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V	Valiant
I	Intense
N	Natural
C	Crazy
E	Entertaining
N	Normal
T	Trustworthy
B	Bold
8
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UCAUTION

IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP VINCENTB88 AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.

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Online Friend/Love Finders

It's amazing what loneliness can do to a person... Didi you know that I have quite a number of accounts in sites where you supposedly meet and make friends with people? I have hi5, friendster, neatvibe, sms.ac, and currently espinthebottle (just add www....com except for sms.ac). Join me! Hehehe... But honestly it does not work... chat is better. If you don't care about physical appearances go for chats, but you can go into eye-ball chats if you believe the looks is what matters. Try eye-ball chat at eyeball.com I think or Yahoo Messenger!

Theater Arts

You know what I joined or auditioned rather in a school organization related to the theatrical arts, I so sucked! I did not act, I simply said words with feelings! Hahaha, but doesn't matter if I don't get picked anyway since I will be having a lot of things in my hand like my studies for once. It's really so so... uh... it really asks a lot from you, time, effort, and everything. But it's not that stressful, I had more stress in high school as compared to this. I just wish that I can really do my best and get high grades as well since I need at least B - to maintain my scholarship, half scholarship to be exact. Right now I'm at our computer lab waiting for my next subject, Biology. I don't even have time anymore to have fun, well not that much time that I was accustomed of. Well, Life is still good.

Love this Song by HALE!

Take me as you are,

Push me off the road the sadness,

I need this time to be with you

I'm freezing in the sun;

I'm burning in the rain

The silence;

I'm screaming,

Calling out your name.

And i do reside in your light

Put out the fire with me and find

Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles

That's what i'll do if we say goodbye.



To be is all i gotta be

And all that i see

And all that i need is time

To me, the life you gave me

The day you said goodnight.



The calmness in your face

That i see through the night

The warmth of your light is pressing unto us

You didn't ask me why

I never would have known oblivion is falling down.

And i do reside in your light

Put out the fire with me and find

Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles

That's what i'll do if we say goodbye.



To be is all i gotta be

And all that i see

And all that i need is time

To me the life you gave me

The day you said goodnight.



If you could only know me like your prayers at

night

Then everything between you and me will be all

Right.



To be is all i gotta be

And all that i see

And all that i need is time

To me the life you gave me

The day you said goodnight.



She's already taken,

She's already taken

She's already taken me

She's already taken,

She's already taken

She's already taken me.

The day you said goodnight

Join Me at Neatvibe!

Vincent Bautista has invited you to join his community at Neatvibe, where you and Vincent can network with each other's friends.



Neatvibe is an online community that connects people through networks of friends. Once you join Neatvibe, you will be automatically connected to Vincent, and all of his friends.



Click on the link below to join Neatvibe:

http://www.neatvibe.com/invite.jsp?Rid=261f6f27b1048b9105ac7c08344

Virus Alert!

If someone by the name of dvorak@yahoo.com wants to add you to your list don't accept it. It's a virus. Tell everyone on your list because if somebody on your list adds them you will get it too. Tell everyone on your list not to open anything from angell11, tewwtuler, and sassybitch. lt is a hard drive killer and a very horrible virus. Please pass this on to everyone on your list. We need to find out who is using these accounts. Sorry for the inconvenience. Right click on your group name of your buddy list and click Send Message To All. Copy and paste this message.



I really hate people who send viruses and all to other people. It's not funny and it's definetely very offensive, It destroys not only important files but also our computer. This is a serious crime and yes it is against the law. Do not open any attachments in e-mails sent to you by strangers because they may likey contain viruses.

College Life Update

College life is fun! I have never had so many brakes in my life! I have all the time to do assignments and study during breaks BUT I seem to be having too much fun with my friends that I forget to study na or I get too lazy... buhuhuh. I wish that I'll sort this out. I shouldn't see my friends during breaks so that I can concentrate on my studies. Hey college is no small deal! It's very expensive and failing it is not an option. Failing will never be an option, ever! I wish that I'll finish college honors or no honors. But I'll still do my best to get higher grades. The feeling of graduating with honors is euphoric! Euphoric... wonder what this means, I'm just using it because it sounds good. Anyway college here I come! Veni Vedi Vici! I came, I saw, and I will conquer!

Never Do Anything When You're Mad

You know what I've learned something very important today... Never act when you're mad because the tendency is that your testosterones will work and you can't control what your saying or doing. This is one good realization I've learned from my friend. From now on I will be calm and peacefull... hopefully.

My WORST Day at XU

This event took place this morning of Saturday, June 4, 2005. I was at XU and I was going to get my ID. I was glad to go to school this Monday and I was even excited. It didn't bother me that the 1,000 (I think) Freshmen students had to make a line to get their ID's. There were even only two tellers who facilitated the handing out of the ID's by the way. Ok it was hot, crowded, and confusing but I still smiled and said to my self that I should sacrifice a little because this will end quickly. A couple of minutes later and our line was moving slower than a snail, literaly. Thye people then went balistic when someone said that not all ID's would be given that day. The people rushed to the blackboard were the names of the people who will receive their ID's that day, People pushed and squeezed just to search for their names. The blackboard was almost tipped over because of the crowd who wants to get a glimpse.

Despite the crowd, the long line, the hot sun, everything was going well when all of the sudden there were already three lines! What's the big deal with the three lines? Remember there were only two tellers so where does the extra line go? To one of the tellers specifically the A-L window. The other window was M-Z, you had to go to the window with the letter where your surname starts. Unfortunately I was with the A-L window with the two lines. All of the sudden the teller said to make one line. The guy infront of me didn't know how to converse with the teller because he might be shy or confused as I was. I told her that there were two lines to begin with. The crowd was so enormous that we couldn't make head or tails of the lines. I tried to reason with her, I asked her which line we should follow because both lines were already very long and it would be unfair for both of our parts to break up one line. I asked the people if it was ok if both lines cooperated and just go to the teller at intervals and both lines agreed. But still this teller was so closed-minded and stubborn. I reasoned with her but she completely ignored me so I was overcome with my irritation and maybe it was just because of the hot temperature that I lost my calmness. I admit I did raise my voice, but to a right level so I would be heard. I did respected them and addressed them with courtesy saying "Ma'am". There was one of the assistants who was more open to the problem and indeed realize that there was really a problem. She agreed with our plan but the teller would not. One line... what line would be dissolved I asked. She replied "Kamo na mag sabot..." but didn't you listen to me at all? We already decided to do an interval. The rest is a blank to me. After I got my ID I left the chaos and the heat of things.

Someone told me that people were calling me names like "Dramatic Person" or "Scene Maker" and some even tagged me gay because of my accent and expressions.

If it is wrong to argue and talk to fix things then fine I won't do anything! I quit! If it is so wrong to fix a chaotic scene with unity then fine I won't do anything of that! If it is wrong to speak out your mind then I will shut my mouth and let things as they are, I won't try to change things, it is impossible to make a difference at all. If I get laughed at instead of being supported then fine I don't care. I'm really confused. What ius the right thing to do? What would an Atenean do?

I admit that I did make a scene but it was after I was ignored. I DID KEEP MY CALM but lost it when I was IGNORED. She was right for following the rules, we should have made one line. But how? What line would be dissolved, we had waited so long and then we would be at the back of another line? We did solve that problem when we agreed to make intervals when we approach the "teller" or person-in-charge.

No one spoke up. The person in front of me did not speak up. What would happen? What happened after I spoke and made a fool of my self?

Ok I suddenly realized that we should have made one line with the interval thing but was I wrong to speak up? I did not mean to make a scene and that is the last thing I would do. But I was ignored she did not reply and did not tell us what to do. We were in chaos because we lacked the information. There were no signs of what to do and there wasn't any student assistants or leaders outside assisting the crowd.

I may be out of line sometimes that is why...

I apologize for my actions. They were immature and not right at all. I should just go with the flow and just follow what happens.

I have to admit I do feel bad and I don't know anything at all. All of the things I beleived in flew away and are nonsense. I don't know what to do anymore. Sorry...

A Poem That Will Touch Every Soul

Last February 18 to 25 of 2005, my class the 4 – Richie Fernando were at the Jesuit Retreat House in Malaybalay City for obviously their retreat, our retreat rather. Here we knew our selves more and our classmates, our friends, more. Tears were shed, thanks and sorry were uttered, and letters from the people who loved us were read. One poem that I would never forget and had made an impact to me was of Ma’am Shals, the Jedi Knight. Ma’am Shals defender of the weak and upholder of the light, may the Force be with her!
Any way as I was saying, she gave us a poem or a chain of poems that really brought me to tears because it really reflected what I feel inside. Here is the said poem…

AFTER A WHILE
After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open,
With the grace of an adult and not the grief of a child.

And you begin to build all your roads on today for tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to give you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong. And you really do have worth.

AFTER “AFTER A WHILE”
After ‘after a while’
You want to hold a hand not to chain a soul but to enjoy its company, and you want someone’s lips to kiss, not because you are lonely but because you are happy, and you want to give presents and you want to make promises.

After ‘after a while’
You begin to accept your defeats like an adult, but unlike a child, will want someone to listen and care, and you want someone who will build roads with you today so maybe you can pave the way for your future together.

After ‘after a while’
You want someone’s sunshine and warmth, but also accept the rain and the cold, and you want to give flowers picked from your own garden.

And when your garden is picture perfect, you want it to be more than a picture even if it means having to be imperfect because you want someone in it to stay and to live. Then you’ll see that there is such a thing as love… and that you were made to live in someone else’s garden… and you’ll know that there is more to life than your self.
AND NOW…
You realize that no matter how tightly you hold, if you’re meant to let go, you can.
And then you will understand that loves gives you reasons to understand even the most complicated situations.
And you will grow older believing that just because you have convictions doesn’t mean your right.

You will remember lips because of the smiles that made your day, the words that touched your soul, not only because of the sweet kisses.
And as you graciously accept defeat and absorb the meaning the meaning of lessons learned,
You feel that you are finally being the person you never thought you’d be.

So armed with courage, strength and confidence, you will face the world ahead on…
With or without an army behind you.
Because you know your worth and that alone is an armor.
With more hearthbreaks you will cry. But after every hearthache you will rise.

SOON…
The whole world will be your garden, and sometimes you need the weeds as much as the flowers. For it asks you to be patient and persevere. It knows your worth. It knows that you dare to love even those who are not lovable. So grow with the weeds, and care for them as you do the flowers. For life is a garden… it takes long to make it beautiful. But it’s always worth the wait… c”,)

The Stolen Voice

I really love singing. Ever since I was a child I’ve always dreamt of being a singer. Once I even made a “recording” with my favorite cousin, I wonder where she is right now. I believe that I can sing, some people think I am a good singer but sometimes I just think I am too ambitious to even be able to sing a note.
Singing for me is a good way to express my self. Music inspires me and strengthens me. It revives me and makes me believe in what seems impossible. My sadness, happiness, and mostly any feelings I may have. I do this mostly when I’m alone because my voice is always stolen from me when I want to speak. I am always held down when I want to stand up for my self. People underestimate me and even step on my rights. I want to fight but I just let it go because I know it’s useless. I always lose in the end.
There was one very depressing moment when my voice was really taken away from me. I remember it like it just happened yesterday and the wounds are still aching. It was one cold December and I was a sophomore back then. We were having this Christmas Carol competition and of course I was excited because I was ready to join in this competition and win it like last year. I was so full of spirit but was all sucked down the drain when I found out that I wasn’t included in the singers. I was crushed! Like what the? We didn’t even have an audition like last year with our other music teacher and she was able to pick the singers already? I then l realized that the audition was last times test, the National Anthem and School Hymn Singing Quiz. It so happened that I did not really sing that time. I thought that she was only testing if we knew the lyrics and what’s worse I had a partner who distracted me. She did not tell us that it was an audition!
Fine I should have always been in my performance level and always sang with my heart no matter how the song sounded (no offense to our National Anthem and School Hymn). I was sulking and I couldn’t stand a night with out thinking of the fact that I wasn’t going to sing. Was it because I suck? My other music teacher thought likewise and I had my third voice baritone pitch. But all of that was trash for her. Oh I loathed that second year music teacher of ours! I so hated her and I still do now. You know what added to my misery? There was this guy who was picked to sing but never really wanted to sing in the first place. He did not join in the practices and this really pissed me off! I wanted to give him a piece of my mind! I wanted to tell him how lucky he was and I should have had his place if he didn’t want to sing. I deserved that place!
I was placed as the flute player which “she” said in the later days was unnecessary. So I wasn’t able to sing and I wasn’t able to perform. My other unfortunate “musicians” were so gleeful and happy about the idea but not me. Oh no! I was a performer! The stage was my home I belonged there! But to my misery and beaten self, this wasn’t enough. We were forced to watch the contest which brought me so much pain. I cried and cried the whole concert. I didn’t care anymore what the people think. I felt so low so useless. I felt a part of my soul torn and burned to ashes. I remembered the nights that I sulked and sobbed. My classmates asked me what’s wrong and I gave them a lame excuse, I had to do research for our project and now I can’t do it. I swore that I would never sing especially in our school. But I love singing! And yup I never did have a chance to sing a solo. I really was sad during our graduation. The only thing that I wanted to do was to sing my soul out to everyone. Why did the other people who were worse singers than I was given the chance? Why was my voice stolen from me? All I wanted to do was sing. And in that graduation, now even, I realized that I had graduated with out fulfilling one of my goals, one of my dreams, to sing. I did perform on stage for our school play, Hatol ng Guhit na Bilog (The Caucasian Chalk Circle) but singing was different and I only had a small role (but they said there were no small roles, only small actors… like ouch!). My voice was stolen from me. Every now and then I still imagine my self singing on our stage. This will haunt me for the rest of my life. I guess I was never born to sing.

Identity Crisis

I guess we do all have a picture in mind when we hear the word identity crisis. I guess all teens are faced with this question, well in my opinion though. Who are we and what are we? Why are we here? Where are we? What will we be in the future? Is there a future? What will happen next? Will everything be all right?
All these questions keep on barraging me and are making me insane. It then brings me to the question “What Do I Want”? Oh no! Is this a bad case of Down syndrome? Ok not really down but depression or post-depression even. Why am I depressed in the first place? Is it because I am faced with so many fears of the unknown? Can’t take this anymore, I give up!

Bench Model

You know what? I am a big fan of the Online Community we call Friendster! Yes I am and I love meeting new people and it really feels good if someone invites you to be his/her friend. It really is easy to meet these real people “virtually”. But I’m not going to talk about that.
I have noticed that every good looking guy or guys who think they’re good looking always address to themselves as the “Bench Models”. But hey I have to agree they do look like models and are of model quality but why Bench? Is Bench really the “In-Thing” of our Fashion Era? Well I am also a Bench fan and I love the “Love Ko Bench” shirt but why Bench? Why not a Penshoppe model or a Guess model? Why not model other line of products?
Wait a minute… Why am I always asking these questions? Why do I make a big hysteria of these things? Beats me I don’t understand myself either. Well just shouting out my ideas.

What Do I Want? What Do We Want?

Right now I am very confused. Before I had a clear view of my wants and the goals I wanted to achieve. But I am suddenly struck by the reality that I am in a void. I don’t know what I want in life anymore. Everything seems to be a monotonous re-run of what I call my life.
Before I had all of these things that I wanted and thought I wanted. Only to find out in the end that I never really wanted these and it would never really make me happy in the end. What would make me happy? What do I want? What do we all want in life?
I thought that getting what I want was easy. There are things that what ever I do, I will never get. There are things that I have sacrificed a lot for but seem pointless and worthless in the end.
I don’t know what I really want and really need. But don’t be fooled that what I mean is of things that this material world will offer. What I speak of is one that means more. I speak of the spiritual aspect of life, things that relates to the soul and true happiness. I don’t know. It all seems so blurry and all I can make of is snapshots of odd figures and signs.
What lies for me ahead? What is my destiny and what is my fate if all are pre-written? All is a chain of questions.

Using Cellphones and Social Status Issues

One time I was riding a pubic transportation when my phone rang. I received a text message and I replied. Again my phone rang and this continued up to three messages. All of a sudden this girl beside me said “samok ba!” This is a expression used in the Philippines to show extreme irritation. But I was shocked and felt attacked, which I really was. That time I just kept quite and minded my own business and then went down at my stop. If I wasn’t in my good mood she would receive a good bashing.
I was thinking why would she be irritated? I was practicing phone etiquette, my ring volume was not to the maximum level, I did not raise my phone to show off and in fact I was hiding it from view. It just happens that she was at my side and she saw it. And it comes to me is this jealousy? Does my Nokia 6260 threaten her? Does my Ryan Cabrera Shame on Me true tone a way of saying she’s cheap? If these things give off these expressions then I’m sorry. But since when is it wrong to use a phone that you really like and the tone that you like? I never heard of a Presidential Decree or a Republic Act stating so.
Does this mean that if she had an old phone with basic lcd and monophonic ring tones then I should get that type of phone too? Where is democracy in that? If she’s poor I have to be poor? If she suffers I have to suffer too? This is just the manifestation of Filipino Crab Mentality. When one crab is about to escape, the other crabs tend to pull it down. She has a serious problem and she really needs professional help.
I did not do anything wrong and if living a life of style and luxury was wrong then they should arrest every businessmen, every professionals, every working citizens who work so hard just to provide for their families and acquire certain items as their trophies of their life’s work. I don’t have a job yet yes but this phone is not in any way meant to say I’m rich and you’re poor. This phone has been a dream for me and it is also a gift from my mom for finishing high school. And believe me I worked so hard just to strive to achieve excellence and this phone is a sign of that. I am not guilty of anything because this is a free country and I can use and buy (in the future) anything may it be luxurious or not and I won’t feel guilty that other people might not be doing well as me. It’s not my fault that they are like that and maybe neither theirs. No one chooses to be poor right? But if they can’t eat three times a day, should I not eat three times a day too? Sure I’m willing to share my blessings, but I can’t give them what I don’t have and I can’t give them the things that I’ve worked for for my family.
If you’re saying that I shouldn’t have used my phone in public then I ask you what is the use of a portable telephone when you can’t avail of its convenience. Do you mean I have to go to the bathroom just to use my phone? Do I have to be ashamed to have a great phone? I am not stepping on anyone’s rights so I am free to do things I want.

Life as a Writer

I really look up to the great writers such as J.K. Rowling, J.R. Tolkien, and the other writers through out history. Writing is really hard! Very hard indeed! They’re so good to think of a plot and all and they can imagine different scenarios and you really are drawn into the story for its realism. I try to write stories but I can’t write a 1000 page novel or even a 50 page one. It’s really hard to sustain the story and to put twists and excitement to the branches that come from the main plot. I really admire writers their works are art. You know even writing an essay is quite hard, you have to plan the flow of ideas the topic and how to make it interesting. I really want to write but I lack the effort I guess and the inspiration. I do have a story I’m working on but it’s so bloody and full of hatred. I’m still thinking if I should post it. I’m going to work with it maybe improve it and we’ll see. Until next time, I the Writer have to resign.

Online Life a Bust

My online life is quite static right now. I do have internet connection but what’s the use? Our internet service provider (ISP) is useless, it does not provide internet because for a long time now their lines are up and running but they can’t figure why people can’t connect through the internet by dial-up. This is the provincial technology so we can’t expect much. Anyway I’m online right now, I had to travel 1 hour to the nearest city to use a computer, poor me.

Let’s Talk About Love

As the song goes by the Soul Siren, Nina, love does move in mysterious ways. What is love by the way? Is it mere attraction between the opposite sex, or in these days same sex? Is love merely an attraction because a study does prove that good looks really count. A good and fit body is attractive because this is a sign of good genes, and in our living world spreading good genes is everything. I guess your thinking this is a scientific essay or some sort but nope you’re wrong.
For a very close friend of mine which we will hide by the name “Jynx” love really works in mysterious ways. Love does great things for her. Love empowers her and it makes her strong to reach her dreams. She also said that Love makes her go through Sh*t (she said it herself) but she is willing to go through it because no matter how hard it is to keep a healthy love life it is fulfilling.
I guess Jynx’s case is true love. But what is true love? Is it the love we see on TV? Is there a case-type love in the first place? I believe that we are prone to these love-sick symptoms because of continuous exposure to soap operas and romantic teleseryes like Full House and Lovers in Paris. Their love seems so perfect right? Them against the world, nothing will stop their love but does this really happens in the real world? Do we love because we’re lonely? Do we love because we have to for our so-called reputations?
It has come to my senses that it has been a frequent topic in high school if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend? Honestly what’s up with this? Is it a social norm to get a BF or GF in high school and if you don’t you’re not normal? A parent (a father of course) of someone once asked me if I already had a girlfriend. I wanted to spit at his face, not really just exaggerating. I wanted to reply whether my mission and main goal in high school was to learn or to get my self a girlfriend. Well, he must be proud of his son who is really successful at this trade, he really has a lot of girls to choose from, and if he’s lucky he can finish fourth year high school as a side job.
Again back to my silly questions. Why do we love? Is it fate? Is it because we believe they’re our soul mates? But our soul mates, according to a term paper by a Nerd (my classmate), are usually of the same sex. But this is the future right? Same sex relationships are not new but what is normal anyway? Who can say that these are the norms? Are we so perfect that we can set up standards? This is really a debatable issue.
Why do we love and who do we love? Are we destined to someone or is it all up to chance? It’s really hard to define love don’t you think? When I was ten years old I defined love as the fast beating of our hearts when we ace the person we have a crush on. Now love for me is a complex mystery.
Or we could just forget about thinking and stick to my spread the genes theory, the attraction thing.