier, but we need to be in control of our life first. When we wait for people to 'arrive' and fix everything we're courting disappointment. If they don’t arrive, we get more depressed
If they do arrive, but they don’t behave, as we want, then we get really depressed! Then we blame them and say, "you're supposed to make me happy!"
People who enjoy fulfilling, stable relationships are balanced people. They don't go looking for someone else to 'fill a hole'
They recognize their own value. In songs and movies people say, "I was NOBODY 'till I met," but in real life, that’s an unhealthy situation. You have to be SOMEBODY first. It’s no good being someone’s "other half" - you’re a whole person.
SO WHAT DO I DO?
Lets learn from Mary. She is lonely, depressed, and feels left out. She doesn’t understand why people exclude her from their plans.
She may have overlooked the fact that she’s always waiting for other people to call her up, make a move, make a date, and coax her into joining them. People get tired of coaxing you into things. They want enthusiasm.
You have to make it known that you’re ready to participate in life. The first step in making friends is a willingness to get out and meet people. You don’t meet many fascinating individuals walking between your TV and your computer.
Mary can become an initiator, and get on the phone and call up some people. "Hi, John! You may not remember me but I live across the street. Would you like to go out for a pizza?” Hi BRYLE (here) Imp thinking of doing some cycling, studying, or hang gliding this weekend. Will you join me?
The world is full of people who have conquered shyness (or arrogance or pride) and have opened up new horizons. If you plan to make some changes and some new friends, be prepared for the occasional knock back or declined invitation. Continue to make the effort and you’ll be rewarded.
To avoid disappointment, form friendships without expecting anything in return. Do things for others without demands, and you’ll never be disappointed. Some people will return favors and affection, and some wont. If you care for people because you want to, and not because you expect something back, you wont feel crushed should they fail to return a thought or favor?
The universe is essentially fair and just. If you are giving out care and affection, good things will come back to you, though not necessarily when or from where you expect.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006